Bad Sportsmanship?

If I don't like a person with I'm shooting against I will give acknowledgement and I will shake their hand reguardless if I win or loss. As for your question NO, you are not a bad sport for not shaking her hand. You did wish her luck and told her good match. To me that is as good as a hand shake.
 
If I saw her standing at the urinal in the men's room and then walk out without washing I wouldn't shake her hand either.
 
She was inside your head before you ever hit a ball... advantage to her.

I would have shook her hand up front... and would have said to her quietly... "The only reason I'm shaking your hand is to give the appearance that I respect you."... advantage, you!
 
If somebody has been downright disrespectful or mean towards myself I wouldn't think twice about simply walking away after the match is over. I'm not going to try to shark or anything, but they can eat dirt if they think I'm going to acknowledge them as anything more than a waste of space. I've had this situation come up maybe twice in my brief time playing. One of them asked why, I told him he tried stealing from me by sneaking out of the bar after owing me money on a game (tracked him down only to find out he didn't have it all). The other was probably just in his own self-absorbed world of throwing a tantrum after losing.

I'm all for congratulating another person or team on their win, but don't ask me to grant unnecessary courtesies to those that don't deserve any. I'm a pretty tolerant person, so it takes a bit to get under my skin that far, too. I've got plenty of respect for the game; I'll call fouls on myself and teammates and won't hesitate to call a ref on my own shot just to be on the safe side (that may change if I ever go to BCA nationals, tho :eek: ).
 
Banks said:
If somebody has been downright disrespectful or mean towards myself I wouldn't think twice about simply walking away after the match is over. I'm not going to try to shark or anything, but they can eat dirt if they think I'm going to acknowledge them as anything more than a waste of space. I've had this situation come up maybe twice in my brief time playing. One of them asked why, I told him he tried stealing from me by sneaking out of the bar after owing me money on a game (tracked him down only to find out he didn't have it all). The other was probably just in his own self-absorbed world of throwing a tantrum after losing.

I'm all for congratulating another person or team on their win, but don't ask me to grant unnecessary courtesies to those that don't deserve any. I'm a pretty tolerant person, so it takes a bit to get under my skin that far, too. I've got plenty of respect for the game; I'll call fouls on myself and teammates and won't hesitate to call a ref on my own shot just to be on the safe side (that may change if I ever go to BCA nationals, tho :eek: ).
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See, it is really interesting situation, how to handle having to play someone you despise. Sounds to me everyone plays it different.
 
you did send mixed messages

palmer54 said:
Hello all, Long time lurker but decided to start posting mainly due to what came up last night. Glad to be here.

Last night in my APA 9-ball match I was thrown blind and the other team threw a skill level two who I have a long history with. I had to kick off my team a few sessions ago for a multitude of reasons and she and my wife had had words on numerous occasions. This a person I can live without seeing much less playing in a match. Well, Of course I play horrible, she plays great and gets alot of rolls, and wins. At the beginning of the match and the end of the match, I refused to shake her hand-which i would have refused to do win or lose. I do not respect her nor will I show her that sign of respect. I did wish her luck at the beginning and said good match twice at the end. I feel like I a justified in acting in a classy manner but not wanting to shake her hand. I didnt feel like this was a big deal

Well, as we all know, people who you have issues with always find ways to blow things out of proportion. This time she went around the bar telling people I respect and who I play with often along with friends of mine that I am a bad sport cause I lost to her. So what is your take, I say I am being a good sport giving her acknowledgment but refusing to have physical contact with someone who I feel is a horrible person, or am i a bad sport.
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You did send mixed messages with compliments on play and not shaking hands. I deal with people the same way playing them in a competition or when I meet them other places. If I wouldn't shake their hand anywhere else I'm not going to shake hands just because we meet in an event. If my beef is only how they behaved in play I'll probably shake their hand. If somebody out and out cheats, no.

Hu
 
palmer54 said:
Thanks for all your input guys. I want to point out I wouldnt have shook her hand weather I won, lost, or the building caught fire. But, after reading alot of your posts, I see where I should at least give a half hearted handshake to at least show respeat to the game and others.
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Then I take it a big wet one with half a tongue is out of the question? :D
 
K Knight said:
I kind of disagree, even though I do see your point. Being a gentleman and a good sport is done out of choice regardless of how it is received. IMHO you should always offer the courtesy of a hand-shake and a "good game" regardless of whether you want to.

A lot of people suck at life and you don't have to respect them but leave all that off the table. Congratulating someone after a match well played in an "equal" contest deserves the appropriate response. Just my 2 cents.

If you can't play nice in the sandbox, don't play in the sandbox.
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I share this exact thought. It's a sign of politeness and sportsmanship to offer a handshake to an opponent, regardless of whether or not you like them.

At the end of the day, it takes a lot more energy to not shake someone's hand and wonder if you should have, than it does to just shake the damn hand.
 
I always shake hands after a match, regardless of my opinion of the other player. It's just etiquette and it's what makes this a gentleman's game. I don't walk in front of shots either for the same reason. Or pick up someone else's cue. Picking who I will and who I won't extend etiquette to seems snobbish IMO.
 
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"... had to kick off my team a few sessions ago for a multitude of reasons and she and my wife had had words on numerous occasions..."

Without knowing more about the "multitude of reasons" it's hard to tell who, if anyone, is the poor sport here. Maybe you, mayby her, maybe both, maybe neither. Some people are deserving of rude treatment, imo.

And NO - we don't want to know anything about the multitude. Just saying details from long ago might have been a factor in recent match.

Your situation, so your decision.
 
Cut her hard and sideways. Slice her up into little pieces. It'll make you feel better.
 
NewStroke said:
I am the same way, there are some people, and they know who they are, we are better off not interacting with. Of course, it has nothing to do with me, it's them and it's all their fault. :)
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Damn, Dan. I just thought you were a germaphobe. I guess now I know...lol.
 
Shaking

You should have shook her hand at the end of the match and been a gentleman and good sport.

I had one guy one time in a tournament refuse to shake my hand at the start and the end of the match, and told me, "I hope you lose your next match" simply because he had been bragging to his girlfriend before the match about how good he was, and I beat him pretty badly in front of his girlfriend.

BUT - I do have a thing against shaking cold clammy wet hands...... Eeewww!!! Yuk, yuk, and double yuk. That puts me off big time. The problem is, you usually don't know it until you have already shaken their hand.
 
Other alternatives
You could have shook her hand and crunched her fingers sideways just to make her remember how much you hate her.:angry:
Or you could have spit in your palm first and than shook. :p
 
palmer54 said:
Hello all, Long time lurker but decided to start posting mainly due to what came up last night. Glad to be here.

a skill level two who I have a long history with. Well, Of course I play horrible, she plays great and gets alot of rolls, and wins.
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A TWO? You let a TWO beat you? Was her stick painted red and white and did she tap it on the table to find her balls? Or did her seeing eye dog help her out? It doesn't matter whether you shook her hand or not. You got beat by a TWO. Nobody gave a rats ass whether you shook her hand or not. They were all trying to figure out how you got beat by aTWO:rotflmao1:
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CreeDo said:
I think a fine compromise is the old "dead fish". Nobody can say you didn't do your duty.
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It's like a limp piece of F. U. right in your hand. It is the equivilant of saying "have a nice day" instead of F.U.

They threw her against you because of the bad blood. It worked, you lost (probably before you ever hit a shot) and you let your feelings take you out of the game. You didn't rise to the occasion and stomp her on the table. Your feelings were used against you and you did exactly what was expected of you (they threw her for a reason) and then close out the night with some passive aggressive bs.

You should have treated her like any other opponent and thrashed her on the table like you are capable. You probably could have played repeated safeties on her for the satisfaction of taking ball in hand any time you felt like it, or just flat out cleaned her clock and kept her off the score board. You didn't, you fell for their ploy and became her bitc# on the table.
That is being a poor sport.

:cool:
 
12310bch said:
palmer54 said:
Hello all, Long time lurker but decided to start posting mainly due to what came up last night. Glad to be here.

a skill level two who I have a long history with. Well, Of course I play horrible, she plays great and gets alot of rolls, and wins.
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A TWO? You let a TWO beat you? Was her stick painted red and white and did she tap it on the table to find her balls? Or did her seeing eye dog help her out? It doesn't matter whether you shook her hand or not. You got beat by a TWO. Nobody gave a rats ass whether you shook her hand or not. They were all trying to figure out how you got beat by aTWO:rotflmao1:
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Yes, I am taking slack about that crap too. First rack I missed a safe on the 4 and she ran out! On 9 foot diamond pro ams! down 7-3 in one inning. She only need 12 balls at that point and I did my typical, nice run-fudge i hung a ball routine-makes it pretty easy to lose to a 2 who can make shots. Yep she beat me, wont be the first person to get a win on me an wont be the last. I wish that was my only issue with this person. As for all the other stuff she did in the past, lets just say she is not a good person and leave it at that.

I do thank all of you for your insight. Crawfish, I wish I could legally get away with such an idea. I think I have learned that no matter the reason I should shake hands with a player. I also still think it wasnt a bad sportsmanship move but could have just made life easier and respect for a game I love to play.

On a side note, This player turned me into the LO of our APA for bad sportsmanship, my LO told her to stop pissing people off. I really am lucky to get to play in a league where the operators are good people.
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