Best pool-related quotes/one-liners

Playing a guy 9-ball, he decided to "ride the money ball", and, as usual, missed. I said, "You rode that sh1t harder than a 2 dollar whore."

That's all I've got.
 
Not pool related but tihis actually happened at a tournament in Buffalo, Oklahoma:
When being hit upon by a (much) younger girl. "I'm sorry but I drink scotch older than you."
 
Opponent rattles a money ball - "Don't worry, Ill get it"
Somebody asks for a spot "Ill get you a puppy from the dog pound, you can call him anything you want"
Chuck
 
Mt. Cheverest said:
A guy at Q masters says this: "He shot me into Bolivia" (he means Oblivion but he always says Bolivia...CLASSIC
Click to expand...

Hey I'm Bolivian!!

My buddy always yells this when his oppenent slops a ball in... "wow what vision!"
When your oppenents ball rattles "call the police you got robbed!" When in fact you know he really just missed.
When your oppenent gives you an extremly easy out or a very easy money ball "hey, I think I know this shot!"
When you slop a ball in three rails and get perfect position "that was the only way to get shape
!"
A quote that's not woofing, "there's two speeds to pool, soft and softer."
"A good player is someone who plays a shot until he can make it, a great player plays it until he can't miss it." I think everyones heard that one.
 
Back in 1995 took Norm PORKY wines to an all black pool hall in WI. three black guys come up to us and say you guys gamble? Porky says why you ask? They say come on now 2 white guys come into a black pol hall and drinking soda.

Porky says yeah I'm looking to gamble 1st black says i'll play you one pocket for $500 porky says i dont play one pocket. next guy says i'll play you banks $500 porky says i dont play banks last guy says i'll play you straight pool for a $1000 porky says i dont play straight pool.

The 1st guy says what do you play.

PORKY with not missing a beat says " I PLAY 9 BALL AND I PLAY DAM GOOD." They would't play. What a great line.:grin-square::grin-square:
 
Two guys are barking at each other about playing.

On the way to the table, I heard one of them say indignently "Post? What do you mean post? I'll have you know I haven't stiffed anybody in two weeks!"

Stones
 
At the Derby a few years ago, Jimmy Mataya was woofing at everyone. While negotiating a game with Tony Chohan he said, "Carry some cash, it ain't heavy"!
 
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