Jigger said:
Mr. Zappa always said, "Don't eat the yellow snow".
I always like this question, because I get to copy and paste my standard "tip answer."
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Tips:
Floss.
Keep your money in your front pocket.
Forget about lamb-skin condoms.
Little girls aren't any easier to raise than little boys.
Homemade pies are better simply because they're baked with love.
Don't throw stones at a man holding a machine gun.
When someone yells "fore" don't stand up to see where he's hit it.
When faced with an offensive shot and a defensive shot with equal
risk/reward, go for the offensive.
Don't believe for one second that German beer is all that. (Though some are)
Treat her like a lady.
"Staying near the center" is sure to deter your progress.
If you need help, ask for it.
Write a will.
Soda water helps to remove mustard stains.
Kirby vacuum cleaners are over-priced.
When aiming banks, don't forget about collision-induced throw.
Drink plenty of fluids.
Learn how to sew.
Read Google Groups.
Do not drive with the Sun Shade in place.
Call your mother once in a while.
Play tournaments.
Given the limited choice, buy two types of glasses: one for red wine, one
for white wine.
People have reported being able to see better with contacts.
Read to your children.
If you lose, don't lose the lesson.
If a guy moves into the passing lane to allow you to enter the highway, have
the decency to let him pass you.
Buy a BCA rulebook. It's a cheap investment.
Buy a meat thermometer. It's a cheap investment.
Buy your wife some flowers. It's a cheap investment.
Clean your shaft with a clean damp cloth once a week. Don't forget to dry
and burnish.
If you haven't yet, try the Magic Eraser.
Plastic disposable cups are not dishwasher safe.
Buy some AccuStats tapes.
Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.
Dunkin' Donuts coffee is hot. Really hot.
Names *can* hurt you.
Tip your wait staff.
Singing a Karaoke song won't kill you.
If you don't know how to use aluminum foil in a microwave oven, then don't try it.
Tournaments and pool halls can be searched at
http://www.playpool.com. (Edit: I don't even know if Playpool.com has a webmaster anymore)
Go to the dentist every 6 months.
Get your hands on InsidePOOL Magazine.
If the shoe fits, buy them.
If you're going to get a fake watch from China, get a Patek Phillippe.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
It's possible to balance the grindstone with the dance floor.
Marily Chambers' videos can be found on Ebay.
Smile. It breaks down walls; it opens doors.
For my money, I'd buy a Toyota.
Make sure your kid isn't the stinky one.
If it ain't funny, it ain't much.
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Fred