Gerry said:
Well, I think I might just take a different tact on this. Yes MOST people play better when thinking possitive and not whinning about anything, BUT one of our sports greatest players EVER did a lot of belly aching and always felt bad or had something wrong......yet beat EVERYONE for many years...Luther "wimpy" Lassitter
Even though I take the more possitive route, maybe your bud can make a carreer out of being negative!
Gerry
So far other posters have hit upon motivation and staying positive. I agree with the motivation, but I will have to side with Gerry here. Telling yourself to be positive just doesn't work and whinning is ok as long as your not making excuses for yourself.
Confidence is an emotion we feel when we anticipate success. When you don't have that success you feel dejected. Motivation can bring your emotional state to a point that losing doesn't hurt so bad and you soon view it as paying your dues -to- soon kicking his ass.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence
By definition confidence is faith or trust in ones abilities. When we shoot we predict/ anticipate an outcome. So what does this player anticipate on his shots? Is he shooting a reasonable shot selection to his abilities? Is he playing his regular patterns? If so, something else is affecting that confidence. Something is affecting his concentration which in turn is pulling down his confidence with it. (I suspect it's social.)
If not, and you see that he takes flyer's or attempts bad patterns which are out of character for his game against this competition then we know the motivation is present. He simply isn't playing his game. To have effective confidence he has to play his plan, use the right tools and he has to know if those tools are adequate for the task at hand.
Lets look at this from a social standpoint. We all know where all players stand relative to each others abilities. We know what their status is. Socially it is all about status. We all care what our status is. He wants to take that next step. But he has to know his skill level and not overstep it's boundaries.
If you are trying to boost his confidence by telling him he is just as good as the players mentioned you might be doing him a disservice. Most pool players have an over inflated perception about their skill level. They base it on their peak performances, not their average performance. We do not suffer from lack of confidence most of the time we suffer from ill-founded confidence.
If he takes your words to heart then he basing his trust in his abilities and the anticipated outcomes too high. The easiest way to lose confidence is to expect something of yourself that is highly unlikely to happen. He has to play within his skill level. He has to be honest with himself of what that skill level is. He has to respect his skill level. That way when he misses he knows that it was an option outside of his skill level but he had no choice but to shoot the shot. The expectations of success do not crumble his confidence.
The more he plays his game at his skill level the confidence will remain. As he plays these upper level players he will learn new tools to slowly step up his play. His status is important, but do not let him think that his status is a reflection on himself as a person. It is a reflection of his skills...
EDIT: I'm not saying you shouldn't compliment his game. Just keep these thought's in mind when you do.
