do we have to win every time?

oldplayer

oldplayer

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
that is what my wife asked me the other night when i returned from a match and had lost. i win most of my matches. in the last few months i have had to go from practicing/playing every day to, now, twice a week. i play in a league twice a week so that's all i get for now. when i lose i frist think about putting all my stuff on ebay and just quit. i'm also grumpy for a day or two and analylizing what went wrong, etc then i think about what made me lose.......like the other night, after mentally reviewing the match, i realized i need to work on my safety play...but the big question is, "do we have to win every time"....we are supposed ot be having fun but then we are a competitive bunch....i depend on the forum guys to help me along, so what is it guys?..
 
The objective should be first and foremost to have fun. It is always more fun to win than to lose, but knowing you are not going to win every time means there should be other ways to enjoy the match. We really do learn from our mistakes, so each match is a chance to learn. You are already analyzing your play; observe what the other players are doing also. I use a loss to fire my game back up, because if a person beats me once, that is the fuel for the fire so he won't beat me again. Also, sometimes the breaks just don't go your way. There's no reason to get down about that.
 
I am curious to hear what the guys here say. I think the answers will vary based on age.

I am 62 and just started a couple of years ago. I understand how you feel because I play in a clubhouse of a retirement community. The guys I play with are mostly in their 70s and 80s. A lot of these guys were really amazing in their day, some still are by my standards.

I see how hard it is for these guys to accept the change. I never was great and never will be and I have to accept that. We manage to have a good time anyway. There are a couple of guys that ruin it for themselves and for the people they play by getting crazy over the change.
 
Old player,

It's ok to lose once in a while. None of us are perfect. If we were, pool would become boring to us as would many other things.

I went from playing 4 or 5 days a week when I was in the Atlanta area myself to playing once or twice week since my transfer to the D.C. area. I've watched my abilities take a drastic downturn.

Sometimes we just get busy and can't dedicate ourselves like we need to.

There's no reason to just give up. Learn to take your lumps like the rest of us. Lol.

League should be fun with a competitive spirit. Yes. You are there to compete and do your job to help your team advance to whatever the next level is but the ultimate purpose for league players is that it provides an outlet for many of us to get out, socialize, and have fun with a plethora of diverse skill levels and people from all walks of life.

Continue to build your network of playing buddies which most of the time is a byproduct of league play and just remember to have fun.

Analyzing is ok but don't over analyze or you'll get in a funk that is hard to come out of and if you think you are frustrated now, you ain't seen anything like the frustration of being paralyzed because of over analyzation. I speak from my own experiences on that. Lol.

It's ok to lose and show that you are human

Best of luck to you.
 
Losing keeps me humble but when i lose i lose with pride im not praticing to much so it can be easy for me to say well im not shooting good cause im not praticing, the guy just made more balls then i could at the time i played him.

In the singles leauge i play in there are only two people that im 0-2 with but they are just flat out better than me.
 
I always win.

Except when I lose but then I only lose cause I need to protect my action.

Easier to get to sleep thinking that way. :)
 
thank you for the replies and support, especially "sixgun".......it is difficult to know that years ago (35) i was very very good (AA)......then laid off a few yrs and just getting it back when praticing daily...now somewhat frustrating not being able to improve my game as much as i would like,,,,,but really "p*****" when i lose....i agree, i need to loosen up and GET SOME SLEEP after i lose a match..thanks guys... i have a match this evening and will go in thinking, "crush the guy"! :eek:
 
Last week on a thread titled "Sore Loser", I really enjoyed a very insightful response by "JoeyA" regarding perspectives in winning and/or losing that may unintentionally have long lasting effects. It caused me to revisit my own need to accept losing as honorably as possible in any given situation. To exhibit sportsmanship at times, for me, has been more than difficult. I grew up being one who refused to accept defeat. I found it necessary to discover as much as I could about the inherent need to win. Some of the reasons made me very uncomfortable but nonetheless gave me a path to more pleasurable interactions in leagues, tournaments, and just routine nights out. As I amended my bad losing ways, I felt relieved from the regret of sometimes being a bad sport and it became easier, as time went on, to realize the impact of the perceived changes I'd made. I don't think I'll ever be a good loser, but I will always make it my goal to achieve a healthy perspective about it.
 
Playing pool is abundantly fun. Winning a game/match is icing on the cake. Winning a game/match AND shooting better than you normally do is a cherry on top of the icing.

If I lose and shoot well, I am okay with it.

If I lose and shoot poorly, I get a bit on the bummed-out side.

If I win but shoot poorly, I have mixed emotions.

Winning is NOT my #1 priority for playing pool.

Maniac (of course, I suck at it anyway)
 
Philosophy

To me losing is just on the scoresheet. My goals when playing (ideal):

0. (get paid)
1. enjoy it.
2. respect others' enjoyment/playing/struggles.
3. play well.
4. win.

I put the first one as #0 because it really shouldn't be there. But it is...:D If I'm putting up money, I'm quite interested in the $ results.

#2 is very useful when playing poorly/losing. You're not alone when you're playing someone! The worst feeling (much like when driving!) is when you give someone every respect and receive none in return.

Those who know me know these are but guidelines, I'm not perfect. I break my own 'rules' constantly, but I try...

-s
 
i quit playing 5 yrs ago (i'm 51 now) because i couldn't play at the level i thought i should. i learned to play in an old school pool room where everyone gambled and only the chumps whined about losing or bragged about winning. when i began playing the most important things were never being thought of as a chump and to do my very best when ever i played and to me that meant winning, so i to went through the same process as u described when i lost. maybe i'm weird, but the whole process was fun. the winning was easy but even losing and the process u described and playing again and hopefully winning. but even if i lost again as long as i went through the process the world was still spinning and that was cool. i quit playing because my physical limitations kept me from walking the walk and for me it was time to put my cue away. i miss it, but for me it was time to not give up the game, but to quit playing. nuff said.
 
Do we? I think that depends on why you play. I think if you ask any pro at a money event they'd say yes, as would the folks that count on their gambling winnings as a substantial part of their income. A road player, they'd probably say no or yes depending on their mind set. If they're working an angle then no, but with a bigger pay off win in the end (sometimes if you lose, you actually win...). The average "regular joe" that might play on league night, like me, well, the object isn't to win first but to have a little recreation. Nights that I go to league and don't play, for me are just as good as those that I do play. Of course, I'd rather win than lose, but more than that I'd rather have a good beer and catch up with friends. When you go out to play pool there are many different ways to win and they're not all at the table.
 
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What is winning?

You lost, but how did you play?

If I play well and still lose then OK
the guy is better than me......
at least for now.

But if I lose because I played poorly
that's something that needs to be
analyzed and corrected. If I lost
because of poor safety play (like what
happened to you) then I work on safety
play until I have corrected every error.

No one wins all the time, no one. In fact
my favorite opponent is a guy who plays
better than I. It is always a tough battle
between us and I enjoy it tremendously,
even when I lose. I just love the fight. I care
about the battle, I want to play well and fight
hard. For me the play is what counts.

I like to win, I don't like to lose but I like a tough
battle more than either. A win over a lesser player
isn't much fun. A win over an equal player is about
the rolls. But a win over a better player is true
victory and is the only score that I really care about.

JMO
 
If possible win the game, the match, session, the tourney. the trophy, the MONEY.

But I agree have fun doing it.
 
When I was a bit younger I enjoyed playing more than I do now. I liked going out to the pool hall and playing with my friends.

Now I have a table at home and I never play anymore. The lack of playing makes me not want to play. It's a self perpetuating thing for me. If I play with my friends who still play everyday I just get beat up and to practice enough to beat them isn't interesting enough anymore.

At some point I realized pool is a game that is dying here in the states and I was wasting my time playing it. It occupied my free time in the past, but I found better things to do then either A) lose or B) waste my life practicing a game that is getting less accessible to play.

I used to be able to drive around within about 60 miles (an hour drive) and play a tournament every day of the week. That stopped being the case and it got harder and harder to find good, fun, entertaining competition. No action in the pool hall, not even friendly local tourney's anymore.

So I moved on to other hobbies and while I still enjoy knockin' balls around on the table once in a great while, the enjoyment doesn't last long when I play so far below the level I once did.
 
I don't have to win if it's scotch doubles, or vs someone who can barely hold a cue. otherwise... yes, we have to :p
 
steev said:
To me losing is just on the scoresheet. My goals when playing (ideal):

0. (get paid)
1. enjoy it.
2. respect others' enjoyment/playing/struggles.
3. play well.
4. win.

I put the first one as #0 because it really shouldn't be there. But it is...:D If I'm putting up money, I'm quite interested in the $ results.

#2 is very useful when playing poorly/losing. You're not alone when you're playing someone! The worst feeling (much like when driving!) is when you give someone every respect and receive none in return.

Those who know me know these are but guidelines, I'm not perfect. I break my own 'rules' constantly, but I try...

-s
Click to expand...

Sounds like a good philosophy to me.
 
I dont get mad if i lose, but i get mad when i lose because of something dumb i did. If my opponent runs the table and i dont get a shot, i'm fine, but if i miss an easy shot and then lose i have an inner conversation with myself...lol
 
Fun --- hell its a war out there. You can either win or have a droopy tail and moan about it all you want. Personally I want to win but if I don't I do not carry it with me. Its usually some stupid mistake, so I live to fight another day. Or sometimes you get out played, shake the guys hand & carry on.

If I ever loose sleep over what transpired its time to quit!

Rod
 
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