Favorite accu-stat commentator quotes

[donny mills]

I've been meaning to post this for a couple weeks and Cali reds thread reminded me to do it. Here are 3 of my favorites that come to mind.

1. Billy Incardona commentating over his match with Tony ellin right has Tony has 3 balls left to shoot for the win of the match "I normally wouldn't make my opponent shoot these but I wanted the full treatment"

2. Billy Incardona normally says this commentating right after a player slops a ball in. "he lost a little dignity shooting that shot but it was a fair trade off"

3. Grady Matthews- "I play pool right handed but I play gin and make love left handed"

 

[Drawman623]

After a player's nasty miscue:

"I think the only sound worse than that is when the wife says 'Grady I've got some papers for you to sign'"

After noting the ever present toothpick chewed by Toby Sweet:

"They'll let Toby have his toothpick or Nick chew his gum, but I can't have my cigarettes... cigarettes are less harmful than marriage and that's all there is to be said for them."

"I dedicate that shot to my dog!"

"That shot is fraught with peril."

 

[SMG]

2011 US Open 9-Ball, Alex Pagulayan vs. Shawn Putnam

I could be wrong but I swear Billy keeps saying PutMAN instead of PutNAM.

 

[sfleinen]

2011 US Open 9-Ball, Alex Pagulayan vs. Shawn Putnam

I could be wrong but I swear Billy keeps saying PutMAN instead of PutNAM.

Along those lines, how about both Mike Sigel and Larry Schwartz -- regardless of the match they're commentating on -- calling Efren, "Efrum."

 

[SMG]

Along those lines, how about both Mike Sigel and Larry Schwartz -- regardless of the match they're commentating on -- calling Efren, "Efrum."

Hahaha. Now that's bad messin' up Efrum's name.

 

[JohnnyOzone]

Grady talking about gettng married for the fourth time:

"If this one doesn't work out, then every five years I'm just going to find a woman I hate and buy her a house."

 

[itsfroze]

Mark Wilson----U.S. Open 9-Ball

An economy of motion
to minimize the exposure
to risk.

Speaking about not moving
the cue ball more than you
have to.

Billy Incardona

That's how Nick gets in stroke
by playing the wedge.

He talks about this in several
one pocket matches with Varner
It's really funny if you have seen
one of these matches where they
get all the balls wedged in one of
the up-table corners between 1st
diamond and 1st diamond

 

[wigglybridge]

Grady, commenting on a 14.1 match between John Schmidt and Thomas Engert, where Engert sold out 4 times on safes: "he seems like a nice enough fellow, but i sure wouldn't want to be betting my Money on him".

 

[MahnaMahna]

Danny D commentating when the shooter misses a tight shot:

"He over slithered that one".

 

[incognito]

Danny Diliberto is my favorite accu-stats commentator. I love some of his lines.

"He played the wrong shot perfectly." The player played a questionable shot and still ran out.

"The hardest stroke to beat is a give up stroke." Sometimes when a player gives up and quits trying to win, he suddenly gets a lot harder to beat.

I never miss a shot from here [the announcer's booth]
That's a sleepin in the streets shot.
He overcut the room rent.
His backer just took a big shot of whiskey after that shot.
His backer flinched after that shot.
That was a Dolly Parton break. All bust and no balls.

I'll have to go back and listen to my accu-stats videos to remember some more.

 

[Jimt]

Still not sure who said: "There touching but there not frozen".

Johnny Archer?
Buddy Hall?

 

[12squared]

Cornbread Red after a shot that was not quite executed properly: "worst shot I ever saw in one-pocket"

Howard Vickery & Nick Varner were commentating a match where one guy was way behind. Nick said he sometimes likes to stretch out those games to get in stroke for the next one (basically conceding the loss). Howard said he never thought about just stretching out the game, he always tried to win the game. Nick said: "well I'm not against winning the game" and then started laughing.

That whole conversation was pretty funny, but hearing Nick really laugh was priceless.

 

[Tommy-D]

One of Grady's was when a player was stretched out over a table,with an odd stance. He mentioned this too,and added "that looks like me preparing to accept an enema" .

Another was during the legendary Bugs/Shannon Daulton 1-p match.

Bugs had ball-in-hand after Shannon scratched. most of the balls were tied up uptable,but there were 3 balls lined up on the spot.

Bugs absolutely crammed the 8 cross-corner,past the rest of the balls including the 3 on the spot.

Grady's response? "Now that's DISGUSTING...:thumbup:"

There are too many of his jabs at Billy,but one that comes to mind was this gem.

"I came in to a poolroom last night and Billy was playing 9-ball with a doctor,a plumber,and an electrician,and had everyone else barred." Tommy D.

 

[Drawman623]

Ribbing Billy in the Toby Sweet/Mizerak match:
"Now do you plan to bust a grape and ply a wager"...or just wait around for some "unsuspecting corporate type."

 

[mudball]

King James after Efren hooked himself (before the almighty Z shot) "He didn't haf tododat." (Translation: He didn't have to do that.)

 

[EL'nino]

Still not sure who said: "There touching but there not frozen".

Johnny Archer?
Buddy Hall?

Buddy said it to Corey

 

[EL'nino]

Danny D & Billy I disagreed on what the player was gonna do next... Danny says "let's bet our moustaches" billy declined the bet... turns out Billy would've won & Danny said "that's the biggest moustach dawgin I ever saw" now that's funny s#@t right there!!!

 

[3andstop]

The two that come to mind for me were actually on the same tape I believe. Earl Strickland playing Johnny Ervolino straight pool.

Billy I. and Danny commentating. Billy says something like Earl is playing good straight pool.

Danny says, "Earl may only think he's playing right, cause if he knew what he didn't know, he wouldn't not know it."

and... Billy asks Danny if Johnny wore glasses, Danny says something like, "I dunno, I don't think he could afford them. Even if he had 20 thousand in his pocket I don't think he'd get an eye exam cause he wouldn't want to waste good gambling money."

 

[EL'nino]

I put this in another thread but it's worth saying twice.... Grady once said the "Cardona's head is shaped perfectly for one pocket".

 

[metallicane]

Grady, commenting on a 14.1 match between John Schmidt and Thomas Engert, where Engert sold out 4 times on safes: "he seems like a nice enough fellow, but i sure wouldn't want to be betting my Money on him".

priceless.