Funnier than S#%$

[!Smorgass Bored]

I'm Never Too Busy To Help Someone

Once upon a time at Planet 9 Ball, they had a promotion going on where you got 1 Free hour of pool if you had lunch there (from their kitchen). Two guys walk in and order lunch and I tell them that they also get a Free hour of pool.

They look at each other and then at me and say that neither one of them has EVER held a cue or played a game of pool, so I escorted them to the front desk and since the deskman was absent, I handed them two cues (no chalk) and a tray of Centennials and told them to follow me.

I took them over to the 5'x10' snooker table and told them that it was the Free table for the Lunch/Pool Special. Have fun, I said as I strolled away. They called me over about 40 minutes later and told me that pool was NO fun and that they hadn't made a single ball the entire time. They said, "what should we do now ?" I told them, "that's what the bar is there for."

Doug

 

[SJDinPHX]

I know it's hard to believe, but my wife doesn't like pool. She doesn't hate it, she just thinks never pays it no attention. She says I'm a pool "geek", whatever that is.

Anyway, years ago, I was watching an Accu-Stats tape of Efren Reyes vs Grady Mathews in a ONE POCKET match. She walks in the room, stands there for about 2 minutes watching them and never says a word. Then she says "These guys are terrible! They can't even make a ball!" and walks out of the room.....

Don't want to teach your better half any new words, but mine,
(especially after an all night game)refers to me as a pool "degenerate"
Dick

PS tracked pkg. Due there mon...UPS

 

[Terry Ardeno]

I'll call to confirm it's arrival. Thanks!

 

[dbankjr]

Last week my son and I were at a local pool hall when a couple came in (you could tell it was probably a first date). The guy was telling this girl how good he was while he reached for the fairly new cone of chalk off the wall and and ran his cue through the big hole gettin it slicked up and then proceeded to chalk up his cue with it. It's not as funny as some of the others but ya had to be there to appreciate it.

 

[eaglesfan44]

While playing 3 cushion one night a couple of bangers approached the table and informed me that the table had no pockets. I told them that I knew that and they wanted to know how it was possible to make a ball.

I showed them the cut out in the slate under the rails at the corner and told them that if a ball hit exactly in the corner the the rails would separate and the ball would fall in the pocket.

They stood and watched for several minutes before becoming bored and returned to banging balls on their own table. They weren't having any better success shooting balls in the hole than I was. lol

Steve

LOL! Man that is hilarious. How dense can some people be? Ha ha Too funny.

 

[eaglesfan44]

The desk guy told the new pool players, "any table you want." We watched as they went over to table 2, racked, broke and took several shots before they figured out that table 2 had no pockets.

Speaking of newbies, the other day a group of bangers included a grotesquely tall player -- maybe 6'2" -- and a couple of times he got down on his knees to first sight and then shoot the shot. Maybe he learned to play when he was a lot shorter. (For the locals -- I'm pretty sure he was a Stanford student.)

Since when is 6'2" grotesquely tall? Ha ha funny story.

 

[Bob Jewett]

Since when is 6'2" grotesquely tall? ...

Since I never made it past 5'8" .

 

[Ken_4fun]

I was thinking something like that...

That must have happend back in the 70s...

I havent seen any in such a long time I dont even think I could measure.....


ken

 

[Ken_4fun]

True

How about the kid who gets drilled by a good player and on the way out the door tells his buddies "He wasn't that good, he didn't make a tough shot the whole time".

Yea kid, it was just an accident that the cue ball was landing right where it needed to be. Come back when you and you buddies get some more cash.

The best player in the town I live in has a pro level player. In his hayday he was pretty sport to say the least.

HE IS THE MOST BORING GUY TO WATCH...for those who cannot appreciate him getting almost perfect position every freaking time.....

Ken

 

[iba7467]

we are better at pool.

I went to a college with a sub-standard basketball team. I wanted to play our best player for some $$$, but I figured I would do it the easy way. I got him to play some pool for no cash. He lost quick and pulled up embarassed at how bad I made him look. I acted like I didn't know who the guy was and asked if there was anything he thought he could beat me at. He said he would play me some basketball. When I said, "Let me go get some shoes out of the car" I think his heart nearly jumped out his chest.

I told him I wanted to get the ball first playing make-it-take-it since he was 6" taller than me. One of the other players had been with him the whole time, and by now had gotten most of the rest of the team to come watch. Our basketball game started and the guy never touched the ball. I shot 100%. After I beat him, he didn't have the money.

I punked him in front of the whole team and told him he could have one chance to get even on a free roll. I gave him first ball and never played defense. The whole time I told him he better not miss and let me touch the ball or it was over. The guy drove hard to the basket everytime and went for a layup while I stood at the 3-point line dogging him. It was worth every penny (not much $ anyway). The guy ended up being Conference Player of the Year. From then on if I saw him and asked him if he wanted to bet, his only response was, "Hell no, not on anything."