Funnier than S#%$

sde said:
While playing 3 cushion one night a couple of bangers approached the table and informed me that the table had no pockets. ...
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The desk guy told the new pool players, "any table you want." We watched as they went over to table 2, racked, broke and took several shots before they figured out that table 2 had no pockets.

Speaking of newbies, the other day a group of bangers included a grotesquely tall player -- maybe 6'2" -- and a couple of times he got down on his knees to first sight and then shoot the shot. Maybe he learned to play when he was a lot shorter. (For the locals -- I'm pretty sure he was a Stanford student.)
 
sde said:
Again while playing 3 cushion a young girl was sitting quietly watching the game.

During the course of the game a shot was missed by the smallest of margins and the comment, "I missed that by a 'C' hair!" was made.

The young girl sat there for a moment with a puzzled look on her face before saying, "It was way closer than that, mine are about 4 inches long."

Steve
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That must have happend back in the 70s...
 
sde said:
Again while playing 3 cushion a young girl was sitting quietly watching the game.

During the course of the game a shot was missed by the smallest of margins and the comment, "I missed that by a 'C' hair!" was made.

The young girl sat there for a moment with a puzzled look on her face before saying, "It was way closer than that, mine are about 4 inches long."

Steve
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If there was ANY way to prove it, I'd be willing to bet that never really happened.

It was a great story, though... :D :D :D

Russ
 
I live in a college town and a lot of the kids that come into my hall have never been exposed to anything other than banger bar box 8 ball. I have some all time favorites.

10. Racking the pool balls on the snooker (yes, 12 foot) english snooker table.
9. Racking nine ball in order 1,23,495,67,8 and then laughing at the guys who "don't" know how to rack.
8. Calling ball in hand sissy and then intentionally scratching to leave the guy to shoot into the kitchen.
7. Playing pool, and breaking, with one of the house snooker cues... makes me nuts.
6. Scoop jumps, nuff said.
5. Grabing a rack from the bar and walking over to the coin opp tables. Dumping the entire rack on the table and starting to shoot.... love it.
4. Sitting on, laying on, or using the table for a foot rest. I think one of the guys down their said it best; used to be the manager, "Get the F&*K off my tables.
3. Borrowing a cue out of a cue claw or leaning on a wall, obviously a nice cue owned by someone, and getting ticked when the owner calls you out for walking off with his equipment.
2. Players who don't want to take the advice the oldtimers have to offer but still want to play them. Case in point. Older player, who can shoot, is trying to explain what a good break shot is in 14.1. Younger player calls the left corner ball in the bottom left corner pocket and smashes the rack. Then looks at the oldtimer who feels like he has just wasted 20 minutes of his quickly evaporating life and says, " Usually goes." Oldtimer stops wanting to play anyone younger than 40 unless he's getting action because he thinks no one cares about the game anymore, who can blame him.
1. Drunk kids who like to come to the room to play with their 10 friends and get upset after the players at the surounding tables have asked them to move out of the way more than two or three times. Oh and that table is always host to the guy that thinks he owns the 30 square foot around his table and seems to enjoy leaning on your table. It is amaizing how accuratly i can get a ball off of the table.

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to get it out there.
 
You would lose

Russ Chewning said:
If there was ANY way to prove it, I'd be willing to bet that never really happened.

It was a great story, though... :D :D :D

Russ
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If I remember correctly curlyscues was there.

Steve
 
Jallan said:
... and seems to enjoy leaning on your table. It is amazing how accurately I can get a ball off of the table. ...
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Where I learned to play (at college), there were twin brothers, Alvin and Alan. "Mean Al" (the other was "Nice Al") was good at launching cue balls at spectators who bothered him, and on a bet managed to nail the clock that was hung high on the wall of the rec center.
 
A buddy and I are playing ping=pong, in walk two kids asking if we want to play doubles for some money, about 20 min later, we are up 100, when one of the kids yells, we are better at pool. :D :D

I thought mom warns this kids about pool halls. LOL
 
i have seen this happen several times over the years, but one realy stands out,

this long hair rock star looking guy comes into the poolroom all geeked up on something, the leather pants, sleeves cut off with skinny arms, he was walking up and down the room it was about a 24 table room, this was in 88 when the hair bands were the thing, he had 2 real hot looking girls with him, he was all fired up got the balls the girls had the drinks, he went and got 3 cues off the wall, he was going to each cue rack and rolling the cues looking for good ones and he took a bit longerthen 5 minutes to find the cues, went over to the girls who were sitting down by their table waiting for him, when he walked up he started showing the girls how to hold the cue, this took about 3 or 4 minutes with the girls, the took the balls and flipped the tray over BAM!!!! right on the table trying to get all the balls to lay in a 4X4 pattern but that didnt work th balls went flying everywhere, he took the chalk and showed the girls how to chalk their cues by holding the chalk tight up to the tip and roll the butt of the cue with his foot(thats how I chalk my Szam),

by this time 15 minutes had past, he racked the balls and whacked them, he started fireing balls and after about 10 shots he noticed it didnt have pockets-it was a billiards table, he walked around the table about 3 times, he was so geeked up on speed and he was just checking to be sure the pockets were missing.

We were on the oppsite side of the room playing snooker, my friend and I watched the wholething, it took about 15 minutes from start to finish, man that was funny. there just happened to be a rack there, we thought for sure he was gonna figure it out when he was gonna rack the balls, but when there just happened to be a rack there we caught a break and the comedy continued. i did see people do that a few times there that explains why the rack was there.
 
I knew we'd get some funny ones. I once saw the guy get the rack of balls from behind the bar and walked towards the bartables. I said, "Hey dude, those are barboxes, you know coin-ops." "I know what I'm doing. It'll be easier for her to make a ball. I'm giving her lessons." He proceeds to take his girl over to the barboxes and rack'em up.
 
curlyscues said:
She even held out her hand to show the length between her thumb and forefinger.

M.C.
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Was this some sort of wierd come-on? The way he wrote it, it seemed like she dead-panned the statement like she was stone-cold serious.

Russ
 
pooljunkie4ever said:
A buddy and I are playing ping=pong, in walk two kids asking if we want to play doubles for some money, about 20 min later, we are up 100, when one of the kids yells, we are better at pool. :D :D ...
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Which is similar to a story that George Rood tells about when he was young (IIRC). George was a natural athlete to the extent that he played even nine ball with Lassiter in his prime and was an Olympic-level swimmer in high school. He also ran 128 balls when he was 88. One time when he was about 19-20 he went over to a neighboring town to play a challenge pool match. He beat the local pretty good. The locals wanted some more action, but not at pool. George proposed horseshoes, which he wasn't very good at. The locals figured he was, so they countered with a swimming contest.
 
Serious

Russ Chewning said:
Was this some sort of wierd come-on? Thae way he wrote it, it seemed like she dead-panned the statement like she was stone-cold serious.

Russ
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Yes she was absolutely serious. And that is why I thought it was so funny.

There were a couple of others watching the game and we were all LOAO.

Steve
 
How about the kid who gets drilled by a good player and on the way out the door tells his buddies "He wasn't that good, he didn't make a tough shot the whole time".

Yea kid, it was just an accident that the cue ball was landing right where it needed to be. Come back when you and you buddies get some more cash.
 
Well not quite as good as your 1p story, but I took my lovley wife to her 1st pool tourny at the WAGON WHEEL in atlanta years ago andwe were watching BUDDY HALL play. and i made the statment he really shoots good doesent he, she reblied, he should all his shots are straight in!!! hu hu,ha ha love her though!!!!YES SHE 'BLOND'
 
stick8 said:
Well not quite as good as your 1p story, but I took my lovley wife to her 1st pool tourny at the WAGON WHEEL in atlanta years ago andwe were watching BUDDY HALL play. and i made the statment he really shoots good doesent he, she reblied, he should all his shots are straight in!!! hu hu,ha ha love her though!!!!YES SHE 'BLOND'
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That reminds me of a time when I owned a bar and had two 9 foot brunswicks in there, My dad (RIP) was playing some guy 9ball for some cash and after my dad was whipping him pretty good for the cash , The man got pi**ed off and quit cause he said the cueball was always giving him a bad shot, and my dad was the luckiest man alive! that he ever played, cause the cueball always left him a straight in shot! Duh!:D
 
Balls Don't Go

In my room in Davie, Fl. I had a 6 x 12 snooker table that had been shimed up for "golf". A snooker ball would only go into the pockets if it was exactly striaght in, so a pool ball would not fit into the pockets at all. Not even the side pockets.

One night this guy comes in with his date and wants a table. I explain that there is a waiting list and it will be a while. He points at the "golf" table and says "We will take that one." I tell him that that particular table is very diffucult to play on and maybe he should wait for another table to open up. He snapped back with, "I'm really good, so it won't matter". After that remark I couldn't resist, so I handed him a tray of pool balls and told him to have fun.

After fifteen minutes everyone at the bar had fallen off their stools laughing at this guy banging balls at pockets way too small for the balls to go into. But apparently this guy was determined to impress his date. He continued to bang balls into the rails for a full fourty-five minutes before finally putting them in the tray and heading to the counter. He was unaware that everyone at the bar had been watching him, so with as striaght a face as I could muster, I asked him, "How'd you play?". Two more patrons fell off their stools when he answered, "pretty good".
 
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