Funny Nick Varner story.

bfdlad

bfdlad

T-Wheels
Silver Member
For those who don't know Nick, he can be quite funny but you have to pay attention and listen as you never know when a classic is gonna come..

I was just thinking back and remembered this story he told me. It goes like this.

Nick and I are just sitting around and he is in deep thought. I ask what he is thinking about and in his Kentucky slow rolling voice explains.

I always wanted a pair of really nice cowboy boots, I have always been saving for the future, staring my business, putting my kids though school and never really gone all out and treated myself to those cowboy boots. Well about a month ago I passed a fancy cowboy boot store and decided to look around and see if anything caught my attention. Well, I found a pair of boots that were everything I have always wanted. Now they were expensive but I crossed off a spot off of my bucket list.
I was so happy I didn't even have them boxed up I just decided to wear them home and show them off.

When I got home my wife was already in bed reading and so I walked through the bedroom, back and forth. With a John Wayne swagger and stopped and asked my wife "Well, you notice anything different??" She peered over her book and shrugged her shoulders 'No why?"
Nick carries on, Well I wanted her to notice the boots and admire them and since she wasn't paying any attention I went to the extreme. I went into the bathroom and got totally naked all except my Fancy boots. I walked back into the bedroom and exclaimed 'Well You notice anything different now??" Again she peers over her book and says 'Nah, it's just pointing down like it always does" Nick Replies 'WELL, ITS PROBABLY POINTING AT MY NEW BOOTS" His wife again looks over her book and says "You should have bought a hat"

Just a classic from my old buddy that I thought I would share.
 
bfdlad said:
For those who don't know Nick, he can be quite funny but you have to pay attention and listen as you never know when a classic is gonna come..

I was just thinking back and remembered this story he told me. It goes like this.

Nick and I are just sitting around and he is in deep thought. I ask what he is thinking about and in his Kentucky slow rolling voice explains.

I always wanted a pair of really nice cowboy boots, I have always been saving for the future, staring my business, putting my kids though school and never really gone all out and treated myself to those cowboy boots. Well about a month ago I passed a fancy cowboy boot store and decided to look around and see if anything caught my attention. Well, I found a pair of boots that were everything I have always wanted. Now they were expensive but I crossed off a spot off of my bucket list.
I was so happy I didn't even have them boxed up I just decided to wear them home and show them off.

When I got home my wife was already in bed reading and so I walked through the bedroom, back and forth. With a John Wayne swagger and stopped and asked my wife "Well, you notice anything different??" She peered over her book and shrugged her shoulders 'No why?"
Nick carries on, Well I wanted her to notice the boots and admire them and since she wasn't paying any attention I went to the extreme. I went into the bathroom and got totally naked all except my Fancy boots. I walked back into the bedroom and exclaimed 'Well You notice anything different now??" Again she peers over her book and says 'Nah, it's just pointing down like it always does" Nick Replies 'WELL, ITS PROBABLY POINTING AT MY NEW BOOTS" His wife again looks over her book and says "You should have bought a hat"

Just a classic from my old buddy that I thought I would share.
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hahaha and I can hear Nick's voice as I read that. Very funny
 
Speaking as a former amateur comedian myself, I think that was a great story bfdlad. Well done. :thumbup:
 
Good one Mark.

On ABR you should tell the story of you, Earl, and the stray cat!
 
bfdlad said:
For those who don't know Nick, he can be quite funny but you have to pay attention and listen as you never know when a classic is gonna come..

I was just thinking back and remembered this story he told me. It goes like this.

Nick and I are just sitting around and he is in deep thought. I ask what he is thinking about and in his Kentucky slow rolling voice explains.

I always wanted a pair of really nice cowboy boots, I have always been saving for the future, staring my business, putting my kids though school and never really gone all out and treated myself to those cowboy boots. Well about a month ago I passed a fancy cowboy boot store and decided to look around and see if anything caught my attention. Well, I found a pair of boots that were everything I have always wanted. Now they were expensive but I crossed off a spot off of my bucket list.
I was so happy I didn't even have them boxed up I just decided to wear them home and show them off.

When I got home my wife was already in bed reading and so I walked through the bedroom, back and forth. With a John Wayne swagger and stopped and asked my wife "Well, you notice anything different??" She peered over her book and shrugged her shoulders 'No why?"
Nick carries on, Well I wanted her to notice the boots and admire them and since she wasn't paying any attention I went to the extreme. I went into the bathroom and got totally naked all except my Fancy boots. I walked back into the bedroom and exclaimed 'Well You notice anything different now??" Again she peers over her book and says 'Nah, it's just pointing down like it always does" Nick Replies 'WELL, ITS PROBABLY POINTING AT MY NEW BOOTS" His wife again looks over her book and says "You should have bought a hat"

Just a classic from my old buddy that I thought I would share.
Click to expand...


That's a funny frickin' story! Thanks
 
Very cool Mark. I love a good Nick story.

Nick comes out to do a clinic every year here for a group of people from our league. We pay $30, get to play him in a closed room races to 3, and listen to him tell stories. He has a way of telling stories that can have your in stitches. Honestly it's the best part of the day. His Buddy Hall and Grady stories are priceless.

And for anyone who thinks he doesn't have much left in the tank, think again. We played on a 10ft table, and I don't think Nick lost a match last year. Granted it was race to 3, but you would think he would lose a least a couple out of 24ish matches. Lots of strong players, but not a chance. This was a table he spent 15 min. on prior to starting.

And at one point he made 6 balls on the break, looks at the table and says well this won't take long.....LOL.

And the real kicker was, he almost didn't make it. He had to stop at a hospital on his way up. His back was so messed up, and he could hardly walk. He spent probably 5 hrs with us, and barely sat the whole time.... Incredible.
 
Tooler said:
Very cool Mark. I love a good Nick story.

Nick comes out to do a clinic every year here for a group of people from our league. We pay $30, get to play him in a closed room races to 3, and listen to him tell stories. He has a way of telling stories that can have your in stitches. Honestly it's the best part of the day. His Buddy Hall and Grady stories are priceless.

And for anyone who thinks he doesn't have much left in the tank, think again. We played on a 10ft table, and I don't think Nick lost a match last year. Granted it was race to 3, but you would think he would lose a least a couple out of 24ish matches. Lots of strong players, but not a chance. This was a table he spent 15 min. on prior to starting.

And at one point he made 6 balls on the break, looks at the table and says well this won't take long.....LOL.

And the real kicker was, he almost didn't make it. He had to stop at a hospital on his way up. His back was so messed up, and he could hardly walk. He spent probably 5 hrs with us, and barely sat the whole time.... Incredible.
Click to expand...

First of all thanks for the laugh Mark.

Yes, not surprisingly Nick has game. Not long ago Nick was in Denver whooping up on guys like Chip Compton and Joey Gray.
 
A great Nick Varner story I heard from an old schooler in Wisconsin was when he ran a rack of 9-ball with a Coke bottle =P
 
Great story and well written sir, thanks. But shouldn't we give kudos to Nick's wife? She is the one that delivered the punch line.

Wearing hats from now on :)

Dave
 
I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. Just remember the next time you see nick at a trade show, exhibition or even a tourney and he is wearing ten gallon hat, you will all know why :)
 
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