JesPiddlin said:
Go poke a fishing hook in someone and make them have to go to the hospital to get it taken out. THat's funny, isn't it?
This thread has really upset me. I was enjoying it and looked forward to the laughter it brought me. I think I'll take a break from it for a while. It's lost it's funny.
It's funny you say that...
... about 2 years ago my friend had a friend who had a stocked fishing pond on his farm. HUUUGE bass in there - and they loved the powerbait lizards.... or Gitzzits.
So my friend Shane is wearing sweat pants and I'm wearing cargo shorts and we get there and begin to rig our lines. We're there for only 3 mins before the hook he's rigging hooks the fibers in his sweat pants.
....
Before I go any further with the story, as to make sure you guys get the full effect, Shane is a master, wizard, pro tour, guru, knows-everything-about-everything, when it comes to fishing. He's the friend that tells you he got 20 the other day and when you go with him he gets 3 (like the rest of us). When you go trout fishing on opening day, his biggest one is ALWAYS bigger than your biggest one (even though they're identical - or your little trout def has the best of it). I'm just a loser fisherman who never gets anything and I've gone only 10x in my entire life.
So, back to my story....
The hook catches his sweat pants and he starts f-ing with it for a few minutes. Next thing ya know.....*WHAP* I break the jaw off my first monster bass. Now, mind you, I could have just reeled it in but I REALLY played it up....struggling....let it take out some slack just to FIGHT it back in...the whole nine yards just to rub it in Shane's face. Huge bass...I release it.
By now, Shane was REALLY aggravated. He just couldn't get the hook out. Just as I said, "Hey Shane...why don't you release some slack and...."
*WHIP* *WHACK* (ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH)
Shane loses his temper and tries to "force" the hook out and it tears through his sweats and hook LODGES into the palm of his hand - on the pad beneath his thumb--- right into the meaty part...and DEEP.
I run over to Shane to make sure he's OK and his ego won't allow him to panic or cry or do anything that a pro-fisherman wouldn't do. I told him he should really go to a doctor - it didn't look good. He pulled it out to the point where a little bit of muscle popped through the skin --- and he wanted me to cut it with a pocket knife.
"No f-ing way," I said. NO WAAAAAAAAY!
Anyways, I knew I had to take advantage of this so I walked back to my spot, threw the lizard back in ...... and..... *WHAP*
"FISH ON!!! FISH ON!!!!"
Once again, I really play it up, like I'm landing a lunker. I acted like I didn't wanna break my line...so I had to take my time (LOL, I prob had like 10 lb test on or something ridiculous).
Threw the lizard out a third time...a few twitches....*WHAP*
"FISH ON! YEAH!!! FISH ON!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO!! YEAH BABY!!! YEAH!!!"
Shane was soooooooooooooo enraged, he pulled the hook with pliers SO hard he tore through his hand and wrapped it up.
I couldn't stop laughing. I almost had a heart attack from laughing. He fished one-handed and eventually caught 3 as well.
Sorry for the long post, but IT IS FUUNNN-NAAAAAY when people hook themselves!!!!!!!!!!! I'm having a flashblack and giggling from typing this.
Dave
