The Tree Man
Funny pic/gif thread...
- Thread starter dfweyer
- Start date
Move your cursor over the screen (left, right , up ,down) and you will have the impression that you are flying over the mountains. Pretty cool.
http://www.electricoyster.com/electric3d/index.html
Slow to load when I tried it.
http://www.electricoyster.com/electric3d/index.html
Slow to load when I tried it.
Proof that the Detroit school system works!
Proof that the Detroit school system works!
This is an actual picture of a Burger King in Detroit.
Proof that the Detroit school system works!
This is an actual picture of a Burger King in Detroit.
Steeler Fans
Little johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children
what their father did for a living. All the typical answer came up fireman,
policeman, salesman, etc. Little johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and
so the teacher asked him about his father. Little johnny said "my
father's a exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in
front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out to
the alley w/ some guy and make love w/ him for money." The teacher,
obviously shaken by the statement, hurriedly sent the other children to work on
some coloring, and took little Johnny aside to ask " Is that really true
about your father?" "No" said Little Johnny " He coaches
the BALTIMORE RAVENS FOOTBALL TEAM, but i was too embarrassed to say that in
front of the other kids.
Lets go steelers
HERE WE GO, STEELERS, HERE WE GO!
HERE WE COME, TAMPA, HERE WE COME!
Little johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children
what their father did for a living. All the typical answer came up fireman,
policeman, salesman, etc. Little johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and
so the teacher asked him about his father. Little johnny said "my
father's a exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in
front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out to
the alley w/ some guy and make love w/ him for money." The teacher,
obviously shaken by the statement, hurriedly sent the other children to work on
some coloring, and took little Johnny aside to ask " Is that really true
about your father?" "No" said Little Johnny " He coaches
the BALTIMORE RAVENS FOOTBALL TEAM, but i was too embarrassed to say that in
front of the other kids.
Lets go steelers
HERE WE GO, STEELERS, HERE WE GO!
HERE WE COME, TAMPA, HERE WE COME!
Kevin Lindstrom said:
Oh Boo, Kevin. Boo!
I hope the Ravens' D outscores the Steelers.!!!
oke:
Black-Balled said:Oh Boo, Kevin. Boo!
I hope the Ravens' D outscores the Steelers.!!!
Truth be told I am an Eagles fan. I guess that is appropriate for this thread.
Kevin
BEER GOGGLES....
Darwin Awards---Removed form the gene pool
And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees.. The
Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid
manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
This years nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: ( San Jose Mercury News):
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a
former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: ( Kalamazoo Gazette):
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in
March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck."
Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.
Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns
"wrapped in the drive shaft.."
Nominee No. 3: ( Hickory Daily Record):
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in
December in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone
beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &
Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear. (For
whatever reason, residents of Southern states always seem to figure
prominently among the Darwin nominees.)
Nominee No. 4: (UPI, Toronto ):
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a
downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and
plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39,
fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening
as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength
according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm
Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the
best and brightest" (ed note:????) members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird):
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He
had spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a
murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set,
he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: (The Indianapolis Star):
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in
Dunkirk , IN. AJay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to check the
barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in
his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in
his parents rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was
cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He
was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: (Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ):
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death.
Stefan Macko, 55, was s tanding on a wheelchair when the accident
occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that
the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: ( Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road
and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after
midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38,
of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an
overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The
two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned
out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again
began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward
the White River Bridge . After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just
before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and
struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the
pavement, and striking a tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions
from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage
to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a
broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on
that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead,"
stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but
this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how
this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia
( Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck??? (Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of
their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it
can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the
gene pool.)
And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees.. The
Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid
manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
This years nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: ( San Jose Mercury News):
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a
former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: ( Kalamazoo Gazette):
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in
March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck."
Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung
underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.
Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns
"wrapped in the drive shaft.."
Nominee No. 3: ( Hickory Daily Record):
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in
December in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone
beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &
Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear. (For
whatever reason, residents of Southern states always seem to figure
prominently among the Darwin nominees.)
Nominee No. 4: (UPI, Toronto ):
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a
downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and
plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39,
fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening
as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength
according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm
Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the
best and brightest" (ed note:????) members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird):
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He
had spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a
murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set,
he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: (The Indianapolis Star):
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in
Dunkirk , IN. AJay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to check the
barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in
his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in
his parents rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was
cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He
was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: (Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ):
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death.
Stefan Macko, 55, was s tanding on a wheelchair when the accident
occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that
the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: ( Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road
and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after
midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38,
of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an
overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The
two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned
out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again
began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward
the White River Bridge . After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just
before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and
struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the
pavement, and striking a tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions
from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage
to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a
broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on
that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead,"
stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but
this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how
this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia
( Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck??? (Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of
their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it
can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the
gene pool.)
Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.)
Remember, this is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far a$$ kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+1 4+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and A$$ kissing that will put you over the top.
Remember, this is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far a$$ kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+1 4+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and A$$ kissing that will put you over the top.
Financial Planning
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, He decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, He decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Attachments
IMPRESSIVE...
