In answer to the girls post
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:
1 Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1 Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1 Crying is blackmail.
1 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
1 Subtle hints do not work!
1 Strong hints do not work!
1 Obvious hints do not work!
1 JUST SAY IT!
1 ?Yes? and ?No? are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1 If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
1 Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1 Captain Cook did not need directions and neither do we
1 ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
1 Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1 We have no idea what mauve is.
1 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
? Sex,
? Sport, or
? Cars
1 You have enough clothes
1 You have too many shoes
1 I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1 Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
1 couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:
1 Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1 Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1 Crying is blackmail.
1 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
1 Subtle hints do not work!
1 Strong hints do not work!
1 Obvious hints do not work!
1 JUST SAY IT!
1 ?Yes? and ?No? are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1 If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
1 Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1 Captain Cook did not need directions and neither do we
1 ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
1 Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1 We have no idea what mauve is.
1 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
? Sex,
? Sport, or
? Cars
1 You have enough clothes
1 You have too many shoes
1 I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1 Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
1 couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education
