Funny pic/gif thread...
- Thread starter dfweyer
- Start date
When letters are rearranged, Part II:
William Shakespeare = I'll make a wise phrase
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort
The Apple Macintosh = Machines apt to help
The eyes = They see
Barbie doll = Liberal bod
Waitress = A stew, Sir?
Guinness draught = naughtiness drug
Breasts = Bra sets
The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice
Western Union = No Wire Unsent
Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans
Clothespins = So Let's Pinch
Spice Girls = Pig Slices
David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free
The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom
Astronomer = moon starer
Astronomers = No more stars
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
Baseball = Babes All
Conversation = Voices Rant On
Christmas = Trims cash
Why do you care? = Hey you coward!
Debit card = Bad Credit
Shower time = where moist
Narcissism = Man's crisis
Darling I love you = Avoiding our yell
The Country Side = No City Dust Here
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Saddam Hussain = Humans sad side
A Gentleman = Elegant Man
A telescope = To see place
Elvis = lives
The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil
Schoolmaster = The classroom
A shoplifter = has to pilfer
Listen = silent
A Domesticated Animal = Docile, as a Man Tamed it
Garbage Man = Bag Manager
William Shakespeare = I'll make a wise phrase
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort
The Apple Macintosh = Machines apt to help
The eyes = They see
Barbie doll = Liberal bod
Waitress = A stew, Sir?
Guinness draught = naughtiness drug
Breasts = Bra sets
The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice
Western Union = No Wire Unsent
Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans
Clothespins = So Let's Pinch
Spice Girls = Pig Slices
David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free
The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom
Astronomer = moon starer
Astronomers = No more stars
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
Baseball = Babes All
Conversation = Voices Rant On
Christmas = Trims cash
Why do you care? = Hey you coward!
Debit card = Bad Credit
Shower time = where moist
Narcissism = Man's crisis
Darling I love you = Avoiding our yell
The Country Side = No City Dust Here
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Saddam Hussain = Humans sad side
A Gentleman = Elegant Man
A telescope = To see place
Elvis = lives
The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil
Schoolmaster = The classroom
A shoplifter = has to pilfer
Listen = silent
A Domesticated Animal = Docile, as a Man Tamed it
Garbage Man = Bag Manager
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The awesome power of a wife's love
The awesome power of a wife's love
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left his world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral."
The awesome power of a wife's love
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left his world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral."
I see your racecar and raise you one redivider !
Best Genie joke ever!
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'
Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'
You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.
The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'No Kidding,' he said.
'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'
Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'
You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.
The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'No Kidding,' he said.
'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'
dude you have to stop looking at cycling porn at work
Man on a Road Bike Escapes from Police Chase!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS_0puMJ1gQ&feature=related
