Funny pic/gif thread...
- Thread starter dfweyer
- Start date
O........M............G!!!!!!!!
http://www.mommyish.com/2014/09/23/mom-bakes-vagina-cookies-for-second-graders/
http://www.mommyish.com/2014/09/23/mom-bakes-vagina-cookies-for-second-graders/
thanks for posting this as I am so old I almost forgot what one looked like! :sorry:
One could assume that second graders recognize a vagina and have been taught that it is - choose any or all, or suggest additional descriptions:
Ugly
Evil
Dirty
Obscene
thus justifying the adults reactions.
Or one could assume that the second graders haven't a clue and would only be concerned with the taste and the funny designs of the icing, and learned the lesson for the day that adults are idiots.
Very nice Clits she put on them just the same.
According to most women, men don't know how to find them. So this could have been considered a teaching aid.
For the rest, they were just Little Men in Sail Boats.
According to most women, men don't know how to find them. So this could have been considered a teaching aid.
For the rest, they were just Little Men in Sail Boats.
:thumbup2:
A couple of us were.
A buddy filled a little Gerber's baby food jar with fire crackers, leaving a fuse exposed through a little hole in the lid. Did the John Wayne grenade toss...his timing was off a little.
Good news: didn't lose a finger.
Bad news: despite bloody hand, his Mom whipped him good
But other ill fated adventures continued...
I can assume that your ill fated adventures may have included the use of salt Peter and a powdered charcoal mixture with a fuse?
Those were really dangerous. Specially in larger pickle jars. Talk about shrapnel.
Not per se Blue Hog...I'm thinking we couldn't hang with your crew.
In the interest of avoiding mayhem..Imma not gonna ask for details.
Piss poor
Where did "Piss Poor" come from? Interesting history.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot.
And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery...
if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...
They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500's
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
Could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt.. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing..
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
�Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.
This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status..
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,
and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days..
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; �holding a wake."
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had ben burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
�saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer."
And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said history was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone!
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
"What the heck happened?"
We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
Smile, it gives your face something to do!
Where did "Piss Poor" come from? Interesting history.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot.
And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery...
if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...
They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500's
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
Could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt.. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing..
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
�Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.
This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status..
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,
and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days..
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; �holding a wake."
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had ben burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
�saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer."
And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said history was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone!
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
"What the heck happened?"
We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
Smile, it gives your face something to do!
Seeing how I worked in a couple of Funeral Homes, I will share a couple of traditions with you.
In the old country, people thought that evil spirits hovered around the dead, waiting to enter their body.
Holding a Wake around the body was to protect it from the Spirits.
When a soldier is buried and is entitled to a Gun Salute. The soldiers always aim the rifles over top of the casket.
This to also ward off any spirits that may be hanging around. They may no longer do this these days but at one time they did and that is why. When my Father was buried, they did not enter the main burial ground with their rifles. There may have been reason for not. 3 Soldiers stood outside the main entrance and fired 3 rounds each. My Father was a Corporal and entitled to three rather than 12.
At a Jewish Funeral, people were coming up and leaving money as an offering in the casket. An old Jewish man walked up, took all of the money, counted it, then wrote a check for the total amount and left it in the casket.
In the old country, people thought that evil spirits hovered around the dead, waiting to enter their body.
Holding a Wake around the body was to protect it from the Spirits.
When a soldier is buried and is entitled to a Gun Salute. The soldiers always aim the rifles over top of the casket.
This to also ward off any spirits that may be hanging around. They may no longer do this these days but at one time they did and that is why. When my Father was buried, they did not enter the main burial ground with their rifles. There may have been reason for not. 3 Soldiers stood outside the main entrance and fired 3 rounds each. My Father was a Corporal and entitled to three rather than 12.
At a Jewish Funeral, people were coming up and leaving money as an offering in the casket. An old Jewish man walked up, took all of the money, counted it, then wrote a check for the total amount and left it in the casket.
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Business Opportunity
Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the roof.:grin-square:
Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the roof.:grin-square:
Betcha can't read this without crossing your legs...
“Bust your balls”
Definition: A slang term which can refer to a form of punishment, working hard, or being harassed or teased.
Origin: Believe it or not, the term actually comes from literally busting the balls of a calf. Rather than cutting them off or chemically sterilizing them, a method was developed to literally break a calf’s testicles to turn them from a bull to a steer. Thankfully, only the figurative version is used by humans.
“Bust your balls”
Definition: A slang term which can refer to a form of punishment, working hard, or being harassed or teased.
Origin: Believe it or not, the term actually comes from literally busting the balls of a calf. Rather than cutting them off or chemically sterilizing them, a method was developed to literally break a calf’s testicles to turn them from a bull to a steer. Thankfully, only the figurative version is used by humans.
