Funny thing that you heard

I was in Pat Mckernan's cue shop one day, and he said, check these out. They were the two cases made for the movie The Color of Money. He had to make two because one was tossed down the stairs in the film. He got payed $865 each for the cases. It was great to see them in the movie.
 
heard in a pool hall.......

.....to somebody who was saying he "needed the 8" in a nine-ball game;

.."what you really need is a heart transplant....."
 
I overheard:

"Call Dr. Laura, she can help you."

Don't really have a clue what the conversation was about, but I
thought it was funnier than hell.
 
I was shooting around one night when the guys on the next table started arguing a shot. They asked me what I thought and set it up on my table.

The first guy, a big slob of a man that smelled like a cat just pissed on him, took the shot. I know this guy because he shoots in the APA (I know, I know) and he claims to be the best around. (he is a SL4) The OB was frozen dead center on the head rail, the CB was directly in front of it (towards the spot) and was about 1/8 inch away. He pushed through, clearly hitting the CB more than once.

I told him that was a foul.

He followed that up with, "It's not a foul. You ask any pro. They'll tell you."

I answered with, "I'll ask Jimmy Marino, he will tell you." as Jimmy was working the counter that night.

He followed that up with, "Who the hell is Jimmy Marino?"
 
Two times in my life, I played a little money shoot, and a girl would say, if you win the tournament, you win me for the night, I'm happy nobody out played me both times.:D VERRRY NICE.

Well...Given the fact that rock star groupies are often not the most attractive specimens of humanity, and rock stars make millions of dollars per year, I shudder to think about what your "pool groupies" must have looked like.

For some reason, I'm picturing chicks who look like Carrot Top's mom. :D

(I hope it was worth the green seepage)
 
Well...Given the fact that rock star groupies are often not the most attractive specimens of humanity, and rock stars make millions of dollars per year, I shudder to think about what your "pool groupies" must have looked like.

For some reason, I'm picturing chicks who look like Carrot Top's mom. :D

(I hope it was worth the green seepage)

Skin and boney,lol.
 
A budy of mine and I were hitting some balls one Saturday and he made the statement that "I think we should go on the road" to which a old guy that had been watching stated "you guys better like sardines and crackers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner".
 
A bunch of us from work went down to the pool hall after work one day. There was this one girl that I worked with that wasn't really blessed with brains, anyhow it was her turn at the table and while she was playing against me I asked her,

"So Nikki, what are you studying in college?"

She says, " I'm going to teach the learning disabled"

Now I have a bad habit of saying whatever comes to my mind out loud and I said,

"Blind leading the blind, eh?" (slightly joking)

And she looks right at me with a straight face and says,

"Oh no, Chris, they're not blind, they're learning disabled"!

She literally had no idea what she just said and I for once was at a complete loss for words!

Now that is some funny stuff:rotflmao:
 
I've posted this one before.
Again because it is so absurd that it is funny.

One player who also happens to be one of the biggest BSers I have ever crossed paths with tells people that he pays $300 for his cue tips.

They are Milk Duds but the guy who makes them for him presses them multiple times over a period of 6 months if I remember the time period correctly.

He also plays with a Predator sneaky with a steel joint. They can be had for $347. He also tells people that its worth $1500.

He has played Earl Strickland and beat him. I can't figure out when that might have happened as he seldom leaves the bar long enuff to do much more than work and then come back to guzzle beer.
 
A guy walked in the bar once, and the guy standing next to me said, here comes my ATM.
 
Im playing pool with a buddy a while back and theres a little boy of about 9 practicing on the table next to us.

My buddy calls the 8 in the corner pocket and misses it badly and it end up going in the side instead. He yells "Ouch! wrong hole"

and without missing a beat the kid looks up and real seriously goes "Thats what she said" then goes back to shooting lmao :grin:
 
Im playing pool with a buddy a while back and theres a little boy of about 9 practicing on the table next to us.

My buddy calls the 8 in the corner pocket and misses it badly and it end up going in the side instead. He yells "Ouch! wrong hole"

and without missing a beat the kid looks up and real seriously goes "Thats what she said" then goes back to shooting lmao :grin:

That kids been around the block,lol.
 
I was running a small Straight Pool tournament, race to 50.
Sending off an old-timer vs a promising youngster for a interesting battle. About 20 mins later they came back and handed me the scorecard. I looked at it and saw, "50-1" and at the same time I heard the Old-Timer say, "But you played good". :)
 
I was running a small Straight Pool tournament, race to 50.
Sending off an old-timer vs a promising youngster for a interesting battle. About 20 mins later they came back and handed me the scorecard. I looked at it and saw, "50-1" and at the same time I heard the Old-Timer say, "But you played good". :)

One good anyway,lol.
 
Insights...

When an up and coming young wanna-be hustler asked a well seasoned player for some honest advice the older and wiser stated this: "Take that beautiful new cue and sell it as soon as possible...then go buy a tennis racket or a nice set of golf clubs and practice hard...ya just might make somethin' of yourself son."

I once asked John Fresno for a spot to play for a couple hundred a set at 9-ball. He replied with: "Sam, I can't give ya no weight...I aint got none of your money in my pocket!" RIP John, you were an honor to be around.

Some oldies:

You've got a heart the size of a mustard seed!

If your scared, go wait in the truck.

You can play any game...for any amount...on any table...for the rest of your life...'cause you flat out can't WIN! :p
 
Was watching a scotch doubles match, Jamie's partner was tanking every shot or if he made a shot he would hook him. Finally Jamie goes over to this guy at the next table who cant even bridge right and ask him if he can spell POOL..."you know like the game youre playing, pool..." The guy looks confused but says yeah, p-o-o-l. Jamie says, "great, your'e more qualified than this no shooting SOB to be my partner, it's your shot!!"
:rotflmao:
 
When an up and coming young wanna-be hustler asked a well seasoned player for some honest advice the older and wiser stated this: "Take that beautiful new cue and sell it as soon as possible...then go buy a tennis racket or a nice set of golf clubs and practice hard...ya just might make somethin' of yourself son."

I once asked John Fresno for a spot to play for a couple hundred a set at 9-ball. He replied with: "Sam, I can't give ya no weight...I aint got none of your money in my pocket!" RIP John, you were an honor to be around.

Some oldies:

You've got a heart the size of a mustard seed!

If your scared, go wait in the truck.

You can play any game...for any amount...on any table...for the rest of your life...'cause you flat out can't WIN! :p
Very true, all the way around.
 
Was watching a scotch doubles match, Jamie's partner was tanking every shot or if he made a shot he would hook him. Finally Jamie goes over to this guy at the next table who cant even bridge right and ask him if he can spell POOL..."you know like the game youre playing, pool..." The guy looks confused but says yeah, p-o-o-l. Jamie says, "great, your'e more qualified than this no shooting SOB to be my partner, it's your shot!!"
:rotflmao:

He spelled it wrong, it's pool, not p-o-o-l. LOL.
 
Back
Top