Funny Things Said to You at the Pool Room

lfigueroa

lfigueroa

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
So I'm playing 1pocket with a guy of Eastern European descent today -- he's been living in the States forever but still has that Teddy KGB accent.

We've played many times before. And at one point mid-session I put him in a particularly grievous situation. He's got no escape, balls around my hole, basically a totally ugly position for him.

He stares at the table for a while, looks at it from various angles, and then walks up to me and quietly asks, "So, Lou. When you were at the Pentagon, were you one of those Black Ops guys who tortured guys down in the basement?"

It was so unexpected, and delivered with his accent just so, I had to bust out laughing.

Lou Figueroa
 
Well, OK, but what was your answer? 🤫

A friend from Texas had sayings, as Texans do. After I played a bad position shot, "You brung it, you dance with it." After I shot and missed a clumsy stretch shot: "You're as graceful as a monkey [having his way with] a football." He may have been the one with the rented mule, too.

A peculiar response from a senior player that may have had some other meaning: "I can't play, I just ate a peach."
 
I was playing pool with a visitor to New York City who had grown up on a farm in the Midwest USA. The table we played on had very loose pockets, and he looked at me and said "man, these pockets are like bushel baskets." I'd never heard loose pockets described that way before and I laughed and laughed.
 
Years ago, Eddie The Knoxville Bear came through and played Fat Harold some bank pool. Eddie beat him outta $700. Harold Dollar looked at his Stake Horse and said "Who WAS that masked Man?" Still amusing us old timers who heard it!
 
I think I might've posted this before in another thread, but many years ago this new guy came into our room looking for a game. We ended up playing some small stakes 9 ball, and I busted him in maybe a little over an hour. He might've won 3 games tops. When he was unscrewing he said "It was great playing somebody of my own caliber for a change!"
 
At the old Guys & Dolls in Silver Hill MD, there was a notorious locksmith named Murphy, always recognizable in his wifebeater and always looking for the nuts. None of the regulars would ever play him, since he was always asking for ridiculous spots and half the time was playing on ass, but one day a half sloshed stranger started playing him 9 ball at 5 dollars a pop, even up.

This guy could barely even hit the object ball, let alone run a rack, and he quickly donated over 10 straight games. Murphy then tried to lay down a little, but he couldn't lose for trying, until finally the guy made a 4 rail shit shot to win his first game.

So what does Murphy do? Flips the guy his fin, unscrews his cue, says "TOO MUCH SEE-SAW", and heads for the nearest bar. I've had that moment in my mind ever since. You couldn't help but love a guy like that. 🇺🇸
 
I think the funniest thing I saw though was I used to cover my own tables. I was in the process of covering a table and I hadn't put the rails back on yet it was just the green cloth.

A group come in and got a rack of balls and went over to that table and put the balls on the table and began to rack them up and we're all watching wondering if they're going to actually break this rack.

Then one of them looks around and says, I guess he was the smartest of the group, we can't play on this table I think this is a snooker table.
It would have been hilarious if they broke and the balls went all over the room.
 
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One day while knocking balls around at Magoos(tulsa) i noticed a guy and his girlfriend on another table. He was racking the balls at the wrong end, not on the spot. I went over said hi and told him. He came back with, " I play eastern pool." I said ohhhhh-k and had to walk up to the counter so i could laugh my ass off. We laughed about that for months. eastern pool, wtf.
 
9BallKY said:
to your place for that game”. It was about 50 miles away
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Who got the lesson?
Did he need the 8 And the breaks? 😉
My opener was, "I pay for lessons." Followed by, "Of course I charge for them too." 🤷‍♂️
My favorite lesson at 20 per hour was....."you don't play good enough to give weight." 🤷‍♂️ Backward Jan taught me well. 👍
 
garczar said:
wrong
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Well the 2 young men with dates came into the pool room. Sounds like a joke. 🤷‍♂️
So anyway with more than a dozen pool tables of the whole spectrum from 7 to 10 foot, no wait there was 1 10 foot Diamond (My table). It was adjacent the 10 foot snooker then the Billiards table.
So them wantin' to impress the young ladies. They picked the biggest one. Well they first set the balls on the Billiards table and shopped the wall for cues. Giggles 🤭 I stopped my practice for the show.
Well the girls noticed first. (Of course 😉 ). Well they moved to the snooker table next. 🤷‍♂️
Being an Ambassador to the game. I gently explained the difficulty of the table and especially with oversize balls. "I respect the skills that You must possess to select such a challenge. Perhaps an easier table would be better for the girls. THEM being New to pool and all."
 
cuban joey came into our room once and had the line on the two players that he could beat out of a few thousand or more. they werent around.

he asked for people to play and i didnt know him so as always take one or two barrels at any comer. 20 a game 6 ball. 1960's time line.
so we played and i could beat most all new faces and knew good road players would stall for awhile.
so i got ahead a few games and he had to come out of his shell so i quit him winners. he said"you cant do that". i said "that is risk being a road player". later years we becomes so called friendly;

so after that he was putting on his why cant i get a game thing. so we got the black guy janitor who was out in the bowling alley.
he got 5 pockets to one on the 9 and joey didnt know he could play as well as him. after he started running out and out playing him on the nine. joey yelled out "who is this guy anyway".

staten island who sent him in didn't think of including info on the janitor who really no one there ever had seen him play.
 
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