I agree, i would nt have it any other way.
Girlfriend wants me to stop playing pool
- Thread starter JustinHayes
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I agree, i would nt have it any other way.
I dated a girl for about 4 years, she was a gorgeous blonde who was loyal and hard working. I was doing my thing and being successful and stopped doing everything just to be with this girl and win her over because she was the girl everyone wanted but could not get the time of day.
I finally got her and started playing pool for fun when we would be out at bars, I found I played better then most of the guys and liked the competition, fun and gambling too. I decided to get a job managing a pool hall just to be around it so I worked there every night 7-Close because I was obsessed and still am with the game.
The owner of the poolroom said to me "What will you do if she makes you choose between her and the game?" I told him "I would choose the game." and I am glad when it all came down to it that I did because she ended up getting fat and ugly anyways!
P.S. Just kidding about the fat and ugly part but we did go different ways because our lifestyles were so different, me going out every night gambling on poker and playing pool was not working for her and her being a square was not working for me. My girl now has known me half my life and accepts me for who I am and what I want to do with little problems, relationships you need to compromise somewhat and make sure to communicate.
I finally got her and started playing pool for fun when we would be out at bars, I found I played better then most of the guys and liked the competition, fun and gambling too. I decided to get a job managing a pool hall just to be around it so I worked there every night 7-Close because I was obsessed and still am with the game.
The owner of the poolroom said to me "What will you do if she makes you choose between her and the game?" I told him "I would choose the game." and I am glad when it all came down to it that I did because she ended up getting fat and ugly anyways!
P.S. Just kidding about the fat and ugly part but we did go different ways because our lifestyles were so different, me going out every night gambling on poker and playing pool was not working for her and her being a square was not working for me. My girl now has known me half my life and accepts me for who I am and what I want to do with little problems, relationships you need to compromise somewhat and make sure to communicate.
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Sounds like me
I went through this.
My first wife put up with it for 17 years. I can't help it. I have to be there 5 or 6 nights a weeks, either playing or sweating it. Thank God my kids turned out good. The problem is my wife resented it the whole time.
Now I am old and have have a hot young girlfriend and just got home from playing pool. I know this one one won't last (it's been 4 years) but you know what my kids love playing pool and so do I.
Good luck:wink:
I went through this.
My first wife put up with it for 17 years. I can't help it. I have to be there 5 or 6 nights a weeks, either playing or sweating it. Thank God my kids turned out good. The problem is my wife resented it the whole time.
Now I am old and have have a hot young girlfriend and just got home from playing pool. I know this one one won't last (it's been 4 years) but you know what my kids love playing pool and so do I.
Good luck:wink:
First off, how old is this girl? Take a stand before it gets worse. If you put your foot down and she leaves, then you know it wasn't meant to be. Don't make the mistake of giving up something you love doing for a woman that would never do the same for you! I dated a girl for three years that never understood me. She tried very hard after about 2 years to make me quit, and I did cut it way back. I gave in to her, which was the biggest waste of my time. I got rid of her, and did nothing but play pool for months! It was great!! Now, I am lucky enough to have a woman that completely understands that pool is a big part of my life. We are not married, but we are having our first kid together soon, and she is still cool with it. Ya just have to get lucky! I feel like my girl is one in a million.
I say weight the pros and cons of this girl, and then figure out if she is what you really want. If she is, put your foot down, and see what happens. If she leaves, she leaves. There is always one in a million out there somewhere! There is a right girl for each of us!
I say weight the pros and cons of this girl, and then figure out if she is what you really want. If she is, put your foot down, and see what happens. If she leaves, she leaves. There is always one in a million out there somewhere! There is a right girl for each of us!
As I started reading this thread, I began to formulate what I wanted to say in reply. Neil pretty much summed it all up, better than I would have.
If you are "in love" with this girl, you have to make some serious decisions. "In Love" as opposed to "in lust" or whatever. You are right to not want her to try and "change" you. That would be a killer now, or later, and it will wreck a relationship. But her not wanting you to be out 6 nights a week doesn't seem like she is trying to "change" you. She sounds like she might want to see you once in a while.
If you move in with her and her child, you are committing to being a "family". No, you weren't the donor who produced the child, but if you are living with the child and the childs mother, you are now a family. The child is expecting that. You and mom aren't simply boyfriend and girlfriend any more. You might think that way, but the child will not. And it is not fair to the child if you aren't committed to being a family.
Shacking up with a girl is all well and good, been there and done that. In that case, you can play hard ball and say that you're gonna do what you're gonna do. But if you are a "family", you have to compromise. DO NOT give up playing, you do need some "you" time. But 6 nights a week is not reasonable for a family with a small child. When will you see each other, one day a week, maybe? Sometimes at supper, or breakfast?
As others have said, SLOW DOWN, don't jump into anything. Talk it all out, and be ready to compromise on pool, and many other things as well. She will need to be ready to compromise, as well. You are accepting her and her child as part of the deal, so she probably already realizes this. If you truly love her, you will be willing to compromise. If you aren't willing to compromise, then you don't really love her.
I only started playing pool on a regular basis last year. With my job, I was away from home too much as it is. My kids are 15 and 12 now, and are quite busy with their own things, and my wife is doing a bit more of her own thing than she used to. So I started playing league one night a week, and getting another regular night in over the weekends, if everything else is under control. Occasionally I'll get in a third night, if the wife is out doing something. And yes, I have the bug and want to play more. The club I belong to wants to start a 9-ball team (we have none currently) and I'm quite tempted. But that means more time away, so I have to be careful with that. I understand "the bug" of wanting to play more.
But family means the most. You are starting a family if you move in with her. What does that mean to you?
Good luck.
If you are "in love" with this girl, you have to make some serious decisions. "In Love" as opposed to "in lust" or whatever. You are right to not want her to try and "change" you. That would be a killer now, or later, and it will wreck a relationship. But her not wanting you to be out 6 nights a week doesn't seem like she is trying to "change" you. She sounds like she might want to see you once in a while.
If you move in with her and her child, you are committing to being a "family". No, you weren't the donor who produced the child, but if you are living with the child and the childs mother, you are now a family. The child is expecting that. You and mom aren't simply boyfriend and girlfriend any more. You might think that way, but the child will not. And it is not fair to the child if you aren't committed to being a family.
Shacking up with a girl is all well and good, been there and done that. In that case, you can play hard ball and say that you're gonna do what you're gonna do. But if you are a "family", you have to compromise. DO NOT give up playing, you do need some "you" time. But 6 nights a week is not reasonable for a family with a small child. When will you see each other, one day a week, maybe? Sometimes at supper, or breakfast?
As others have said, SLOW DOWN, don't jump into anything. Talk it all out, and be ready to compromise on pool, and many other things as well. She will need to be ready to compromise, as well. You are accepting her and her child as part of the deal, so she probably already realizes this. If you truly love her, you will be willing to compromise. If you aren't willing to compromise, then you don't really love her.
I only started playing pool on a regular basis last year. With my job, I was away from home too much as it is. My kids are 15 and 12 now, and are quite busy with their own things, and my wife is doing a bit more of her own thing than she used to. So I started playing league one night a week, and getting another regular night in over the weekends, if everything else is under control. Occasionally I'll get in a third night, if the wife is out doing something. And yes, I have the bug and want to play more. The club I belong to wants to start a 9-ball team (we have none currently) and I'm quite tempted. But that means more time away, so I have to be careful with that. I understand "the bug" of wanting to play more.
But family means the most. You are starting a family if you move in with her. What does that mean to you?
Good luck.
hdgis1
New member
If you have no plans on becoming a pro and you suck....it's a hobby. I find it kind of funny one would face the possibility of giving up on love for a game. To each their own though!
You could print out all the posts here that you find pertinent, give em to her and ask which applies best to this situation 
) and go from there. But pool league every night is a sign...not a good one. Now playing and gambling every night is a whole different animal, especially if your constantly improving.
) and go from there. But pool league every night is a sign...not a good one. Now playing and gambling every night is a whole different animal, especially if your constantly improving.
anybody do any math?
According to my admittedly redneck cyphering, you haven't spent enough actual time with her to get past the in heat stage and really know her. I think you should give up pool, . . . for a month. Once you both really get to know each other you may find out you don't like each other anyway!
Everybody remembering the child involved has made excellent points. In my opinion you have two options, cut back pool to two or three nights a week maximum, maybe two nights a week and one or occasionally two multi-day tournaments a month, or realize you aren't daddy material at this time in your life. You may never be. However, it isn't fair to children or society to jerk them up by the ears.
If you, and by this I mean all of us, aren't willing to take the time to be a parent don't make babies. When my son started taking out girls I pointed out to him that in today's society you aren't making a lifetime commitment to a girl you get pregnant but you are making at least an eighteen year commitment to the child. The same is true when a person steps into a ready made family. The children don't deserve a different "daddy" every few months or every few years. There is a lot of difference in stepping into a relationship with a woman and stepping into one with a woman and child. Think, and be sure you know which head you are thinking with!!
Hu
According to my admittedly redneck cyphering, you haven't spent enough actual time with her to get past the in heat stage and really know her. I think you should give up pool, . . . for a month. Once you both really get to know each other you may find out you don't like each other anyway!
Everybody remembering the child involved has made excellent points. In my opinion you have two options, cut back pool to two or three nights a week maximum, maybe two nights a week and one or occasionally two multi-day tournaments a month, or realize you aren't daddy material at this time in your life. You may never be. However, it isn't fair to children or society to jerk them up by the ears.
If you, and by this I mean all of us, aren't willing to take the time to be a parent don't make babies. When my son started taking out girls I pointed out to him that in today's society you aren't making a lifetime commitment to a girl you get pregnant but you are making at least an eighteen year commitment to the child. The same is true when a person steps into a ready made family. The children don't deserve a different "daddy" every few months or every few years. There is a lot of difference in stepping into a relationship with a woman and stepping into one with a woman and child. Think, and be sure you know which head you are thinking with!!
Hu
AMEN.
Its like when you show her kid to do something cute, say like when mommy is on the phone, have the kid give her a wet willie. Then every time after that the kid wants to give wet willie to everyone who is on the phone, and it becomes a bad habbit to break.
You give in once, she will have you by the balls and know she can break you and force you to give up something, or do something else you normally wouldnt do.
If she cant accept you for who you are, get rid of her before you get too deep.
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If she isnt willing to compromise, then you shouldnt...
She knew how you were about pool from the get go. So she SHOULD understand despite the fact that you arent that great at it ( YET ) that it's your passion, it's what you love, it's what drives you, that she shouldn't be asking you to change your habits about something you are so into. Let's say your girl was a dancer that took classes for it and did shows but she wasnt a professional in any way, she just LOVED to dance..you would never tell her, hey enough of that cuz you need to be with me more often. The way I see it, this is an issue for her cuz she doesnt have the luxury of focusing her time on a passion becasue of the fact that she has a child and is now playing mommy, and THAT alone is taking up all her time. Odds are, if she didnt have the kid, she wouldnt be complaining at all. And thats HER responsibility not yours. I understand you wanna be a part of the kids life but she shouldnt be factoring in that you need to give up your time in pool to spend more time being with her and taking care of HER kid. I've had only one relationship where the woman had a kid and when I did sacrifice a lot of my time to spend with her and her kid ( my choice ), she got upset with me and told me that I shouldnt be altering my goals in life becasue of her and her kid, that that was HER responsibility not mine. And I appreciated that. If she truly loves you, then you and your life with pool won't be an issue.
She knew how you were about pool from the get go. So she SHOULD understand despite the fact that you arent that great at it ( YET ) that it's your passion, it's what you love, it's what drives you, that she shouldn't be asking you to change your habits about something you are so into. Let's say your girl was a dancer that took classes for it and did shows but she wasnt a professional in any way, she just LOVED to dance..you would never tell her, hey enough of that cuz you need to be with me more often. The way I see it, this is an issue for her cuz she doesnt have the luxury of focusing her time on a passion becasue of the fact that she has a child and is now playing mommy, and THAT alone is taking up all her time. Odds are, if she didnt have the kid, she wouldnt be complaining at all. And thats HER responsibility not yours. I understand you wanna be a part of the kids life but she shouldnt be factoring in that you need to give up your time in pool to spend more time being with her and taking care of HER kid. I've had only one relationship where the woman had a kid and when I did sacrifice a lot of my time to spend with her and her kid ( my choice ), she got upset with me and told me that I shouldnt be altering my goals in life becasue of her and her kid, that that was HER responsibility not mine. And I appreciated that. If she truly loves you, then you and your life with pool won't be an issue.
I know what to do... we can solve this thread and another at the same time. Become a pro gay pool player. nuff said!
Damn, there's a shit load of responses here!
I read and appreciate them all...even the ones that were half-joking.
She doesn't hate pool, she just wants me to be with her and the little one, I know that. ... but we both know that pool is "the problem" (her words)
I think you guys are right in saying that I ... both... need to hold my ground and not give in..... BUT ... also compromise and cut down the amount and nights a week.
I played a tourny Saturday (won), played leauge monday and last night... and I have a (apa) tri-cup tourny on this Saturday. ... I know that is still a lot of pool but I'll skip the cash tourny that is tonight.
2-3 nights a week sounds fine to me, I guess.
(BTW, more info, ... I'm 36 and have been married before to the mother of my 18yr old and 15 yr old [married 15-yrs].... the 15 yr old lives with me and goes to pool with me... he's a pretty decent shot and he's addicted too.)
I read and appreciate them all...even the ones that were half-joking.
She doesn't hate pool, she just wants me to be with her and the little one, I know that. ... but we both know that pool is "the problem" (her words)
I think you guys are right in saying that I ... both... need to hold my ground and not give in..... BUT ... also compromise and cut down the amount and nights a week.
I played a tourny Saturday (won), played leauge monday and last night... and I have a (apa) tri-cup tourny on this Saturday. ... I know that is still a lot of pool but I'll skip the cash tourny that is tonight.
2-3 nights a week sounds fine to me, I guess.
(BTW, more info, ... I'm 36 and have been married before to the mother of my 18yr old and 15 yr old [married 15-yrs].... the 15 yr old lives with me and goes to pool with me... he's a pretty decent shot and he's addicted too.)
See the problem here is. If you give in a cut back now a year from now she will be *****ing about the 2-3 days a week you both agreed to cut back to and want you to still quit playing. IMO don't move in together unless she can live with the real YOU. Period. It will only cause strain on the relationship and you two will end up apart in the end. Take it from someone that has been there done that.
My Ex wife had issues with me even hanging out with my friends. Once a week was too much in her eyes. Not to mention if I wanted to go shoot some pool or go have a few drinks.
Here is my story with my wife.
When we started dating there are a few things you don’t get any say in. I asked her if she was cool with that. She said yeah, what are they.
#1, my car, the mustang is mine it stays!
#2, my pool, I play pool. Deal with it!
#3, my cues, refer too #2!
That was it, so she still married me and it’s been great!
She even paid for a few cues and cases!
Find one who lets you be you!
Good Luck
When we started dating there are a few things you don’t get any say in. I asked her if she was cool with that. She said yeah, what are they.
#1, my car, the mustang is mine it stays!
#2, my pool, I play pool. Deal with it!
#3, my cues, refer too #2!
That was it, so she still married me and it’s been great!
She even paid for a few cues and cases!
Find one who lets you be you!
Good Luck
hate to use this again but: "negative Ghostrider the pattern is full!", get out while you can! you knew who you were when you met, if she wants to change you against your will, then she doesn't really want YOU!
Jeremy
Jeremy