How do you act, when you lose?
- Thread starter 8onthebreak
- Start date
I once lost a match to a young player that I should have beaten easily. I was very disapointed in myself but was determined to be a gentleman and congratulate him and wish him luck. When I went to shake his hand, he was so thrilled to have won that he..........HUGGED ME!!!!
That should make some guys start thinking
Nice posting!
Never missed myself shaking hands. No matter if i won or lost.
It s all about respect..and even if an opponent would be the greatest idiot on earth.....especially then i wouldn t give such a clown munition to talk about me.
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This sums it up for me. Last weekend I was so pissed off to lose two times in a mini tournament. First guy I should of beaten. 2nd set my buddy bought me in and I had to play him. Last time we went hill hill like we should. That time he whooped me 5-0. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I've been working on it but if I don't shoot how I should I feel the same way as the guy I quoted.
When I lose but play well, I have no problems. I'm smiling, joking, talking about the match etc. Last night was one of those. I lost but every game was close and I was playing very well, I just made a couple bad shots at critical times.
When I lose and play poorly I'll still smile, shake hands and say "good game" and mean it all, but I don't want to talk to anyone for a while. And the reason for that is that I'm running over the match in my head, thinking about what I was doing wrong, shots I missed (should I have done something else?), did the table conditions affect me (I'm not good enough to adjust very well), etc. I don't want to talk because I don't want all this pouring out, making it look like I'm making excuses. I need/want some time to process it before I'm ready to talk. (And yeah, I also need some time to calm down.)
When I lose and play poorly I'll still smile, shake hands and say "good game" and mean it all, but I don't want to talk to anyone for a while. And the reason for that is that I'm running over the match in my head, thinking about what I was doing wrong, shots I missed (should I have done something else?), did the table conditions affect me (I'm not good enough to adjust very well), etc. I don't want to talk because I don't want all this pouring out, making it look like I'm making excuses. I need/want some time to process it before I'm ready to talk. (And yeah, I also need some time to calm down.)
I am usually able to keep my cool, I can only think of one time I really lost it and it haunted me for years and still does from time to time, but usually I try to take a queue from my cat, whatever happens was exactly what I meant to happen. Unless the other player has been an ass I'll always approach to shake hands, but by that same token there are times I've refused to shake hands win or lose. In a serious match (including league night) I'll never try to shark an opponent, but if the match has been contentious and the attitude has been angry, I'll never lower myself during the match and be rude or unsportsmanlike, but if it would just be to big a farce, win or lose I won't shake hands. Keep in mind that being intense and competitive is different than being a jerk and rude. In general when I lose I'll always offer congratulations and a smile, especially to a lower rated player. I try to nurture the interest they may have and I make no excuses and I will sometime comment on how well they played, not critically, but more like, "wow, you were awesome" or "gee, you made some great shots".
Typically I'm a very good sport, but really, no one likes to lose, so inside, where it counts, it does piss me off some.
Typically I'm a very good sport, but really, no one likes to lose, so inside, where it counts, it does piss me off some.
i feel the frustration
Good posts folks.
Remember that your opponent will react to your anger or poor sportsmanship in different ways.
e.g., "Never play them again" or "jerk". They might also let everyone around know how you acted.
What I fear is the opponent who can sense my frustration or anger and capitalize on it. It usually starts with a miss or two. Maybe you start to inspect your tip or have to go slick down your shaft. Anything to find something to blame the result on, that sort of thing.
Many of my opponents will get verbal after a miss. They'll talk to whitey or the table or their team members or me. This really gives me a shot in the arm and makes me want to seize the moment and finish them. The players that never say anything and just get down to business usually get the best results when all else is close to being equal.
I hear what a lot of you are saying about "should have won or beaten that person". I'm not sure that I agree. Seriously last weekend I beat a guy who had no business whatsoever losing to me. No real issues with rolls or anything, he just wasn't playing position like he usually does. He also missed at times when he had chances to close me out. Had he won I would have definitely known that it was my poor play that got me the loss.
I am an APA 6 and try not to let my opponent know what is happening in my head if we are wagering, but I'm usually more open about things in league play. It's just for fun and good practice.
As far as being upset after a loss or angry. For me it's rare, but I assign that to my lack of desire to win lately more than superior sportsmanship. I still think there are a lot more important things than winning or losing.
Good posts folks.
Remember that your opponent will react to your anger or poor sportsmanship in different ways.
e.g., "Never play them again" or "jerk". They might also let everyone around know how you acted.
What I fear is the opponent who can sense my frustration or anger and capitalize on it. It usually starts with a miss or two. Maybe you start to inspect your tip or have to go slick down your shaft. Anything to find something to blame the result on, that sort of thing.
Many of my opponents will get verbal after a miss. They'll talk to whitey or the table or their team members or me. This really gives me a shot in the arm and makes me want to seize the moment and finish them. The players that never say anything and just get down to business usually get the best results when all else is close to being equal.
I hear what a lot of you are saying about "should have won or beaten that person". I'm not sure that I agree. Seriously last weekend I beat a guy who had no business whatsoever losing to me. No real issues with rolls or anything, he just wasn't playing position like he usually does. He also missed at times when he had chances to close me out. Had he won I would have definitely known that it was my poor play that got me the loss.
I am an APA 6 and try not to let my opponent know what is happening in my head if we are wagering, but I'm usually more open about things in league play. It's just for fun and good practice.
As far as being upset after a loss or angry. For me it's rare, but I assign that to my lack of desire to win lately more than superior sportsmanship. I still think there are a lot more important things than winning or losing.
When a game starts, I don't tell my opponent "good luck" or anything like that. It's not because I'm not a good sportsman, it's because I'm honest. Everyone I compete against knows that I hope they don't even get a shot on the table, let alone have a decent run or beat me.
If I win, I shake their hand and thank them for the game.
If I lose, I shake their hand, thank them for the game, and congratulate them on beating me even though I played my best.
Basically, it doesn't matter if I'm playing lights out or if I can't make 2 balls in a row that day, I still give it 100%. If I get a single shot at the table and lose, my opponent played better than I did. If they break and run, they not only shot well, they also lagged better than I did. As far as I'm concerned, to imply that it was the equipment or the weather or a bad day at work or whatever that caused me to lose is to disrespect my opponent.
If I win, I shake their hand and thank them for the game.
If I lose, I shake their hand, thank them for the game, and congratulate them on beating me even though I played my best.
Basically, it doesn't matter if I'm playing lights out or if I can't make 2 balls in a row that day, I still give it 100%. If I get a single shot at the table and lose, my opponent played better than I did. If they break and run, they not only shot well, they also lagged better than I did. As far as I'm concerned, to imply that it was the equipment or the weather or a bad day at work or whatever that caused me to lose is to disrespect my opponent.
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I utilize this as co-captain. I've come to understand which opponents on other teams particularly dislike shooting against one of our members and make sure I play them against them when I can. Its probably wrong but then its probably wrong that they get bent out of shape over playing a particular person too.
I love those guys that miscue or miss the shot and the first thing they do is pull that tip right up to eye level and stare at it, then they chalk it "extra hard". We're all guilty of that, it cracks me up. There is one guy here, he takes a shot and if the cue ball is rolling toward a pocket he'll get right over the ball and move with it until it stops or falls in the pocket. One of my favorite things are the people that shoot then contort themselves, or their feet and legs trying to put all kinds of "body english" on the shot. I catch myself doing that all the time, I just have to laugh at myself, why not? everyone else is
My sentiments exactly. I always shake hands with the person, congratulate them on the "win"...not necessarily on their level of play, because there are times it's my own damn fault for losing, knowing full-well it was my mistakes and not my opponent's miraculous playing. But yeah, good sportsmanship goes a long way in keeping ties within the pool community in my area. Just by having a good attitude when I lose, I am approached often to play in future matches, etc.
52 posts and no cue slammers, lol
What are the odds that 52 posters, and no-one admits to slamming cues, breaking butt plates, .......lol, be honest, people, this isn't a popularity contest...
For the record, tonight, I played league match...was shredding it in practice...but missed a couple ez shots/leaves...
I remembered starting this thread, and just laughed...it felt really good...NO F-BOMBS tonight
What are the odds that 52 posters, and no-one admits to slamming cues, breaking butt plates, .......lol, be honest, people, this isn't a popularity contest...
For the record, tonight, I played league match...was shredding it in practice...but missed a couple ez shots/leaves...
I remembered starting this thread, and just laughed...it felt really good...NO F-BOMBS tonight
Secaucus Fats
Banned
No broken butt-plates here, but I did split the shaft of a house cue over the rail of an ancient Brunswick when I was sixteen.
Interceding on my behalf was Harry Platis, who mollified the counterman,suggesting that no real harm had been done,foretelling a lifetime's work. Hell, for all I know, he reimbursed the cost of the cue after I left.
Harry went on to college, Gonzaga Law and Derby City.
That episode of equipment abuse has stayed with me for the subsequent sixty years.
Nowadays, the women in the bars out-F-bomb me,though i can hang in there.
In league play I am generous in complimenting good play by my opponent.
My vocal self critiques in both league and tournament play tend the humorous and self-deprecatory.
I channel Bones with "Dammit,Jim.", note that my shot did not finish in the right zip-code,and, if things go really sideways, I have been too often guilty of "Double Poopie!!!"
It's supposed to be fun, wouldn't you agree?
pete
Interceding on my behalf was Harry Platis, who mollified the counterman,suggesting that no real harm had been done,foretelling a lifetime's work. Hell, for all I know, he reimbursed the cost of the cue after I left.
Harry went on to college, Gonzaga Law and Derby City.
That episode of equipment abuse has stayed with me for the subsequent sixty years.
Nowadays, the women in the bars out-F-bomb me,though i can hang in there.
In league play I am generous in complimenting good play by my opponent.
My vocal self critiques in both league and tournament play tend the humorous and self-deprecatory.
I channel Bones with "Dammit,Jim.", note that my shot did not finish in the right zip-code,and, if things go really sideways, I have been too often guilty of "Double Poopie!!!"
It's supposed to be fun, wouldn't you agree?
pete
It's not wrong. There are a couple of people in my League that I used to hate to play because they were extremely slow players. A man I consider a father to me use to make sure I played one of these people every time we played there team because he knew it would take me out of my game.
I am much better with that now so it does not work as well. The only thing worse than losing is losing before the match starts because your head is focused on something else and giving your opponent the upper hand..
I gloat when I win.
I pout when I lose.
I pout when I lose.
I used to get visibly frustrated and talk to myself. I'm sure I probably even was a bit offensive to some people. I was in my early to mid 20's.
Now after leaving pool and playing poker full time, my whole demeanor has changed. I'm sure part of it is maturity as I'm in my 30's now, but IMO poker did wonders for my mental game. I learned to become totally neutral about winning or losing as in poker if you become emotional either way, it can affect you decision making. Also because of the amount of social interaction affiliated with card games, I've become much more pleasant to be around in general.
Now when I win or lose, I don't really get a super strong feeling either way. Its a very comforting and serene feeling. Obviously I don't like losing or missing shots, but it doesn't get under my skin anymore and this allows me to shoot more consistently. Its a great feeling when someone runs a few racks on you and you are able to get up out of your chair cold and feel pretty neutral about the whole situation.
Now after leaving pool and playing poker full time, my whole demeanor has changed. I'm sure part of it is maturity as I'm in my 30's now, but IMO poker did wonders for my mental game. I learned to become totally neutral about winning or losing as in poker if you become emotional either way, it can affect you decision making. Also because of the amount of social interaction affiliated with card games, I've become much more pleasant to be around in general.
Now when I win or lose, I don't really get a super strong feeling either way. Its a very comforting and serene feeling. Obviously I don't like losing or missing shots, but it doesn't get under my skin anymore and this allows me to shoot more consistently. Its a great feeling when someone runs a few racks on you and you are able to get up out of your chair cold and feel pretty neutral about the whole situation.
Well, you want honest? I'll do my best. I have just in the last couple of months picked up the cues again after 10 year stretch of not playing (family, career, house etc etc). I used to play multiple leagues and local tournaments throughout the 90's. Was a Manager/Bartender of a small pool hall (Columbus,Ohio) for 6 of those years. I was a 6 in APA and if memory serves I was a 9 in VNEA and I completely forget how Coin-Op handicaps but I played that league as well.
Back to the main topic:
I have always tried to exhibit good sportsmanship, commend excellent shots by opponents, retrieve the ball when I scratch for my opponent, and say please and thank you all with a smile, trying to be a true class act. The brutal truth is, if I have lost control of the table or failed to nail the speed or contact points and miss or hook myself, I am boiling with internal rage. Some times it's very difficult to contain this inner rage and a few f-bombs may suddenly surface. Never towards my opponent, always directed at myself. If I was ever to punch anyone in the place, I would punch myself first, because that's who I'm pissed off at. This rage turned inwards has been my nemesis, and always has been even in my peak. If I could ever learn to control it, ( I call it turning off my brain ) I could be a very consistent high caliber player I believe. I don't lash out or beat on things but I have drawn back my cue as if I'm ready to spear it across the room, but never have actually thrown one.
So in closing to answer your question of how I act when I lose, I smile congratulate my opponent and extend a hand to shake, it is then their choice whether they want to shake hands back, most do and a few don't and that's ok. After I walk away you would never know it by looking at me, but I am talking to myself like a dirty washrag whore and calling myself every name in the book, even making up a few along the way. In addition this can and does carry over into further matches thus destroying my focus on the match at hand. I then miss because I was mad from before, and now I'm even madder at myself for being mad from before and it's like a snow ball rolling down hill getting bigger as it goes.
I had always in my 20's chalked it up to a maturity issue. Now I'm over 40 returning to the game a much more mature person. There's only one problem though, NOTHING has changed, same internal verbal assault against myself. I'm having problems with visual alignment, contact points and throw that will come back with more table time. I bought a table and currently refinishing the basement for said table, this will be my first pool table I have ever owned. Hopefully I can get the table time I need now to try to get back to or go beyond the level of play I'm accustomed to from so long ago. So there you have it, that's my story and how I act when I lose.
When I win, I do everything exactly the same but the internal rage warfare against myself is much, much tamer. I do mentally replay and evaluate back the mistakes that were had even though I won.
For those that made it this far through the book post, I thank you for your time and any words of encouragement, and/or advice on how to tame this internal mental beat-down I put myself through. Please help me silence the beast...
DOPC
Back to the main topic:
I have always tried to exhibit good sportsmanship, commend excellent shots by opponents, retrieve the ball when I scratch for my opponent, and say please and thank you all with a smile, trying to be a true class act. The brutal truth is, if I have lost control of the table or failed to nail the speed or contact points and miss or hook myself, I am boiling with internal rage. Some times it's very difficult to contain this inner rage and a few f-bombs may suddenly surface. Never towards my opponent, always directed at myself. If I was ever to punch anyone in the place, I would punch myself first, because that's who I'm pissed off at. This rage turned inwards has been my nemesis, and always has been even in my peak. If I could ever learn to control it, ( I call it turning off my brain ) I could be a very consistent high caliber player I believe. I don't lash out or beat on things but I have drawn back my cue as if I'm ready to spear it across the room, but never have actually thrown one.
So in closing to answer your question of how I act when I lose, I smile congratulate my opponent and extend a hand to shake, it is then their choice whether they want to shake hands back, most do and a few don't and that's ok. After I walk away you would never know it by looking at me, but I am talking to myself like a dirty washrag whore and calling myself every name in the book, even making up a few along the way. In addition this can and does carry over into further matches thus destroying my focus on the match at hand. I then miss because I was mad from before, and now I'm even madder at myself for being mad from before and it's like a snow ball rolling down hill getting bigger as it goes.
I had always in my 20's chalked it up to a maturity issue. Now I'm over 40 returning to the game a much more mature person. There's only one problem though, NOTHING has changed, same internal verbal assault against myself. I'm having problems with visual alignment, contact points and throw that will come back with more table time. I bought a table and currently refinishing the basement for said table, this will be my first pool table I have ever owned. Hopefully I can get the table time I need now to try to get back to or go beyond the level of play I'm accustomed to from so long ago. So there you have it, that's my story and how I act when I lose.
When I win, I do everything exactly the same but the internal rage warfare against myself is much, much tamer. I do mentally replay and evaluate back the mistakes that were had even though I won.
For those that made it this far through the book post, I thank you for your time and any words of encouragement, and/or advice on how to tame this internal mental beat-down I put myself through. Please help me silence the beast...
DOPC