It is usually good until BOY arrives, trouble starts, she jammed that hook hard to get out!!
How to have everything?
- Thread starter thehoneybadger
- Start date
It is usually good until BOY arrives, trouble starts, she jammed that hook hard to get out!!
just based on what you posted honeybadger there are 1 of 2 likely scenarios going on here..... neither one aint good.
1. she aint going bowling. you need to have a family member or friend she dont know follow her and verify she is in fact going bowling. also verify if she is pretty cozy with someone on that team.
2. if she is indeed bowling that indicates she is overbearing and does what she wants and the hell with your outside interests.
either way you have a problem that can not be solved with advice from this forum.
well you did ask for advice so i will give you mine...speaking from experience..
verify if she is going bowling and whether or not she is friendly with a teamate.
if that checks out ok then that indicates she is just selfish and may can be worked out between you two or with counseling.
last piece of advice. if she is not willing to compromise dont let her hold your children over your head. if she does your life will be pure hell .
1. she aint going bowling. you need to have a family member or friend she dont know follow her and verify she is in fact going bowling. also verify if she is pretty cozy with someone on that team.
2. if she is indeed bowling that indicates she is overbearing and does what she wants and the hell with your outside interests.
either way you have a problem that can not be solved with advice from this forum.
well you did ask for advice so i will give you mine...speaking from experience..
verify if she is going bowling and whether or not she is friendly with a teamate.
if that checks out ok then that indicates she is just selfish and may can be worked out between you two or with counseling.
last piece of advice. if she is not willing to compromise dont let her hold your children over your head. if she does your life will be pure hell .
.................
Last edited:
Move your poolnight to tuesday. If she doesn't let you out then don't let her go wednesday either. If she still goes then you go out thurs wether she likes it or not. It may cause tension in your relationship but you can't let the honeybadger walk all over you man.
Unless of course your a drunk that likes to gamble the family's savings when you're out playing pool.
Unless of course your a drunk that likes to gamble the family's savings when you're out playing pool.
I've got a different question....
What the fuh.....heck are you doing letting your pregnant wife drive 200 miles a night to go bowling?
Sounds like the BOTH your priorities are seriously jacked.
Sorry.
What the fuh.....heck are you doing letting your pregnant wife drive 200 miles a night to go bowling?
Sounds like the BOTH your priorities are seriously jacked.
Sorry.
Her family lives 100 miles away, they are all huge into bowling. All are like 200 averages. I know shes going bowling I'm not concerned about that or her fooling around. I trust her. I don't like the thought of her driving that far once a week but I would never try to take her family time away. Plus it's one of the only ways her parents see our boy. She moved away from them for me.
I don't drink usually any more than one 2fer when I play Thursdays but i stay out late, with my brother and we drum up what action we can it's atleast midnight sometimes even 1 or 2am when we play, I can't seem to leave the action. I do stay home with my son wednesdays that she doesn't take him to see her parents and she usually doesn't make it home till midnight because the 2 hour drive.
I do play some tourneys which really gets her going because she only has like 2 a year for bowling. I know she likes to bust my balls but it seems to just be getting worse and worse. It's the only hobby or thing I really do now, it's not money we are fine there. Biggest blow ups are about me not sitting around to listen about our boring friends lifes and who they all hate I would rather let them all *****, I'll play pool. It's like my mental get away ha
I don't drink usually any more than one 2fer when I play Thursdays but i stay out late, with my brother and we drum up what action we can it's atleast midnight sometimes even 1 or 2am when we play, I can't seem to leave the action. I do stay home with my son wednesdays that she doesn't take him to see her parents and she usually doesn't make it home till midnight because the 2 hour drive.
I do play some tourneys which really gets her going because she only has like 2 a year for bowling. I know she likes to bust my balls but it seems to just be getting worse and worse. It's the only hobby or thing I really do now, it's not money we are fine there. Biggest blow ups are about me not sitting around to listen about our boring friends lifes and who they all hate I would rather let them all *****, I'll play pool. It's like my mental get away ha
Last edited:
.................
Last edited:
I'm divorced with a 9 year old son. Divorce wasn't my choice, but that doesn't matters. Once you have a child your job in life is to be the best father you can be to that child. While it wasn't really my fault or choice, I have a lot of guilt knowing my son has to grow up with his parents apart. I'd die for my son and family, so giving up pool for a little while is a no brainier if it came to that. When my son was born I stopped playing pool and golf for a little while until the opportunity was there again. I have joint custody of my son and see him multiple times a week. Still, when you can't see your child until its your turn to have them, or God forbid your ex gets full custody and you rarely get to see your own flesh and blood unless a court says you can, then tell me how important playing pool on Thursdays really is. You are a father now, time to figure out what your priorities are.
Pool ''is'' a great escape from life in many forms, tho I wouldn't advise using it to cover up a family concern. I read into your thread reaizing there's really another problem, but its manifestations have picked your pool game for its platform. I don't like where thats headed, I'd have a good sit down and tell er how I feel. You got kids, work it out. Power struggles never work for the better in the long run, and if it does, your kids, monkey See.
Ask her to compromise. Doesn't she care how you feel? She is being selfish. You can be an amazing father and go out one night a week. Do you question her mothering skills becuase she goes out one night a week? You didn't get married to be in jail. It's one night a week and a few tourneys. She's got to losen the leash a bit.
At the end of the day you have to do things you do not like, weather you like it or not, this is the price tag of marriage. Sorry, most of us married people with kids that have a hobby (pool, golf..) have to deal with it and swallow the knife and live, surely not for her, it is for boy at the end of the day.
As coming back late in the AM hours, i see that is an issue, could disturb the princess sleep! not good, also boy might keep you up!
I'm lucky that my wife has an interest in pool too. She plays on my team and we do Scotch together.
You'd hate me if I told you how many nights a week I play.
In a marriage, it is a necessity that both of you have one common interest that you do together and also a necessity that you both have other hobbies
to get a bit of space away from each other.
If you can't have one night out for your hobby, then you have an underlying issue that you need to discuss with your wife.
What is the point of her sitting at home stewing over you being out one night or you caving in to her demands and staying home stewing over the fact that you are not allowed one night.
The end result is that it will hit a boiling point soon and it doesn't sound like it will be good if you don't talk about it now.
To me and others here, I can't see one logical reason that your wife would have that would justify her not letting you out.
You could cave in to her wishes and it won't take long before you become resentful. When that happens, you're done.
Better to be alone and have your freedom and piece of mind than live your life with regrets for how ever long it takes before you crack.
After all, Honey Badger don't give a Sht.
Here are some Badgers for you that will put a smile on your face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI
You'd hate me if I told you how many nights a week I play.
In a marriage, it is a necessity that both of you have one common interest that you do together and also a necessity that you both have other hobbies
to get a bit of space away from each other.
If you can't have one night out for your hobby, then you have an underlying issue that you need to discuss with your wife.
What is the point of her sitting at home stewing over you being out one night or you caving in to her demands and staying home stewing over the fact that you are not allowed one night.
The end result is that it will hit a boiling point soon and it doesn't sound like it will be good if you don't talk about it now.
To me and others here, I can't see one logical reason that your wife would have that would justify her not letting you out.
You could cave in to her wishes and it won't take long before you become resentful. When that happens, you're done.
Better to be alone and have your freedom and piece of mind than live your life with regrets for how ever long it takes before you crack.
After all, Honey Badger don't give a Sht.
Here are some Badgers for you that will put a smile on your face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI
Last edited:
Don't use the "me time" excuse...that never works, women just don't understand why you'd ever want time away from them. Some, more mature, secure women can relate, but most won't. They're very few guys with wives that let them out at night to play pool without a little grief. You just need to stick with the "it's my one vice/passion" argument. You also need to make sure you're not giving her other concerns (drinking, gambling, tom-catting, etc.).
I agree, your son has the priority...I had to give up pool for a little over 10 years during my son's formative years...now he's old enough with his own stuff to do; I go out one or two nights per week to play pool, usually waiting to pick him up from somewhere and take him home. Or he plays with me. :smile:
My wife met me while I was holding a custom cue in my hand gambling...then she went out with me every night while I chased action or played tournaments...then every night became 2 nights per week...then two nights per month...then only tournaments once a month...then nothing, when our son was born. Now I'm back up to one or two nights per week and any big tournaments that come along. I still get grief from time to time. It's not the pool, it's the environment that makes them nervous...If you were playing 70 year olds at the local American Legion I doubt she'd have a problem. It's all the other mischief you could run into in late night sessions at a pool room or bar that's got her dander up.
My wife's agreed to let me buy a Diamond ProAm when we're back in the states.:wink: That should keep me "tournament-only", but sharp as I need to be...plus there aren't slutty women, booze and gambling in my garage (yet) for her to worry about.:thumbup:
I agree, your son has the priority...I had to give up pool for a little over 10 years during my son's formative years...now he's old enough with his own stuff to do; I go out one or two nights per week to play pool, usually waiting to pick him up from somewhere and take him home. Or he plays with me. :smile:
My wife met me while I was holding a custom cue in my hand gambling...then she went out with me every night while I chased action or played tournaments...then every night became 2 nights per week...then two nights per month...then only tournaments once a month...then nothing, when our son was born. Now I'm back up to one or two nights per week and any big tournaments that come along. I still get grief from time to time. It's not the pool, it's the environment that makes them nervous...If you were playing 70 year olds at the local American Legion I doubt she'd have a problem. It's all the other mischief you could run into in late night sessions at a pool room or bar that's got her dander up.
My wife's agreed to let me buy a Diamond ProAm when we're back in the states.:wink: That should keep me "tournament-only", but sharp as I need to be...plus there aren't slutty women, booze and gambling in my garage (yet) for her to worry about.:thumbup:
Holly S---t
What a bunch of BS she giving you. She moved YOU away from her family and that life...Get rid of her NOW!!!
What a bunch of BS she giving you. She moved YOU away from her family and that life...Get rid of her NOW!!!
I read an article somewhere that men and women in a relationship look at it in different ways when it comes to activities. Women want to do more things as a couple (i.e. YOU don't go out on your own), while men continue to want to hang out by themselves. I think that is true.
Once a week should not be a big thing at all. Even twice. My brother in law is in a relationship where he gives up everything, he loves to play, and has not been allowed to go anywhere for a very long time. He works full time, comes home, does the shopping, does the laundry, takes care of the house. They have 2 kids but one is 8 so is not that big of a deal there, she stays at home, only goes out to do anything like shopping only if it's with someone else (my wife or her mother usually). He probably qualifies for sainthood from being in this relationship.
If she complains about you going out even once a week for "YOUR" time, you need to find out why. The excuse I hear as to why my brother in law can't go is "money" but she is OK with buying new toys for the kids every week where they already have a room full of stuff and going out to eat every other day.
My wife understands that it's good for me to go out, and it's always to play pool hehe. I am also lucky in the fact that my son loves to play, so there is probably an extra day that we get to play for that. 2 days of pool, by yourself is not that big of a thing.
Once a week should not be a big thing at all. Even twice. My brother in law is in a relationship where he gives up everything, he loves to play, and has not been allowed to go anywhere for a very long time. He works full time, comes home, does the shopping, does the laundry, takes care of the house. They have 2 kids but one is 8 so is not that big of a deal there, she stays at home, only goes out to do anything like shopping only if it's with someone else (my wife or her mother usually). He probably qualifies for sainthood from being in this relationship.
If she complains about you going out even once a week for "YOUR" time, you need to find out why. The excuse I hear as to why my brother in law can't go is "money" but she is OK with buying new toys for the kids every week where they already have a room full of stuff and going out to eat every other day.
My wife understands that it's good for me to go out, and it's always to play pool hehe. I am also lucky in the fact that my son loves to play, so there is probably an extra day that we get to play for that. 2 days of pool, by yourself is not that big of a thing.
LIke Blue Hog Rider I have the right woman, I lost a few over pool and decided no woman was better than the wrong one. Took me lots of time to find the right one, and it was the smartest move I ever made in life. She has never hit a ball one time but is into pool and cues, she was at the pool room with me last night til 12 am here in Germany, she dont always go out with me but never gives me a hard time-no matter how late i am. Well she did get a little pissed when I took off with JA for 3 weeks and change back in 07-so I flew her out to Atlanta to join the trip. it was suppost to be a 3 day trip to reno-lol we just kept on going, I sort of forgot and got caught up in pool, that happens ya know?
I'm the luckiest guy ever, in 14 years never had one argument, not one. Hard to imagine that, she aint a push over either, we get along that good. Jay Helfert will verify this as will many AZB members. Kelly is the best thing that ever happened to me period(short of being born).
best
eric:smile::smile:
PS and she is hot:thumbup: ok i'm bragging but i have to, cant help it sorry.
I'm the luckiest guy ever, in 14 years never had one argument, not one. Hard to imagine that, she aint a push over either, we get along that good. Jay Helfert will verify this as will many AZB members. Kelly is the best thing that ever happened to me period(short of being born).
best
eric:smile::smile:
PS and she is hot:thumbup: ok i'm bragging but i have to, cant help it sorry.
Last edited:
I guess I should have added we are not married. She does have a beautiful ring on but no date set yet. I defenetly don't want to let go of pool, I don't think one night a week is all that much specially since she knows the scene and everyone in it now, I usually only play with my brother after league is over. I make sure to introduce her to everyone and let her know like " yep this is it, this is all I do here" She just thinks pool is pathetic and a waste of time and money(although I'm buying her new bowling ball so she can learn the curve). I really don't understand it, she has always been on me about us needing our own things and time apart and now we spend alot of time apart doing our own hobbies and thats become the problem ha! I tried to get her into it and she's actually a natural shot maker with a strait stroke so I bought her a Pechauer JC10 but still a no go. I agree we probably should just sit down and talk, which I figured but just looking for more experiance before we do since I'm sure alot of people have gone through this. Thanks for the insite everyone!
First off, don't ever give up on your family.
Secondly, if you are passionate about something, even if it's something as seemingly trivial as a game of pool -- don't give up on that either. Be patient and she will come around. If she doesn't, you are doing something wrong, or there's a problem with her.
Lastly, DO NOT ARGUE about it. I refuse to have any arguments about this subject. I let my wife know in advance that I am going to be playing on such and such a date, with the implication that it's not really open for discussion. In return, I expect that she will able to get out and do something she enjoys.
One trick to this technique though, is when something comes up out of the blue (tournament, league, or matchup) that wasn't expected and you really don't care about it, ask her what she would think of you going out and playing? In this situation, she will of course say, "No. Don't you think you should stay home and scrape off 4 layers of shingles on the house and redo it?" To which you will say, "Well, it is the middle of January but I think you are right. I think I should redo the roof. Maybe I'll play next time." This technique really shouldn't be legal, but it does work. On the occasions that you really don't want to play you let her make the decision for you and after a while she will feel guilty about being so overbearing, then you will get even more pool. See how that works?
So in summary: Let her know ahead of time when you are playing...don't argue about it.....be patient.......and manipulate her when she's not looking. That’s all you need to know. Good luck.
Secondly, if you are passionate about something, even if it's something as seemingly trivial as a game of pool -- don't give up on that either. Be patient and she will come around. If she doesn't, you are doing something wrong, or there's a problem with her.
Lastly, DO NOT ARGUE about it. I refuse to have any arguments about this subject. I let my wife know in advance that I am going to be playing on such and such a date, with the implication that it's not really open for discussion. In return, I expect that she will able to get out and do something she enjoys.
One trick to this technique though, is when something comes up out of the blue (tournament, league, or matchup) that wasn't expected and you really don't care about it, ask her what she would think of you going out and playing? In this situation, she will of course say, "No. Don't you think you should stay home and scrape off 4 layers of shingles on the house and redo it?" To which you will say, "Well, it is the middle of January but I think you are right. I think I should redo the roof. Maybe I'll play next time." This technique really shouldn't be legal, but it does work. On the occasions that you really don't want to play you let her make the decision for you and after a while she will feel guilty about being so overbearing, then you will get even more pool. See how that works?
So in summary: Let her know ahead of time when you are playing...don't argue about it.....be patient.......and manipulate her when she's not looking. That’s all you need to know. Good luck.