Name some woofin' quotes that you thought were very funny

obclassicut

Percentages
Silver Member
quotes

"your limiting your options if you use one portion of the cue ball primarily to increase pocketing ability, its a dead end road"
 

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Myrtle Beach story

That's funny, Jam, as you probably know I'm good friends with Berle, Weldon,and Shannon from 30 years ago running around Kentucky. I used to gamble with Shannon and then we started betting on each other.

I ask Shannon one time if a group of players at a tournament were "uneasy" about gambling with us, he said "uneasy, sh*t, they're like long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs!"


That's a funny line for sure. I know there's a lot more where that came from and I hope to hear more from you and all the fellow AZers. I can add one more to it with this one.

I was in Myrtle Beach in June 2000 and was at Classic Billiards if I'm remembering the name of the place right. 3 young fellows show up (one is very well known now) that just happened to be from Tennessee also, but weren't with me. I had just drank too much to play good and had lost a couple hundred to this older guy. I had just quit and these 3 youngins started talkin' to the older guy. I could barely hear them at first and then I heard them get louder as the older guy boldly stated "Lets play for five hundred"! The young backer, not the player yells "Lets play for five thousand"!!!!! Older guy says "You ain't got five thousand"! This kid reaches in his back pocket and slams a huge double folded stack of hundreds on the table and then reaches in his other back pocket and slams an equally large amount of hundreds on the table all in about 3 seconds and then yells "Now bet"!!!! All the older guy could say was "We can call somebody"! Then the young backer yells "Call"em, call'em right f$ckin" now"!!!! They ended up playing only one four hundred dollar set and the old guy got his arse handed to him and quit. The backer was beyond borderline smart arse, but he got me fired up about pool again and as soon as I got back to Tennesse I had a 9' Diamond Professional delivered to my house. I'll never forget this and it was the first time I saw this three fingered kid play(hint,hint). Based on their huge bankroll(s) I guess you could say that they had a very successful road trip.
 

book collector

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
A famous {infamous} pool player goes to play a room owner out of town.
He busts the guy and goes home , 6 months later he finds out the guy is pumped up again and goes back and busts him again.
Goes back home and gets word later the guy once again has a pile of money.
This time he loses to the guy and tells him he will have to go to the car , and he would be right back.
When he comes back, the owner thinks he went to get more money, instead he went and got a gun.
He points the gun at the guy and says "You played great, but I really must have the money!"
 

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Deserves time in prison

A famous {infamous} pool player goes to play a room owner out of town.
He busts the guy and goes home , 6 months later he finds out the guy is pumped up again and goes back and busts him again.
Goes back home and gets word later the guy once again has a pile of money.
This time he loses to the guy and tells him he will have to go to the car , and he would be right back.
When he comes back, the owner thinks he went to get more money, instead he went and got a gun.
He points the gun at the guy and says "You played great, but I really must have the money!"

Man, that would suck. Hope that guy ended up doing some time for that.
 

book collector

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Man, that would suck. Hope that guy ended up doing some time for that.

He did his share of time , I don't think this one was one of them though.
I had heard a lot of stories about this guy and found out where he hung out .
So one day I drive to the spot and ask if he is around, I would like to meet him .
They told me he was back in jail, {he had to be in his 70s at the time}.
 

Jimmy M.

Insomniac
Silver Member
One time at the Sands in Reno Bucktooth was going on and on woofing at Alex to give him some ridiculous spot. Finally Alex told him, "you got it, but you have to play naked and, if anyone laughs, you lose!"
 

Luxury

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
There was a legend on here woofin about gamblin at various pool games and his girl had been woofin about gamblin at scrabble and the guy responded with, "I play ALL games." And posted a pic of a wad of cash on a pool table with a scrabble board.

Then crickets.
 

fathomblue

Rusty Shackleford
Silver Member
There was a legend on here woofin about gamblin at various pool games and his girl had been woofin about gamblin at scrabble and the guy responded with, "I play ALL games." And posted a pic of a wad of cash on a pool table with a scrabble board.

Then crickets.

Nominated for Post of the Year.
 

JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
That's funny, Jam, as you probably know I'm good friends with Berle, Weldon,and Shannon from 30 years ago running around Kentucky. I used to gamble with Shannon and then we started betting on each other.

I ask Shannon one time if a group of players at a tournament were "uneasy" about gambling with us, he said "uneasy, sh*t, they're like long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs!"


Shannon is a hoot! I will never forget the year at the Super Billiards Expo with Shannon and Liljon were singing country songs a capella. They each were feeling no pain, shall I say. :wink:

The funny thing about it is, they were damn good! :cool:
 

JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
There was a legend on here woofin about gamblin at various pool games and his girl had been woofin about gamblin at scrabble and the guy responded with, "I play ALL games." And posted a pic of a wad of cash on a pool table with a scrabble board.

Then crickets.

One monkey decided to dance to the tune he wanted to dance to, but he was turned down. You see, it seems nobody was interested in dancing the quick step and instead preferred some hip-hop. The monkey knew how to do the hip-hop, but he preferred the quick step since he had been away from the dancing ballroom for many years. Nobody seemed to want to do the quick step, even though they said they danced all dances.

After careful consideration, the wise old monkey then decided he'd dance when he *wanted* to dance for himself and not for a couple of chirping railbirds with no skin in the game. :grin-square:
 

Blue Hog ridr

World Famous Fisherman.
Silver Member
After careful consideration, the wise old monkey then decided he'd dance when he *wanted* to dance for himself and not for a couple of chirping railbirds with no skin in the game.

In other words, the Wise Old Monkey knew that it was time to stop woofing unless he had the Skin to back it up. Like as in, when you are short a few bananas and the whipped cream, its time to stop telling people that you know how to make a banana split.

Yes? The reason that I ask is that I am not a gambler but figure that unless I want to gamble, I shouldn't woof at people to gamble with me.

Same reason I don't stand in front of the toilette unless I need to Pee.
 
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JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
In other words, the Wise Old Monkey knew that it was time to stop woofing unless he had the Skin to back it up. Like as in, when you are short a few bananas and the whipped cream, its time to stop telling people that you know how to make a banana split.

Yes? The reason that I ask is that I am not a gambler but figure that unless I want to gamble, I shouldn't woof at people to gamble with me.

Same reason I don't stand in front of the toilette unless I need to Pee.

You seem to be tail-gating me on a lot of threads lately. Do you have an axe to grind with me?
 

JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
In other words, the Wise Old Monkey knew that it was time to stop woofing unless he had the Skin to back it up. Like as in, when you are short a few bananas and the whipped cream, its time to stop telling people that you know how to make a banana split.

Yes? The reason that I ask is that I am not a gambler but figure that unless I want to gamble, I shouldn't woof at people to gamble with me.

Same reason I don't stand in front of the toilette unless I need to Pee.

One more thing, Keith can woof at whoever he wants, and he has plenty of whipped cream and bananas. One thing for sure, he can make a much better banana split then a few chirping Internet railbirds with nothing but time on their hands to post mean-spirited words on a forum with the sole goal of creating a flame.
 

Blue Hog ridr

World Famous Fisherman.
Silver Member
Not at all Jen. I have a grindstone and all my axes are already sharpened.

Should spend more time looking thru the windshield of life instead of the rear view mirror.

BTW, I enjoyed the dancing monkey explanation. I didn't understand it one bit but I thought it was funny.

My doggie is woofing at me. I think its time to hit the sack. Have too much
saw dust in my eyes.

I don't think Luxurys post nor mine was intended for Keith. Least mine wasn't. I could care less what Keith says or does as he seldom posts on AZ.
 
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JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Not at all Jen. I have a grindstone and all my axes are already sharpened.

Should spend more time looking thru the windshield of life instead of the rear view mirror.

BTW, I enjoyed the dancing monkey explanation. I didn't understand it one bit but I thought it was funny.

My doggie is woofing at me. I think its time to hit the sack. Have too much
saw dust in my eyes.

By the tone of your posts in the morning when I wake up, I kind of figured you've been up all night. You seem to post a lot this time of morning. Me, on the other hand, I just woke up, and I'm fresh as a daisy. The early bird always gets the worm.

Nighty night! :thumbup:
 

JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I don't think Luxurys post nor mine was intended for Keith. Least mine wasn't. I could care less what Keith says or does as he seldom posts on AZ.

Gee, I wonder why that is. So he can interact with people like you? :rolleyes:
 

Razor

Lex Parsimoniae
Silver Member
One monkey decided to dance to the tune he wanted to dance to, but he was turned down. You see, it seems nobody was interested in dancing the quick step and instead preferred some hip-hop. The monkey knew how to do the hip-hop, but he preferred the quick step since he had been away from the dancing ballroom for many years. Nobody seemed to want to do the quick step, even though they said they danced all dances.

After careful consideration, the wise old monkey then decided he'd dance when he *wanted* to dance for himself and not for a couple of chirping railbirds with no skin in the game. :grin-square:

Hope the player referred to can play soon, on his terms. Count me in...but I would never refer to it as a dancing monkey act, as much as I like character development. That character has already been developed, within the pool world at least. :smile:

More like a legend stretching his wings again. And one with plenty of stories and character just like the game needs. Guaranteed to draw an audience.

I'll never forget my experience at the Derby City Classic (the first annual in the Executive West) with the Earthquake in a side room with a single table I believe. It was away from the main playing area for sure. That has been a while ago and I forget the exact logistics of the layout. But I know the room was packed standing room only and it was colorful...and beautiful to watch. And, no I never considered that to be a dancing monkey act either. Even though that was maybe 15 years ago or longer, I vaguely remember Keith playing in his socks only? Memory may be failing me though and could have been someone else entirely.

At any rate, seemed to me to be real intense "business", negotiations transpired, battle ensued. Thanks to Keith for that memory. My first experience seeing players of that caliber, up close and personal, doing what they do, I was mesmerized.

Oh, and I always remember there was a magician set up in the hallway where the vendors were. Performing magic tricks and selling the set-ups. Anyone else that was there remember that bit of lore? Anyone know the gentleman?

~Razor
 
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JAM

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Hope the player referred to can play soon, on his terms. Count me in...but I would never refer to it as a dancing monkey act, as much as I like character development. That character has already been developed, within the pool world at least. :smile:

More like a legend stretching his wings again. And one with plenty of stories and character just like the game needs. Guaranteed to draw an audience.

I'll never forget my experience at the Derby City Classic (the first annual in the Executive West) with the Earthquake in a side room with a single table I believe. It was away from the main playing area for sure. That has been a while ago and I forget the exact logistics of the layout. But I know the room was packed standing room only and it was colorful...and beautiful to watch. And, no I never considered that to be a dancing monkey act either. Even though that was maybe 15 years ago or longer, I vaguely remember Keith playing in his socks only? Memory may be failing me though and could have been someone else entirely.

At any rate, seemed to me to be real intense "business", negotiations transpired, battle ensued. Thanks to Keith for that memory.

Oh, and I always remember there was a magician set up in the hallway where the vendors were. Performing magic tricks and selling the set-ups. Anyone else that was there remember that bit of lore? Anyone know the gentleman?

~Razor

Thank you for the kind words, Razor. It's kind of unsettling to read posts that are targeting me by using Keith as bait. I appreciate you taking the time to share that.

Keith actually used to always shoot barefooted. I'm not sure why. I guess he was more comfortable.

When he moved to the East Coast with me, though, he had to keep his shoes on. It gets cold 'round these parts, and his California blood just can't handle it. He still stays cold each winter, poor fellow. I bought him an Amish heat surge for the den, so he coudl watch sports in comfort. That Amish heat surge really does heat up a room nicely, and it doesn't dry out your skin.

Thanks again for the good post. It restores my faith in AzBilliards to know there are some cool pool peeps here. :cool:
 
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