Negative talk and thoughts

[Russ Chewning]

thats a very good point. when i get those horrible rolls (which, as i'm sure you's are aware, is almost everyday) i get that bad outlook on everything life has to offer.

Born To Lose - thats me.

DCP

Yup......Pretty much....

Russ

 

[Russ Chewning]

Thanks Hu. This is through email, or just joking around. I find myself sometimes going with the joke saying I am terrible.. that's where I worry that my subconscious is possible affected. That's my main concern that somehow going with the joke is making the joke come true. I am 99.9% sure it is done in fun... I am also sure that if I'm in a tournament, I have the largest cheering section of anyone.

With that said, I will try to stop thinking negative thoughts... harder to do then say. The thought process, "don't mess up these last three balls", with something more positive.. play 7 ball in with inside, then 8 straight in stop, then 9... or whatever. And of course, trying to eliminate any other negatives.

Now, how to deal with the "guys"... that's the next challenge

I know I'm gonna catch some flack for this, but here goes...

I think it doesn't hurt at all to be a little arrogant at the pool table. As in thinking, "This guy doesn't stand a chance. He doesn't deserve to win, and it's my job to make sure he doesn't... (After hitting a good shot..) Aww yeah... you liked that, didn't you, Russ? All in a day's work, my man...All in a day's work."

Some people are just born a little arrogant. When they work hard to get the skills to go with the arrogance(confidence), that makes them dangerous opponents.

It has been said that champions live for the moments when they have to make a tough shot for all the marbles, because they KNOW they are going to make it.

When someone is talking **** to you, then have it set in your mind to beat them on the table.. Don't just "hope" you are going to beat them, step up to the table "knowing" you are going to beat them.

Also, let this arrogance leak over into your practice time. If you truly believe player A is not supposed to beat you, then that will make you practice all that much harder.

One universal trait to champions is that they absolutely hate losing. They may not show it, but it's there. Let your hatred of losing drive your practice sessions.

In closing, a good quote:

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."

Russ

 

[ShootingArts]

Catch Russ!

Russ,

You are going to catch "it" for this, a little positive rep! Call it arrogance, call it ego, call it confidence, whatever you call it, it is really the same thing, self assurance. I usually call it ego since that is easy to say and short to type. Without it, nobody is a good competitor. Some may show it on the surface, some may bury it deep, all strong competitors have this trait. Without it you can never be a real competitor.

Hu

I know I'm gonna catch some flack for this, but here goes...

I think it doesn't hurt at all to be a little arrogant at the pool table. As in thinking, "This guy doesn't stand a chance. He doesn't deserve to win, and it's my job to make sure he doesn't... (After hitting a good shot..) Aww yeah... you liked that, didn't you, Russ? All in a day's work, my man...All in a day's work."

Some people are just born a little arrogant. When they work hard to get the skills to go with the arrogance(confidence), that makes them dangerous opponents.

It has been said that champions live for the moments when they have to make a tough shot for all the marbles, because they KNOW they are going to make it.

When someone is talking **** to you, then have it set in your mind to beat them on the table.. Don't just "hope" you are going to beat them, step up to the table "knowing" you are going to beat them.

Also, let this arrogance leak over into your practice time. If you truly believe player A is not supposed to beat you, then that will make you practice all that much harder.

One universal trait to champions is that they absolutely hate losing. They may not show it, but it's there. Let your hatred of losing drive your practice sessions.

In closing, a good quote:

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."

Russ

 

[cuesblues]

I didn't play pool from 1974 to 2002, the game had changed, players were better, and I sucked. I got back into pool after my divorce and quickly got back to where when I was at 20 years old, but I wasn't that good to begin with, but I used to win money. I started off doing great in the bars, but when I ventured out to the pool rooms, the first guy I played was about 70-years old, and when we were done playing he said, "Ted, let me give you some advice. First, you shoot too hard, second, don't play anybody in here for money".

My advice is to take some good lessons, and practice a lot on 9 ft. tables, setting up shots, especially long shots, until you are pocketing them with confidence. Level your cue stick, and let it do most of the work.

I would love to have a guy like you on my team

 

[Drew]

Simple solution. Go down to the local strip club every night for about 2 weeks. After you've gambled with everyone in the room for 2 weeks, you should have a nice little bankroll. Now go ask any of these friends for the 7 (or more if you need it) and toss your stack on the table. You'd be surprised how quickly this will shut them up.

 

[Russ Chewning]

Simple solution. Go down to the local strip club every night for about 2 weeks. After you've gambled with everyone in the room for 2 weeks, you should have a nice little bankroll. Now go ask any of these friends for the 7 (or more if you need it) and toss your stack on the table. You'd be surprised how quickly this will shut them up.

Yeah, PLUS.. The strippers will continuously tell you how cute you are (whether or not it is true), how well you play (whether or not it's true), and in general, just how swell a guy you are in general (whether or not it's true)... This in itself will do a lot to build your self confidence back up..

Russ

 

[3andstop]

I don't know how good a player you are, or how often you play, but there are a few things that are a must if you want to improve. An accurate smooth stroke, complete confidence in what you are executing and concentration.

You (the term "you" is used generically) need to develop and control your ability to fall into dead stroke. That place good players go where no one and nothing exists but the game.

You can't fall into dead stroke easily unless you experience it frequently. Nine ball has to be one of the worst games to try to develop dead stroke, 8 ball not much better.

So, my advice to you. Practice straight pool. Run balls. Become a part of the table and sink deeply into the task.

Doing it with straight pool will allow longer periods of deep concentration simply by the nature of the game.

I don't care how quickly you can delve into deep concentration, with 9 ball it can only last for 9 balls. For 8 ball it only lasts for 8 balls. Then you are required to come back to earth, out of your trance, and wait for the next game and your next turn to refocus. That could be a long wait in between.

Thats fine if you are experienced at feeling the feeling, but as you learn, you need to experience it for longer periods of time at one clip.

Straight pool can have you in a trance for a much longer time, becoming used to the feeling is the beginning of being able to develop and control it.

Take that for what it's worth, but I'm telling you, long periods of concentration are ticket to controlled short periods where you are required to fall in and out of it.

 

[sde]

How do you overcome being the butt of others jokes (so to speak). Granted I have improved a lot over the last 2 years but my friends are still way better then I am. Of course, they always will joke about me being a lousy pool player etc.

I am wondering if this type of talk actually hurts a person's game? I am in a slump right now... I mean a real slump. Then you hear this and that about your game constantly. A friend of mine said that you always have to talk positively about your game to yourself, that you have to believe you are at another level, etc. I am just having a hard time doing that.

What do you do to overcome these self-doubts, or put-downs. Now, understand these are all in fun.. there is no intention to hurt me or my game, but after listening to it for 1 year, I wonder if I have just taken to resembling the remarks rather then how I know I can really play.

Anyway, it feels good to get that off my chest no matter what

Perhaps someone should email a link to this thread to your freinds.

Steve

 

[Android]

3andStop is on the right track. 14.1, 8-ball, One Pocket, Golf, 3-ball, 9-ball etc. all offer different aspects, tactics, and skills.
IMHO you should play many different games and learn the lessons and skills of each one.
As for the kidding smile on the outside then grit your teeth and get an "I'll show you attitude on the inside"

Andy

 

[renard]

First off, do NOT make the mistake of confusing your 'game' with who you are as a person. It's real easy to feel like a loser in life when your game is in a slump. Just keep in mind that they are two different things.

As far as the 'funsters' go, take what they say with a grain of salt. If they say something about your game that is right, work on that. The rest you have to try and ignore. (I know it is hard to do) I'm quite sure you could easily compare them and their game to someone else, and they would look like hacks. There is always someone better, (except for one person- the best, but that can change day to day)

Best case scenario- work on your game when they aren't around. When they are, play like a chump. Then when you are sure you are a bit better than them, get them to gamble. Bet as much as you can afford to. Then YOU get the last laugh.

Neil brings up great points here. Your game has nothing to do with your self esteem. If they give you constructive criticism, use it. If they don't, return a similar rebuttal not related to the game. That should tell them that their harmless pokes of fun doesn't quite have you laughing.

I am wondering if this type of talk actually hurts a person's game? I am in a slump right now... I mean a real slump. Then you hear this and that about your game constantly. A friend of mine said that you always have to talk positively about your game to yourself, that you have to believe you are at another level, etc. I am just having a hard time doing that.

What do you do to overcome these self-doubts, or put-downs.

You were wondering if it can actually hurt your game, yes it can if you think about it in negative terms. As in you believe they are right in their assumption of your game.

Your friend is right and wrong in his advice. Talking positive about your game and remembering those great executions are very much right. But filling yourself with false expectations on your ability level just compounds the misery of the defeats and embarrassment of faulty execution.

Your problem is not so much in your game. It is what's in your head during the game. You cannot will yourself to forget whats going on around you during a game. If your mind deems the information around you as pertinent you will remember it and be affected by it. The only way to gradually remove these thoughts from your head till they are gone is to immerse yourself into the game with a preshot routine. If you are going through the steps and paying more attention to the steps (which is your game); then those self doubts and put downs do not have any room in your conscious and soon are forgotten as the game goes on.

 

[renard]

I liked the quote, PLAY THE TABLE NOT THE PERSON! That's a very good tip. Also, when playing in competition, I'm going to go get one of those MP3 systems.... I probably won't even have music going, but others will think I do. LOL.

Do comments day after day bother me? I guess they do every once in a while or I wouldn't have posted the thread. I just want to continue to improve (and I am) but I sure wish I could take that magic pill to make me an AA or AAA player (in our area it goes C,B,A,AA,AAA,Semi-Pro, Pro).

That quote has to be interpreted the right way though. Play the table is a general statement that has no substance and too much gray area. We can believe this statement to mean many different things.

Also there are situations in which it will never work. If you were telling yourself to play the table not the person during a game while I kept an ongoing dialog of bad mouthing your game you couldn't just "Play the table." The mind doesn't work that way. So even if the distraction is less drastic I still wouldn't use it in such a broad sense.

Interpreted the right way is to say, "Playing the table is simply concentrating on details of my game." A preshot routine and the detailed steps I follow on every shot.

We all want to improve and some here would give a digit to improve a level. I for one wish I wasn't a wage slave with responsibility squared. Damn what I would do with that time for my game! Unfortunately for my game it will always take a backseat to my family...

 

[CreeDo]

You've got two problems, you're not shooting well and your friends are being dicks.

Not shooting well has a thousand legit reasons (or BS excuses) behind it, but basically you need to spend hours at the table doing intelligent practice to fix it, and keep a calm mind.

Having dicks for friends can be remedied by telling them outright to stop giving you shit, or more subtly with body language (most people get the hint if you're quiet and look kinda pissed, and if they're cool they will stop).

Sometimes there's a fuzzy line between friendly ribbing, constructive criticism and needlessly busting your balls. Have confidence enough to make your own decision about what your friends are doing and react accordingly. Have the attitude that unless there's something useful buried in what they're saying... you aren't going to give a shit about what other people think and you're going to ignore it.

 

[9ballrun]

several years ago I had some similar friends, it was all done out of fun even though we were all about the same level of play. The way I solved it was every time one started to talk trash I would play safe and then look at them and say "sorry I just hate it when I misscue". It didn't matter if I had an easy out and all they needed was one ball, most of the time they would foul and I would get ball in hand anyway, and if they were paticularly abusive that night I might just take ball in hand and play a better safety on them just because I could. Pretty soon they figured out if they wanted a chance to win they better act right. I am not much for confortation so I will prove it on the table. All the time smiling as I was doing it. I still have to do it every once in a while but not often. Hope that helps.

 

[Mike Templeton]

With all due respect, this is not just a problem with your pool game and your slump may just be a physical manifestation of what I talk about. Seriously, if your friends cannot be encouraging and supportive and they take joy in making fun of you KNOWING it hurts you, you need new friends. I am really lucky to be able to say that MY friends have been nothing but supportive and complimentary to me and have always been there for me whenever I had doubts. When I'm playing in my homeroom against an outsider infront of MY friends, I will undoubtedly play better than if I were in a different environment. My friends make pool fun for me.

I agree with Jude here. And it may be that they are doing it somewhat in fun, or they don't realize how much you don't appreciate it. I would tell them in a nice way that I didn't enjoy their comments, and that I felt like it was hurting my game.

If they are your friends, they will ease off. If not, I'd find other friends.

Mike

 

[tigerallenyim]

Snorks:
Well as for your friends, it might mean that they are better. However insulting someone's intelligence is no friend at all. Moreover, if u had more time and experience and a BCA instructor, the situation would be probably much more different...
I've worked in a warehouse and had criticized someone's handling of operations. He had asked me the simple question of: could I do it myself better? And i replied, "No. Not atm. But given the same amount of time and experience, I know I can do it far better than you can... in my opinion: I can probably learn it faster, and yield better results." He had nothing to say after that.

Im wondering if ur league mates treat u differently? If u r in one that is. If so, have them provide u support. I mean, that is the idea of having a team right? When someone is in a slump it is a team's responsibility to do what they can to bring them back up. 'Don't let them make a fool out of you... the next time we are in the field, we'll hit it together.'

 

[PoolSponge]

Thanks Hu. This is through email, or just joking around. I find myself sometimes going with the joke saying I am terrible.. that's where I worry that my subconscious is possible affected. That's my main concern that somehow going with the joke is making the joke come true. I am 99.9% sure it is done in fun... I am also sure that if I'm in a tournament, I have the largest cheering section of anyone.

With that said, I will try to stop thinking negative thoughts... harder to do then say. The thought process, "don't mess up these last three balls", with something more positive.. play 7 ball in with inside, then 8 straight in stop, then 9... or whatever. And of course, trying to eliminate any other negatives.

Now, how to deal with the "guys"... that's the next challenge

Tell us would be my guess. For those of you not fortunate enough to have met Snorks he is one of the most genuine and nicest guys you will ever meet. He is a lot of fun and is incredibly mild mannered and funnier than most. I know the close group of friends we share and the constant banter that all endure for any and all shortcomings.

Tell you what Snorks, I will only make fun of your golf...because then you will truly know it is a joke and cannot possibly have that affect your confidence since you routinely beat me by at least, and I say at least, 5 strokes a round. He is a very good weekend golfer.

I will attempt in any way I can to steer the comments my way and hopefully take the pressure off of you. I couldnt care less what people say about my game one way or another. I am what I am and thats it.

Sorry if anything I ever said bothered you. I would not have ever made any type of jest at your expense had I known and you know that. Plus, I think the same would be said by any and all of your trusted friends. And for anyone reading this thread know that Snorks friends are truly great people with bigs hearts who would do anything for Snorks at a moments notice without even flinching. The group is, besides me, a bunch of very intelligent and extremely loyal friends who I know, this time including me, would never for a moment wish harm or insult to any person that brings so much to our lives as Snorks.
My appologies.

 

[!Smorgass Bored]

I'm Not Easily Offended.... imo

When I'm playing bad, I beat my friends to the punch. I'll say something like, "Man, this is the best I've played in a month.Even if I'm not hitting them REAL good, at least I'm still fat. I'm hungry now, but I didn't bring a bib and if I dribble on another shirt, my wife will kill me. With all my faults, I don't know what your wife/girlfriend sees in me. I wish she'd stop calling me at all hours of the day & night. She says your pool game is WAY better than your love making. How come your dog don't bark when I come around ? "

Doug

 

[cuesblues]

Very funny

When I'm playing bad, I beat my friends to the punch. I'll say something like, "Man, this is the best I've played in a month.Even if I'm not hitting them REAL good, at least I'm still fat. I'm hungry now, but I didn't bring a bib and if I dribble on another shirt, my wife will kill me. With all my faults, I don't know what your wife/girlfriend sees in me. I wish she'd stop calling me at all hours of the day & night. She says your pool game is WAY better than your love making. How come your dog don't bark when I come around ? "

Doug

Hey Doug

Can I use that one? Especially the one about the dog not barking.

In addition to a lot of good billiard stuff, now I am getting new material to use at the pool hall.

It's great to be an AZB member on Thanksgiving

 

[Billy_Bob]

...A friend of mine said that you always have to talk positively about your game to yourself, that you have to believe you are at another level, etc...

Yes VERY important to think positive about your playing AND be around people who talk positively about your playing.

We have all heard about hypnosis, well actually this can be used without someone being hypnotized. It is called "suggestion". And it works when using the word "you" in a statement.

Example: You are a good player! Every time you play, there is one very good shot you have made! You are improving!

I do not allow other people to say negative things about me using the word "you". PERIOD!

I understand they are "programming" me to be that way. Some people are selfish and WANT others to play bad so they can win. So they keep telling them how terrible they are. This is the way they want things to be. I consider this to be "psychological" sharking which is cheating.

So when someone says something negative, tell that person you would appreciate it if they would stop doing this. If they can't control themselves, then don't play with them. They are not your friends.

Play with people who are positive and say positive things about your playing. There are plenty of them out there.

With yourself, in every game you play, there will be good things. A good shot. Think about that. Perhaps a shot you have been practicing and shot well. Think about this. You are improving. You made that shot well. So good job! Pat yourself on the back!

If you play 10 games and made one shot which you have had difficulty with in the past, reward yourself! You are improving. Does not matter what the rest of the games were. Think about the progress you are making.

When playing I will have my "shot of the night". This is a shot I made which I am proud of. It does not matter if I lost every game. I am happy I made that one shot which I have been practicing and working on. Good job! I celebrate my success!

Note that as my playing has improved, the negative type people have stepped up their negative comments. Judging by their comments, I am playing 10 times worse than when I first started! Of course I know it is the opposite.

So when I *have* to play the negative people, I take their comments as a compliment. They want me to play bad more than ever! (And the only way they are going to win is by sharking others. Perhaps if they want to win, they should concentrate their energy on practice like I do...)

Also as you improve and start winning more and more games, you might notice other players are less and less friendly. Some will get to be out and out nasty. Take this as a compliment on your improved playing as well. When the personal insults start, then you know you are doing well!

So good work on your improvement!