Playing Pool After A Divorce

Take this advice..

JimS said:
Get some counseling. What you are experiencing is abnormal and you need some help to get past it. Do it soon.
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Well I thought about not opening this thread but I did, some funny replies for sure but I'd take the advice from this gentleman as he knows what he is talking about!!
Good Luck all will be well again..
Dan
 
Gunn_Slinger said:
That's a long time to be still feeling this bad, I hope that you
have someone you can go talk to about this and help you
move on to happier times.
hugs
mrs.g
after my first divorce I think I was doing the happy dance
for months, or years or still am,,,lol
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Well, you're obviously the marrying kind so I have to go with your suggestion. :wink:

JoeyA
 
No offense, but if you're still bummed about losing her 16 months down the road then you need something other than pool. Dude, get over it already. A lot of us have been down that road before. Your divorce isn't original or different. Time to move on.
MULLY
 
This is the best advice! Many people believe that only people who have problems seek professional help, from psychologists and psychiatrists. That's absolutely wrong! They are a wonderful avenue, that can help you through some of the toughest times you'll ever have...and worth every cent!

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com

JimS said:
Get some counseling. What you are experiencing is abnormal and you need some help to get past it. Do it soon.
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Shaft said:
Find a lady who likes to play pool.
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Shaft speaks the truth! :)

I got divorced at 23....I met my current most EXCELLENT wife of 15 years at the pool room. She LOVES pool, and pushed me to get my table put in our home. Many times we wake up on the weekend and she sais....hey, lets go down to D&D "our home room" and see whats going on!

I know how lucky I am....especially when she wants to make sweat bets with me on the streaming action!

wanna meet her?.....you gotta beat me!...we'll be at the EXPO this month....:)

Gerry
 
There are a lot of empathetic members on this forum who feel for you. Some good news: you may have set a record for most green rep with first post.
 
Well....

To everyone who said get over it, or joked about it trivially , while i can understand that maybe it was attempted humor, it's just not really the thing to say.
Heartache, TRUE heartache, knows no limitations.

If you were very deeply involved emotionally, it might be a lifetime wound.
I know several people who after years have not gotten over losing the one they loved, and there is nothing that anyone can do.

The best advice that has been given, is to go see a professional therapist.
16 months is a long time to be mourning, and a professional is by far the best person to make a determination of how you are doing emotionally.

The very act of talking about the story of ones life, in this case, the divorce, and the emotions you still have, and the way you feel about things....is in itself, therapeutic.
The act of talking about it and getting it off your chest, will make you feel better.
At the very least, you should give it a try, and see if it helps you out.

While the choice to go drown your sorrow with other things, such as women, alcohol, etc etc might be a good filler for someone that really didn't give a crap, it is not the solution and will most likely not do anything for the emptiness that you must truly feel if it's been 16 months.

If you do decide to possibly go find a therapist, i advise you to approach it with an open mind.

Good luck
 
Marriage can be one of the most beautiful things in the world, or the most terrible. It's intended to be a lifetime commitment, but often one partner doesn't have the stamina for "forever". It hurts the most if the divorce wasn't your idea, you were actually planning on forever, but your spouse was just killing time.

Remember, the ones we love the most have the power to hurt us more than anyone else, so be VERY careful who you love.
 
I've been there man, and it's a *****. I was married once and we used to play pool together all the time. That was when I first started playing. I was also deeply in love with her and 100% committed. Evidently she wasn't though. She was overseas for a military deployment, hooked up with a guy and the rest is history. We've been divorced for a number of years now and it still hurts. I quit playing pool for most of that time and have only picked it up again in the last few months.

Some people thought I just needed to "get over it" but I couldn't. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I did, I just couldn't get there in my head. It's taken me a handful of years but I'm doing good now, enjoying the game again and really getting on with my life. Hang in there, it will come. Just don't try to force it as it won't work and will likely only make it harder. Do what you love, whether that is pool or something else for now. I used to be heavily into photography too and have lost the drive ever since we split. Not sure that creative drive will ever return and I've accepted that. I'm really happy to have found pool again though and I'm enjoying the hell out of it :)
 
Wow! Whay a place to pour your heart out.

I've always said, "If your life's a mess, your games a mess." Hopefully both of them will get better in time.
 
SUPERSTAR said:
To everyone who said get over it, or joked about it trivially , while i can understand that maybe it was attempted humor, it's just not really the thing to say.
Heartache, TRUE heartache, knows no limitations.
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Well put Superstar.
 
Thanks for all the advice...There is alot more to the story but I know this isnt the place for it...I plan on attending Valley Forge...I hope to see some of you there and good luck....
 
PoolRookie said:
I know some people require more time than others to recoup after a divorce.. But I know this may sound pathetic to some but Its been 16 months and I can't play nowhere near the level I played while married. I was a APA 7 now I play like a 5 or less..I can't get the thought of losing the one I loved even more than pool out of my head while playing..My question is has anyone experienced this and how long is this expected to last?
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This may not solve your problem, but it could be worse. My X divorced me 18 months ago after 19 years of marriage. The little darling took the $360k she took me for and bought the house across the street. True story.
 
pool

It took me a while after my divorce to be able tp play again < but thats because we played together in league and such. But time will change all < you will be soon pocketing balls again. :thumbup:
 
donthat said:
This may not solve your problem, but it could be worse. My X divorced me 18 months ago after 19 years of marriage. The little darling took the $360k she took me for and bought the house across the street. True story.
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Put some raw shrimp or fish inside her curtain rods when she's not home.

The seafood will start to rot soon, and she'll NEVER figure out where the smell is coming from. :grin-devilish:

I predict she'll be selling the house within a month....:thumbup:
 
Only time heals a broken heart.

What I suggest has nothing to do with playing pool. I suggest getting back out there and have some fun. Don't walk back to a pool table until you're having a good time with life again because if you're just not into playing, then you are just going through the motions and if you're doing that you are wasting your time.

One thing I learned through both heartache and mourning is that the world doesn't stop turning because you're having a bad day. The best you can do is to learn something positive from it. In the case of heartache it really can be any number of things from positive things learned from being with a negative person to positive things learned from being with a positive person. In the case of mourning it has always been to be happy that you were a part of their life while they were around.
 
Do you know why divorces cost so much????
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BECAUSE THEY ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
 
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