pool's greatest one liners & quotes

This is more of a hustle than a saying. I was in Toledo in the 90s and Richie Rich was matched up with someone and I saw Jack Cooney so I walked over to watch as he was matched up with a guy. The room owner came up to me and said, hey you want to make a little sweat bet for a hundred or two and I said sure. He said I will even let you pick your horse. I said ok and pointed to Cooney and said, I will take that guy for $200. He says no bet, you picked the wrong guy:-).
 
When I worked in the pool hall, many years ago, I heard a saying that was crude but got plenty of laughs. I don't know who originated it, but it became quite popular. When somebody was kicking some serious azz, they sometimes told their opponent, "you play pool like old people fu#k...everything in but the balls!"
 
Just read through this thread again and I'm surprised no one has told this story. I haven't had my coffee yet so for the life of me I can't remember who the player was that was involved (maybe Wimpy?).

Anyway, a player walks into a strange room and gets a money match with a local favorite who found someone to stake him. The stranger wins the lag and proceeds to run out the set on the local guy from the opening break. The local guy's backer witnesses this and says, "That's it, I'm out. You can't beat this guy." The local turns to his backer and says, "How would you know, you haven't seen me play yet."

Someone please tell me who this story is attributed to.;)
 
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My all time favorite qoute (pool related):

Playing pool is like an obese couple having sex - position is everything! :D

Can't quite remember who said that...heard it in some match commentary...
 
Then of course, there is this well known quote from Joe Rogan from the TAR interview while he was possessed by the spirit of Earl Strickland: "Pool is a beautiful game played by ugly people."
 
One I use once in a while. When your opponent is standing there staring at the balls trying to figure out what he should do. Taking way to long to decide. I might say " are you trying to use telekinesis". Some think it's funny and some don't.
 
DogsPlayingPool said:
Then of course, there is this well known quote from Joe Rogan from the TAR interview while he was possessed by the spirit of Earl Strickland: "Pool is a beautiful game played by ugly people."
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I personally heard Earl say something very similar "pool is a wonderful game, a wonderful game-It's the people-the people in it who are.......................... (some negative thing- not sure of the exact words). Joe Rogan was nowhere around when he said that so i suspect Earl said it often.
 
I miss an easy bank shot. My brother says "the bank is closed.... make a night deposit, you will make it tomorrow"
 
Nostroke said:
I personally heard Earl say something very similar "pool is a wonderful game, a wonderful game-It's the people-the people in it who are.......................... (some negative thing- not sure of the exact words). Joe Rogan was nowhere around when he said that so i suspect Earl said it often.
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Yeah, I don't know if Joe was quoting Earl or if he came up with it on his own. I was at the US Open 10 Ball a couple of years ago and was wearing the TAR shirt with that quote on it. Earl saw my shirt and went off on how he had said that and he should be getting royalties from it and so on...

In any event, it's a great line whoever said it. :D
 
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I'm sweating a couple action matches one night in Tallahassee. Scottie Townsend is one of the matches. In the other match, I don't remember who it was, One of the guys is getting the brakes beat off him. While on a break between sets the guy getting drilled in the other match starts telling Scottie about how is gonna beat the guy this way and that way and rob him. Scottie looks at him and say " I see better than I hear " and turns and walks away. Classic Scottie, my favorite line to use now when people are woofin
 
Shane Van Boening was at Hard Times several years ago. He walks up to Bernardo Chavez and says " Hey King Kong. Do you want to play Godzilla?"
 
DogsPlayingPool said:
Just read through this thread again and I'm surprised no one has told this story. I haven't had my coffee yet so for the life of me I can't remember who the player was that was involved (maybe Wimpy?).

Anyway, a player walks into a strange room and gets a money match with a local favorite who found someone to stake him. The stranger wins the lag and proceeds to run out the set on the local guy from the opening break. The local guy's backer witnesses this and says, "That's it, I'm out. You can't beat this guy." The local turns to his backer and says, "How would you know, you haven't seen me play yet."

Someone please tell me who this story is attributed to.;)
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The first time i ever read it was in Willie Mosconis book. He was eating with Ponzi i think and some hustler comes in and challenges Poniz to 9 ball and he didnt want to be bothered so Willie played the guy and beat him like 9 straight and the backer quit and the player said "You havent seen what i can do yet".
Thats the only place i remember reading it.
 
Toncam said:
The first time i ever read it was in Willie Mosconis book. He was eating with Ponzi i think and some hustler comes in and challenges Poniz to 9 ball and he didnt want to be bothered so Willie played the guy and beat him like 9 straight and the backer quit and the player said "You havent seen what i can do yet".
Thats the only place i remember reading it.
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That's it! Thanks. I thought it was Mosconi but couldn't remember exactly and the idea of Willie walking in to a random room and matching up with some stranger (especially 9 Ball) for cash didn't fit.

Appreciate it. :thumbup:
 
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a local lifetime pool and card hustler from my town used to have tons of stories,and would entertain us for hours wigth them,he would have $10,000 on him one day and borrowing $20 from you the next day after losing it all. We were talking about a local rooms tables and how big the pockets were, and he says"if you cant make balls in those pockets, you arent safe to drive home"...lol...he used to bring great players to our town to try and win a little money with them,he brought Cliff Joyner one time,Donny Branson, and lots of other good shortstops. He would go to Chicago and bet the horses and set up card games with guys who had lots of money that were fixed games, the ole 4 brothers and a stranger hustle...lol....one of my favorite lines is from the color of money when Forest Whitacre says,after he beats Eddie,"hey do you think i need to lose a little weight", i didnt realize he was talking about a spot at the time,i thought he was really talking about lbs.,i was a newby to pool at the time....lol...and McCready and his"awe take them on off man i cant get there",he really said that line the first time i saw him at the Derby, so JAM you need to get the old boy playing again, we miss his entertaining personality...lol
 
DogsPlayingPool said:
That's it! Thanks. I thought it was Mosconi but couldn't remember exactly and the idea of Willie walking in to a random room and matching up with some stranger (especially 9 Ball) for cash didn't fit.

Appreciate it. :thumbup:
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Youre welcome. It is a good story, lol.
I think know the name of the guy who played him, it was Joe Sebastian, i believe i read something about him in an issue of Billiards Digest, that im sure of.
 
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