The Whole Joint Got Hustled

!Smorgass Bored

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An oldie, but a goodie, posted by me almost 12 years ago in RSB. This is for the young uns:

I made up the name SONRA (using an 8 ball as the 'O') when Billy Songy and Billy Rainey were preparing to open a lounge/poolroom in New Orleans (Kenner).

On any given night, you might find a who's who of pool in the joint, such as Buddy Hall, Benny "The Goose", Bill Stack, New York Blackie, Cliff Brown, Whoppie, Painter, Dan Louie and me and my running buddies and anyone that played pool in New Orleans.

From 1997:
Subject: Bar Bets (Hoist On Your Own Petard)


One night I was hanging out at the Sonra Lounge (tucked in behind the cinema and on a canal) on Vets Hwy. in New Orleans,it was THE action spot from the mid 70's to the mid 80's and EVERY form of hustle was run
AND bet on in this bar.

On this particular night a stranger says to everyone and no-one in particular," I can KNOCK DOWN the headpin in a bowling alley with a playing card." Twenty heads swiveled at the same time to see who had made this claim.
The stranger says," I'll stand at the foul line and I get to throw the complete deck and I'll knock the front pin over." So, right away I pipe up with ,"yeah,you'll leave all the cards in the box and throw the whole box."(Which would still be a pretty neat trick) The stranger says," no,I'm going to throw the cards ONE card at a time and I get to use the whole deck." So, once again I butt in and say," sure,you're going to tape one of the cards to a bowling ball or some other object and then throw it and knock over the pin." He says,"Nope,it will be knocked over with only one card or else I lose."

Well, it just so happens that there's a bowling alley about 3-4 blocks up the street, which is closed,BUT,the manager comes to this bar every night after closing and is willing to re-open for all of us to make this bet (plus he wants some of the action too).
Well, everybody in the bar puts up all the cash they can afford and Billy takes some cash from the register and since no-one will stay and keep an eye on the bar,they close up and 25-30 people (poolplayers mostly and a few degenerate gamblers) empty the parking lot and drive down to the bowling alley. Since there's thirty of
us and only two of them and WE'RE holding the money,we aren't about to lose because of the "wording" of this bet. After all, there's over a $1000 riding on this.

Well, what none of us knew then (but we do now) is that a bowling pin is not completely FLAT on the bottom and this stranger,squatted down low and slung the 1st card out of a brand new deck AND lo & behold, it slid UNDER the front edge of that pin. And as he continued to throw,each subsequent card slid at what looked like a
hundred miles an hour and landed under the pin OR a previously thrown card. After a few more throws,you could see the light dawning on the faces of thirty very unhappy campers (including my total net worth betting ass) The pin started to lean and while still holding a few cards the next throw toppled the pin.You could have heard a pin drop ( I just COULDN'T resist the pun) as the banker handed over all our cash. I mean , he did what he claimed and he got paid.

That night was one of the saddest nights ever back at the Sonra Lounge as everyone sat around bumming drinks and blaming each other for taking the bet. I'd like to say that it was the last time I went tapped betting on someone's hustle,but I'd be lying. Once a sucker,always a
sucker. Oh, and long before he was on TV, Harry Anderson came in on the hustle and snagged quite a few of us (he shot pretty good pool too). I believe that he was arrested while he was in N.O.
Also, Waylon Flowers came in and got drunk after his last local performance and then sent a gofer back to his hotel room for his puppet "MADAME" (the old-broad puppet,from Hollywood Squares) and put on the FUNNIEST most risque' show that I've ever seen in my life. What a dirty mouth on that old broad.
Someday,I'll tell you about the guy that swallowed the pool stick.


Doug
(*<~ Big Fish EAT Little Fish ~>*)



*Happy 64th Birthday to Pelican today.

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beetle

Do I bug you?
Silver Member
That's worth the bet just to see someone throw a card that far, with accuracy.
By the way, below, you meant bowling PIN (I was struggling for awhile trying to imagine a flat bowling ball. I kept thinking of the Flinstones but that's all I could come up with....

Smorgass Bored said:
Well, what none of us knew then (but we do now) is that a bowling ball is not completely FLAT on the bottom ...
 

!Smorgass Bored

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beetle said:
By the way, below, you meant bowling PIN (I was struggling for awhile trying to imagine a flat bowling ball. I kept thinking of the Flinstones but that's all I could come up with....


LOL :) Thanks, I fixed it.
D.
 

Thunderball

Auto rep for belly laughs
Silver Member
Cool story Smorg.

I gotta say,even after hearing the explanation and result,I'd lose money on this today if it came up.

Amazing feat for sure.
 

Jude Rosenstock

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I used to tell people I could pocket a spotted ball with a ping-pong ball in 50 shots or less. It's been a long time but I had it down. I knew i could do it in something like 24-26 shots on new cloth.
 

rossaroni

AzB Gold Member
Gold Member
Silver Member
Thunderball said:
Cool story Smorg.

I gotta say,even after hearing the explanation and result,I'd lose money on this today if it came up.

Amazing feat for sure.

I am going to practice this and come down to SC when I have it down!:wink:
 

!Smorgass Bored

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And, I 'Might' Bet On It Again........TODAY (I'm a glutton for punishment)

Thunderball said:
Cool story Smorg.

I gotta say,even after hearing the explanation and result,I'd lose money on this today if it came up.

Amazing feat for sure.


Well, here is the gist of the feat:
The fellow squatted down and fired the cards one at a time down the lane at warp speed with a high degree of accuracy

Now, I don't bowl, so these figures are just guesstimates.
Say that the base of the bowling pin is 4" across and a playing card is also 4" long. The first card stuck under the pin, but not 'perfectly', some of the card extended out to the right of the pin.

The next few cards stuck under the pin and previous cards thrown, until there was about a 12" 'target' of cards lodged under the pin. Before he ran out of cards, he toppled the pin.......and our bankrolls. VIOLA !

Doug
(it's still not EASY..... imo) :)
 

wahcheck

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
thank you

nice story.......I agree it's still amazing and pretty incredible that somebody could flip those cards for that distance with accuracy......Was that the entire length of the bowling lane from behind the foul line? Not sure how many feet that is, but it sure seems like a long distance to flip those cards right under the pin.......

Now, if you please, I'd like to see the story of somebody swallowing a cue stick...........
 

!Smorgass Bored

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All My Stories Are TRUE

wahcheck said:
nice story.......I agree it's still amazing and pretty incredible that somebody could flip those cards for that distance with accuracy......Was that the entire length of the bowling lane from behind the foul line? Not sure how many feet that is, but it sure seems like a long distance to flip those cards right under the pin.......

Now, if you please, I'd like to see the story of somebody swallowing a cue stick...........


Well, swallowing the stick wasn't a bar bet or a hustle. It was about a mile down the road from the bar in the previous story at another little pool joint that had coin tables and a bumper pool table.

Once a week they held a talent contest and gave away a bar tab. You had your usual gathering of New Orleans drunkards and gamblers. There were singers, jugglers, comedians, magicians, etc. (at least, they 'thought' they had these skills).

My brother, my running buddies and I were sitting at an up front table heckling the participants and laughing our asses off at them.......... but THEN:
A drunk ass, playing bumper pool, leaps up on the stage unannounced and tilts his head back and while holding a bumper cue by the shaft (up by the tip) begins to open and close his fingers, allowing the cue to slip into his mouth.

I quickly looked at the length of the cue and the distance from his mouth to his azzhole and shouted that he would NEVER get to 'the points' on the cue. He kept going and going and we rose to our feet clapping and cheering him on. More and more disappeared, until whole place was going wild screaming for the poor skinny drunk.

He got all but the last few inches down his throat (I was looking to see if it was poking the the seat of his pants out).
When it came time to vote on the contestants by applauding while the MC held a hand over their head........he was the overwhelming Winner.

Doug
(I told my tablemates that if I could do THAT, I'd never have to pay for another drink again) :)

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Pinocchio

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
???????????

This trick is so unbelieveable it would work in any day an time. For hustles this is very unusual its a total skill. I don't even see how anyone could throw a card the lenght of a bowling lane. I doubt nothing you say Smorg an I wish I could have been there. I believe I would have to take a dose of this action. Is this like Aprils Fool day or something like that?
Pinocchio
Did I just win a prize?
 

!Smorgass Bored

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And now, the REST of the story:

The owners would make everyone stop playing pool while the talent show was on.....SO
One night we were at the bar with talent contest and I was ripped on Black Russians. I didn't (don't) have any skills or talents, but I was determined to win a bar tab.

I opened a bar napkin and with a Marks-A-Lot, I drew a face on the napkin. I tied the four corners of the napkin into little knots and put the napkin hand puppet over my fist and got onstage to do my ventriloquist act (it didn't dawn on me in my drunken state that I WASN'T a ventriloquist and I didn't HAVE an act).... :)

I got up on the stage and began to have a screaming match with the napkin puppet about whether or not 'we' should get up on the stage and do our act. My mouth was moving when I or the puppet was speaking. My friends were rolling on the floor laughing and the crowd was getting into it. I was a big hit and sure winner... imo

When it came time for the voting, I lost to a fat girl that sang "Summertime."

Doug
( I shoulda learned to swallow a cue stick)
 

SpiderWebComm

HelpImBeingOppressed
Silver Member
That sounds like a great hustle. I can't imagine flicking a card that far and that accurate. That guy deserves it. I'd be lucky to get just a few cards anywhere near a pin that far away.
 
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