To Don Purdy/Woof Woof

[Matt_24]

Don,

I'm tired of all the PM's trash talking me because you beat me at one set of One Pocket!

Don, You shoot so bad you couldn't get out of a wet paper bag with a butcher knife! I'd have to give your old ass some viagra just to get you motivated enough to hobble to the table. My blind 99 year old grandmother could play you one handed, give you 9-6 and the breaks and still bust you!

We can play any game you want, whenever you want...just make a trip to the bank and POST IT!

Ok..just kidding. I just thought I would post this after your last hilarious pm. Just wanted to stir some sh*t up. You're my boy and you know I would never gamble with you. Just wanted to talk some trash. Heck..if I might never be invited over again. Besides...there is a lot easier action at Champions. Playing one pocket with you on your home table is equivalent to french kissing a rattlesnake...I just don't want to do it! The guy doesn't miss a bank...and we've already played at least one or two games before I have a feel for the table. Just terrible. On neutral ground I *might* like my chances a bit better.

Alright, to actually lead this thread in a general direction, what are some of the funniest "WOOF" lines or sessions you AZ members have been a part of or bore witness to. Keith McCready, you've GOT to add to this thread. I know you can probably woof as good as, if not better than anyone!

 

[vapoolplayer]

Alright, to actually lead this thread in a general direction, what are some of the funniest "WOOF" lines or sessions you AZ members have been a part of or bore witness to. Keith McCready, you've GOT to add to this thread. I know you can probably woof as good as, if not better than anyone!

i like asking someone if they are going to play with or without the ski mask(i.e. they're robbing me)

called a guy the "nutless wonder" once......that was good.


as far as being witness...........i've witnessed quite a few classic keith woofing sessions that left me and quite a few other people rolling on the floor.

VAP

 

[Colin Colenso]

In doubles I used to call my partners 'lantern'.

When asked I would explain, 'cause he's not real bright and I have to carry him'.

Is that actually a woof? I've never heard of the term.

 

[Purdman]

Don,

I'm tired of all the PM's trash talking me because you beat me at one set of One Pocket!

Don, You shoot so bad you couldn't get out of a wet paper bag with a butcher knife! I'd have to give your old ass some viagra just to get you motivated enough to hobble to the table. My blind 99 year old grandmother could play you one handed, give you 9-6 and the breaks and still bust you!

We can play any game you want, whenever you want...just make a trip to the bank and POST IT!

Ok..just kidding. I just thought I would post this after your last hilarious pm. Just wanted to stir some sh*t up. You're my boy and you know I would never gamble with you. Just wanted to talk some trash. Heck..if I might never be invited over again. Besides...there is a lot easier action at Champions. Playing one pocket with you on your home table is equivalent to french kissing a rattlesnake...I just don't want to do it! The guy doesn't miss a bank...and we've already played at least one or two games before I have a feel for the table. Just terrible. On neutral ground I *might* like my chances a bit better.

Alright, to actually lead this thread in a general direction, what are some of the funniest "WOOF" lines or sessions you AZ members have been a part of or bore witness to. Keith McCready, you've GOT to add to this thread. I know you can probably woof as good as, if not better than anyone!

Man, you call this woofing.
DUDE

Man, I will put something on you that AJAX won't take off. I got a gear you have never seen. I will shoot your eyes right out of your young punk ass head.
I am just kidding with ya buddy. Actually, you would rather french kiss a rattle snake than go at it in 9 ball with me.
Hope you are having a great day.
You really want to gamble with me. That's really fucked. You know I would just give you your money back.
Purdman


You won the first 2 games. I don't know what you been smoking but you should at least share! The young lad won 1 game of 8 ball and 2 games of 1 pocket out of 11 games. Lost 8 games of 1 hole rather quickly I might add.
Purdman
Then he quit like my first date. As soon as I got started, she wanted to quit.
WOOF< WOOF my ass!!!!!

 

[Matt_24]

Man, you call this woofing.
DUDE

Man, I will put something on you that AJAX won't take off. I got a gear you have never seen. I will shoot your eyes right out of your young punk ass head.
I am just kidding with ya buddy. Actually, you would rather french kiss a rattle snake than go at it in 9 ball with me.
Hope you are having a great day.
You really want to gamble with me. That's really fucked. You know I would just give you your money back.
Purdman


You won the first 2 games. I don't know what you been smoking but you should at least share! The young lad won 1 game of 8 ball and 2 games of 1 pocket out of 11 games. Lost 8 games of 1 hole rather quickly I might add.
Purdman
Then he quit like my first date. As soon as I got started, she wanted to quit.
WOOF< WOOF my ass!!!!!

Whoah...whoah..whoah........I love how that score all of the sudden got REAL lopsided. It was 7 - 4...we besides the one game of last pocket 8 ball (which I won)..so we could call it 4-4, but I don't count the 8 ball game. 11 games...sheesh. Are you starting to get Alzheimers there Don?

You know I wouldn't gamble with you Don. That wouldn't be any fun. But I promise I'm going to spank you at one pocket next time we play. We're going to play on MY homecourt and see how ya' like it. If you got the guts to hobble your elderly ass out to Champions...you've got action. But we can play for table time or dinner. I don't want your money!

 

[Egg McDogit]

look at you 2 local champions!! oh man even the thought of matching up with either one of you is giving me butterflies and making my arm shake RIGHT NOW. you guys play 1-hole?!?!? you must move like champions and make 80 degree cuts LIKE NOTHING. And you definitely know the game better than a beginner like me. I will need a MONSTROUS spot to EVEN ENTERTAIN the idea of thinking about talking with you guys about a matchup...even for McD's (unless it's from the dollar menu and 1 doublecheeseburger does it for you). They say I am outrunning the nuts if I win getting the 5-out, breaks, and ball in hand - to give you guys a starting point =)

Whoah...whoah..whoah........I love how that score all of the sudden got REAL lopsided. It was 7 - 4...we besides the one game of last pocket 8 ball (which I won)..so we could call it 4-4, but I don't count the 8 ball game. 11 games...sheesh. Are you starting to get Alzheimers there Don?

You know I wouldn't gamble with you Don. That wouldn't be any fun. But I promise I'm going to spank you at one pocket next time we play. We're going to play on MY homecourt and see how ya' like it. If you got the guts to hobble your elderly ass out to Champions...you've got action. But we can play for table time or dinner. I don't want your money!

 

[Egg McDogit]

it doesn't even come CLOSE to the keith karaoke session

as far as being witness...........i've witnessed quite a few classic keith woofing sessions that left me and quite a few other people rolling on the floor.

VAP

 

[Purdman]

it doesn't even come CLOSE to the keith karaoke session

Egg, the guy couldn't make a ball on a bet. My table plays better than most of em out there. Maybe we can play some partners with jaz and Matt soon. That is if anybody will take Matt as a partner. I guess we could draw pills to make it fair. Spread his no playing ass around a little. Hell, maybe he might learn something. I am waiting for jhendri2 to come into town too.
I love them $1 double cheeseburgers. That's my limit though. 2 Mc. D. doublecheese burgers. I might even smoke up an octopus for ya. Matt liked it. Next time I am gonna serve him CROW.
Purdman

 

[jhendri2]

Egg, the guy couldn't make a ball on a bet. My table plays better than most of em out there. Maybe we can play some partners with jaz and Matt soon. That is if anybody will take Matt as a partner. I guess we could draw pills to make it fair. Spread his no playing ass around a little. Hell, maybe he might learn something. I am waiting for jhendri2 to come into town too.
I love them $1 double cheeseburgers. That's my limit though. 2 Mc. D. doublecheese burgers. I might even smoke up an octopus for ya. Matt liked it. Next time I am gonna serve him CROW.
Purdman

You're waiting on me...after reading all this, I need the break and 10-6 . I should be there next month.

Jim

 

[Purdman]

You're waiting on me...after reading all this, I need the break and 10-6 . I should be there next month.

Jim

I am trying to set something up for ya. Will ya take Matt as a partner? I think it would be cool to get together with 3 other AZers for some good ol pool.
Hope ya don't mind.
Purdman

 

[JoeyA]

Down south, calling your partners "lantern" is called "sticking him with the needle". Woofing is what you do when your partner (who is losing) wants to quit because of the loss of cash and your "needling"; and you berate him until he agrees to continue playing. Successful woofing can also bring in fresh meat for your doubles game. ;-)
joeyA

In doubles I used to call my partners 'lantern'.

When asked I would explain, 'cause he's not real bright and I have to carry him'.

Is that actually a woof? I've never heard of the term.

 

[hemicudas]

Down south, calling your partners "lantern" is called "sticking him with the needle". Woofing is what you do when your partner (who is losing) wants to quit because of the loss of cash and your "needling"; and you berate him until he agrees to continue playing. Successful woofing can also bring in fresh meat for your doubles game. ;-)
joeyA

Love the avatar, Joey. Tell Hump hello.

 

[gwvavases]

I am trying to set something up for ya. Will ya take Matt as a partner? I think it would be cool to get together with 3 other AZers for some good ol pool.
Hope ya don't mind.
Purdman

I'm heading back that way (for good) in September, Don. Bringin my table with me. Gonna drag it behind my car from California if I have to. You know I'm not experienced at one-pocket, but you didn't beat me TOO bad when you and I played last October. Wait...didn't I beat YOU?

 

[Purdman]

I'm heading back that way (for good) in September, Don. Bringin my table with me. Gonna drag it behind my car from California if I have to. You know I'm not experienced at one-pocket, but you didn't beat me TOO bad when you and I played last October. Wait...didn't I beat YOU?

As a matter of fact, you did win. Ain't I a great host. I have known Matt for a while so I gave him my B game. You got my C game. My wife gets my D game. I am glad you are moving back. Then we can even up the score. Take care now and give me a shout if I can help ya with anything. Do you know where you are going to move to?
Don

 

[hustlefinger]

Alright, to actually lead this thread in a general direction, what are some of the funniest "WOOF" lines or sessions you AZ members have been a part of or bore witness to.

I’ve always liked ‘you couldn’t play dead in a western’.

Don’t know who originally said it, but it’s always good for a laugh.

Rick

 

[jhendri2]

I am trying to set something up for ya. Will ya take Matt as a partner? I think it would be cool to get together with 3 other AZers for some good ol pool.
Hope ya don't mind.
Purdman

Sounds good to me. As long as I'm playing pool I'm happy.

Jim

 

[Colin Colenso]

Down south, calling your partners "lantern" is called "sticking him with the needle". Woofing is what you do when your partner (who is losing) wants to quit because of the loss of cash and your "needling"; and you berate him until he agrees to continue playing. Successful woofing can also bring in fresh meat for your doubles game. ;-)
joeyA

Thanks for the clarification Joey. I'm a keen student of American English

 

[Egg McDogit]

lol oh man sounds like fun. All this talking is making me wanna play But Matt/Jaz don't forget that I'm a beginner. I'm a 9ball ball-banger...sometimes I'll even forget I'm playing 1-hole and fire the 1 into your pocket and crudely attempt to play shape for the 2! man I wouldn't know the right shot if Purdy showed me a 3-D CAD diagram of it and coached me!! My idea of moving is leaving the rock froze to the rail...in front of my own pocket!!! And you should see me try to bank...sometimes I'll hit it so bad with such bad speed it'll 2 rail into your pocket...and then the rock will fly around the table and I'll end up selling out!! so you guys should give us 10-5, the breaks, and let us rack our own...I mean me playing with Purdy is gonna cost him about 5 or more balls alone...plus another ball or 2 for psychological trauma and pressure...I'm just trying to make it fair!

Egg, the guy couldn't make a ball on a bet. My table plays better than most of em out there. Maybe we can play some partners with jaz and Matt soon. That is if anybody will take Matt as a partner. I guess we could draw pills to make it fair. Spread his no playing ass around a little. Hell, maybe he might learn something. I am waiting for jhendri2 to come into town too.
I love them $1 double cheeseburgers. That's my limit though. 2 Mc. D. doublecheese burgers. I might even smoke up an octopus for ya. Matt liked it. Next time I am gonna serve him CROW.
Purdman

 

[Matt_24]

As a matter of fact, you did win. Ain't I a great host. I have known Matt for a while so I gave him my B game. You got my C game. My wife gets my D game. I am glad you are moving back. Then we can even up the score. Take care now and give me a shout if I can help ya with anything. Do you know where you are going to move to?
Don

Your B game. WHATEVER. Don't fail to mention this was the FIRST time you'd EVER gotten the best of me, and that's because I haven't been playing for a year (well, going from everyday to once a week). You can take your wrinkled old, no -shootin', half-blind, snaggle toothed....viagra taking, walker using...ass to the bank and post it anytime!!!! We can have an AZ audience and then see "who" wants to choose "who" for a partner gramps!!!

You could give 9-6 on trash talk, that is for SURE! ;P

Matt

 

[Matt_24]

look at you 2 local champions!! oh man even the thought of matching up with either one of you is giving me butterflies and making my arm shake RIGHT NOW. you guys play 1-hole?!?!? you must move like champions and make 80 degree cuts LIKE NOTHING. And you definitely know the game better than a beginner like me. I will need a MONSTROUS spot to EVEN ENTERTAIN the idea of thinking about talking with you guys about a matchup...even for McD's (unless it's from the dollar menu and 1 doublecheeseburger does it for you). They say I am outrunning the nuts if I win getting the 5-out, breaks, and ball in hand - to give you guys a starting point =)

5-out and the breaks huh?...well, you've got me real tempted but I'll let Don take that action down. I'm a nice guy like that.