Nice stories John, nice to hear it was important for Earl to find you and sign the case, you are giving to your son. The cat story is priceless, Earl rocks.
Hey John,sorry I don't mean to hijack your thread but since we are sharing the nice side of Earl stories. This one is in my book that I hope to get out at some point and I may have shared before but its another Earl/Cat Story.
Chapter 4
Earl and Jazzy
I had been on the road with Earl, Corey Deuel, Hillbilly and John Schmidt. Somehow we all ended up at my house in Phoenix for a few days. One by one everyone made their way home except Earl, so it was just him and me, no problem there as the golf was on TV and so we spent most of our time watching that. The fridge was stocked with food and drink and I told Earl to just help himself to anything he needed.
The evening came around and we were just sat chatting on the patio and here comes a cat over the wall. A cat I have never seen before but it obviously belonged to someone as it had a collar and a tag. Earl being the cat lover picks it up right away and looks at the collar. The tag has a phone number that isn't readable but in big bold letters "Jazzy".
The conversation went like this
E: "He looks hungry and scared, let’s take him inside and get him something to eat"
M: "NO WAY Earl, we don't know anything about this cat and if we feed it it won't ever leave"
E: "But he looks hungry and if he gets on the road he might get hurt"
M: "I don't think so man he has made it this far"
E: "But he is hungry"
M: Earl the cat is as big as a house, I am sure he is not hungry. On top of that I don't want that cat in my house it could claw the leather couch or shit and piss all over"
E: "He won't"
M: How do you know are you the ****ing cat whisperer now? We don't even know the cat"
E: "Yeah we do, his name is Jazzy"
M: "NO way"
E: " So you gonna just let it starve and get hit by a car then??"
M: "Yup"
E: "T-Wheels, you have no heart at all do you?"
E: Ok, well it’s on your conscience if anything happens to Jazzy, I'm gonna get something to eat"
At this point Earl goes to the fridge and pulls out a chicken breast (A nice thick one, not the little ones you get out of a bag) he seasons it and puts it on the grill and once its cooked he begins to cut it into small pieces and takes it out to the patio and puts it on the ground for Jazzy.
M: "Hey man what you doing??"
E: "**** you man he’s hungry"
M: "Jesus Earl, I'm never gonna get rid of him now"
E: “we should let him in still"
M: "NO!"
Earl continues to plead Jazzy's case for a few minutes like he is defending a client on trial for his life. Finally I see how to put an end to this.
M: 'Ok, so you are positive 100% that Jazzy will not claw my couch, shit, piss or do anything that will cause damage to my place?"
E: "Yes, positive"
M: "Alright then I will make a deal with you. Jazzy can come in but if it does one little tiny bit of damage to anything you give me 2 grand to cover it"
E: "Ok"
M: "Wait a second, post it"
E: "What???"
M: "Post it"
E; "Are you crazy??"
M: "What’s wrong with that this is all a gamble so Post it"
E: "I don't have 2k on me"
M: "Yeah, ****ing air barrel on the cat"
E: "I will give you the money"
M: "Ok, but I mean it"
So I was really hoping at this point that the cat would do something cos the couch probably ain't worth 2k anymore and I had my eye on plasma for my bedroom. Well Jazzy was well behaved and Earl ended up playing with him most of the night.
I call Earl now every time Jazzy shows up at the house and even took a picture of it and sent it to him. Jazzy seems to like it here and shows up and makes a very loud MEOW constantly until I feed it some tuna. I have even started buying the crappy cheap tuna at the store for when he shows up cos he won't just go away he makes such a noise. Sometimes Earl does not like it when I call him to just say Jazzy is here. However I figure that if I got to listen to it he should too. So that’s the time that Jazzy almost made me 2k from the Pearl.