What are your favorite

jay helfert said:
A few of my favorite Keithisms,

After the break shot and the balls are still rolling, "Take your places!"

When the cue ball is slowly rolling into position, "Get your driver's license!"

After a miss by his opponent and the balls are wide open (this is my all time favorite), "Time to get the troops out of the hot sun!"

And there were many more where those came from.
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Where is JAM when you need her:) :)
 
SirBanksALot said:
True story-

Many, many years ago at the old Golden Cue in Phoenix, after having won a nice chunk of dinero, the loser told the winner that he had no money and couldn't pay.

The winner said - "If you don't beg, borrow or steal that cash, I'm going to stick that 9 ball so far down your mouth, you'll have to stick a cuestick up your arse to shoot it out!"

He had his money about an hour later.
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And in the same room, around Christmas a guy came in selling pottery pots with hangers (you know, buy for wife or girlfriend as a Christmas present). Well he had a little money, which he lost, then he was betting his employers merchandise. I had a truck load of pottery with hangers that I had to give away all 'cause he said and believed (for awhile)

"I know I can beat you":rolleyes:
 
In a local tourney I had my opponent down 3-0, and his buddy, who I've played against in league for a couple of years, says out loud (while my opponent is racking for the 4th time), "he's a GOLFER! I don't think you want any of him in that either!!!"...

it was really funny at the time... :)
 
8ballEinstein said:
"I only like two things - sex and pool. I like sex better since you don't have to keep one foot on the floor."
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but in pool there's no need for latex on your stick....:p :D
 
better rolls

A friend of mine always says he get better rolls than a
danish bakery ;)
 
After I blow a safety "Thats the rarely used leave em' straight in, bet they can't run out, safety. "

After missing the shot trying to break out the tied up balls and missing the break-out too "Option B!!! Miss it and let him figure it out."

After sloping in a ball "And for my next trick..."

After hooking myself and then kicking in the next ball "Shape's for people that can't shoot."

After missing "Glad I missed that one, I don't know how in the hell I was gonna get out from there."

These only come out when playing with friends, when in action, tourny or league...I'm as quite as a mouse.

Jimbo
 
"Know why you missed that shot?...'Cause there's no pocket THERE!" (while pointing where the OB hit the rail):D

...and my personal favorite: "When you're at the table, nothing and nobody can keep you from performing at your peak...except yourself!"

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com
 
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I was crying for 5 minutes after this...

After my opponent for 20 a rack down here in Augusta, GA just missed position due to a bad roll, he jams the OB into the side rail and walks back to his chair before saying, "Man, I'm so un-lucky that if I were queer, I'd come down with a case of lockjaw!"
 
CocoboloCowboy said:
Quotes about the game of pool.
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It's not a matter of life and death. It's not a test of manhood. It's much more important than that.

If you must smash the balls about paying no attention to where the cue ball will stop approaching the game as if it were a sort of demolition derby, we must face the possibility that you and this game are not well suited
 
A guy said to me, "Man are you lucky."

My response to him. "Of course, I raised these balls since they were marbles."
 
I'll hit one real bad and just say "GO!" when it has no chance whatsoever. That sarcasm comes from golf. I'll yell at my ball to SIT when I come up way short on an approach, etc.
 
Before attempting a seemingly impossible shot: "I saw this in a cartoon once, I think I can do it."
 
After being sharked in the middle of break and a run: "Shut your Manpleaser so you can use those Di** Skinners to Rackem"
 
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