What is a good way for a low-level player to handle unwanted advice?

Minnesota Phat

Active member
[...]

Sometimes people love the advice, sometimes not. One thing I noticed, most women hate taking advice, while most guys are OK with it. Not sure why but there is something fundamentally different in the thought process because it's a huge and clear difference, I think women take advice as someone pointing out they are bad at a task while men take it as someone pointing out they can be better. Or maybe it's because it's a man giving advice and it's just a general negative kneejerk reaction.
[...]
I think it's a very different dynamic for women. She might be thinking you're hitting on her, or she might be thinking that you're underestimating her because she's a woman, because both of those things happen a lot. She might also have a jealous boyfriend.

Women seem to be a small minority among serious players, so maybe the scene is a bit outside most women's comfort zone to begin with, and so when they have the chutzpah to get out and play with mostly guys, their reserves of emotional patience and psychological fortitude may already be running low.

I'm sure women get more unsolicited advice than men get, and women who play a lot of pool could be drawn into uncomfortable situations under the pretense of a guy offering them pool advice.

Even if a woman thinks you're only being nice and just trying to help, which is a big "if," she has all this other mentally-draining stuff in the background that might add up to a general aversion towards guys trying to tell her how she can improve her game.

I'm getting advice-overload, so I can't imagine how sick of advice I'd be, if I were a woman.
 

Minnesota Phat

Active member
I'm one of those strangers that tries to help people out, especially if I see they are trying to get better but doing something wrong.

I have probably created a dozen new regular players and a half dozen pretty close friends just from approaching people after league or just asking people to play and helping them with their game. The way I explain it to them "you need an asshole like me to tell you what you are doing wrong to get better" LOL Most of those guys are now playing in leagues with me or in general, and purchased cues and shafts after learning how things work, so it's an overall good thing I think trying to help people. I think if I did not approach them or started up conversations they would just be casual bangers instead of getting more interested in the sport.
It's cool of you to share your knowledge to help other players improve, especially if you can do it with such a good sense of humor. :)
 

Minnesota Phat

Active member
[...] After swapping sides I proceeded to miss the shot about nine times out of ten for about fifteen minutes! Finally a guy I saw around the pool hall now and then couldn't stand any more and came over. "Let me show you how to make that ball!" He couldn't understand that I was trying to make it using a certain technique and could make it with no problem if I chose. After ten minutes or so he went away obviously thinking I was too proud to take advice!

Hu
That's a great example of getting annoying advice.

I guess that if I ever achieve Total Enlightenment, my reaction to advice will always be to say "That's brilliant!" and make a great shot, and let the advisor walk away smiling, thinking s/he's a great teacher, when in fact s/he just taught me something I already knew more about than s/he knew.

Probably not today though. Today I'll probably get annoyed and say, "Have you ever heard of asking questions?" and then s/he'll get pissed and challenge me to a duel, and I'll agree to that duel, but then won't show up, and will hide for seven months.
 

Minnesota Phat

Active member
Oh and to put a positive spin on "positive advice," one of the coolest learning moments I had was during a little tournament where my opponent said, "You know three consecutive fouls is an automatic loss, right?" and then played three consecutive lock-up safeties.

He showed me an aspect of 9-ball I didn't previously understand without offering any advice at all. And he won. Pretty smooth, man. Pretty smooth.
 

ShootingArts

Smorg is giving St Peter the 7!
Silver Member
That's a great example of getting annoying advice.

I guess that if I ever achieve Total Enlightenment, my reaction to advice will always be to say "That's brilliant!" and make a great shot, and let the advisor walk away smiling, thinking s/he's a great teacher, when in fact s/he just taught me something I already knew more about than s/he knew.

Probably not today though. Today I'll probably get annoyed and say, "Have you ever heard of asking questions?" and then s/he'll get pissed and challenge me to a duel, and I'll agree to that duel, but then won't show up, and will hide for seven months.



We can always say "oh that is nice!" while totally ignoring the advice! Some people figure it out, some never do. Or you can just say "Two Finger Tamale Joe taught me to do it this way."

If people are too persistent perhaps the old pool ball to the 'nads thing might be the ticket. I used to know two beautiful blond sisters. I often took one or both shooting pool. Men tried to move in on them pretty often with me standing right there. The old accidental ball to the nuts thing then apologizing profusely was often brought into play, particularly in bars. When I think of all the fun I had, maybe I need a jump cue!

Hu
 

Minnesota Phat

Active member
We can always say "oh that is nice!" while totally ignoring the advice! Some people figure it out, some never do. Or you can just say "Two Finger Tamale Joe taught me to do it this way."

If people are too persistent perhaps the old pool ball to the 'nads thing might be the ticket. I used to know two beautiful blond sisters. I often took one or both shooting pool. Men tried to move in on them pretty often with me standing right there. The old accidental ball to the nuts thing then apologizing profusely was often brought into play, particularly in bars. When I think of all the fun I had, maybe I need a jump cue!

Hu
LOL! Awesome on all counts.

The winner is: "Two finger Tamale Joe taught me to do it this way."

I honestly think I'm going to use that. There are so many reasons that would shut someone up. roflmao
 

straightline

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
On women, look up <bicameral mind>. Explains a lotta sht.

As far as advice, most people travel in regular circles and even if you're descended from the Gods, you can't teach the local flora to be giant redwoods. Then there will always be the contented that know and hang with pros/champs. No telling them anything they'll take to heart.
 

Minnesota Phat

Active member
On women, look up <bicameral mind>. Explains a lotta sht.

As far as advice, most people travel in regular circles and even if you're descended from the Gods, you can't teach the local flora to be giant redwoods. Then there will always be the contented that know and hang with pros/champs. No telling them anything they'll take to heart.
But isn't pool more than hitting balls on a table?

I'd honestly take one pretty pool groupie with a good heart over a thousand heartless sharks with a 700+ Fargo rating.

Pool has plenty of good players, but does it have plenty of good fans?
 

maha

from way back when
Silver Member
If you've ever owned a business you know one of the most common statements that you hear from people is, "You know what you should do"! While it usually comes from people who really don't know much of anything and their advice is often kind of dumb.

I'm inclined to listen to what people have to say cuz I never know what I'm going to hear. I had a guy tell me something one time and this was a guy living in his car, that made me almost $100,000. Another a quarter million. That one by the way came from Big Steve from NJ. It was even legal.

My wife used to get mad at me because I would talk with people who may even be somewhat bums.
if you got advice from the whale then it almost had to be illegal or he got it from someone else.
 

Minnesota Phat

Active member
Say, thanks for the advice but I am enjoying pool at my own pace. Not that I like to suck but I like to figure things out myself and ask for help when I want to.
Thanks for the advice, but I am enjoying pool at my own pace. ;P

Thank you for your comment, JB. You might find it funny that my only Made in China billiards product is a JB 3 X 6 cue case, because I heard that this JB guy was a U.S. Air Force vet who just happened to move to China. True story.
 

boogieman

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ping.
I like playing pool, but I'm not good at it, and I get so much unsolicited advice from other players that it is starting to get on my nerves. Sometimes this happens even when I'm just practicing by myself - random strangers will come up and say I should do x, y, or z.

I know they're trying to be helpful, but sometimes I just want to bang balls around, and not be in school. I'm also suffering from information-overload, which has caused my play to suffer, as I am too aware of the 17,000 things I need to work on, and second-guessing a shot makes me miss and/or foul about 90% of the time.

And that's not to mention all of the bad or useless advice.

I also notice others giving their partner advice during doubles games, which almost invariably leads to the shooter missing, and sometimes leads to arguments between teammates. I call it "unintentional sharking."

I do appreciate that people are trying to be helpful, and that's nice, and sometimes I enjoy gleaning knowledge from better players, but I could use some advice about how to politely signal that I'm not in the mood for a pool lesson.
Wear headphones, they don't even need to be playing anything. Just get some cheap gas station bluetooth ones (no cord) and use them as camouflage. Get good at pretending you don't hear people talking while you're "listening" to music.
 

garczar

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member

boogieman

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ping.
Anyway, advice given in the right way is actually a cool thing about pool, and when one of the money players who haunts my local pool halls deigns to share a nugget of billiards wisdom with me, I appreciate it a lot. It's actually kind of hard to get the best players to share advice - it's the middling ones who can be pushy and annoying about it, and it's the middling ones who tend to offer wrong or useless advice.

If it were Earl Strickland giving the advice, I'd want to hear everything he's willing to share.
We have a guy who is a middling player but is always teaching ripe beginners about diamond systems, tips of english on blocked kicks etc. He's not teaching bad advice per say, but he's teaching it to people who don't even know how to stand or stroke a cue. His advice is probably more harmful to a low level player than helpful.

IMO it would be more beneficial to teach a proper stance to a beginner than to fill their head with kicking and banking systems when they can't even pocket 3 balls in a row with BIH. A low level player who can't make 3 balls does not need the extra baggage of multiple rail diamond system kicks bouncing around in their head. They need to learn about fundamentals and easy shape with a rolling cue ball.

I was catching some fresh air outside and he tried going into that stuff with me and I shut it down pretty quickly. I told him all those systems don't mean much. You just have to see the shot to make the shot. He acted very incredulous and hasn't offered me advice since. It was pretty funny. He lost his poker face and I saw genuine disgust. He started saying the systems show you the shot... I told him yes, but you still have to see the shot and be able to adjust for every shot no matter what the baseline is. He went back inside after that. 😂
 

boogieman

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ping.
It’s particularly worth noting if they just mention one thing they suggest you need to work on rather than numerous things.
I was playing like a dog in a local tournament. I was getting frustrated and had basically went to my chair to wait for my opponent to put me out of my misery. A better player who never gives unwanted advice just came up after my turn and said, "Make sure you stay down, it looks like you're coming up a bit early."

I immediately realized he was right and I had been unknowingly jumping up on the shot. I got in stay down and relax mode and won that game and played better the rest of the tournament. I thanked him afterwards. We talked how sometimes you can be doing a bad habit and not even realizing it was going on. I was so tuned into making the ball and winning that a bad habit had sneaked in under the radar. Worrying about winning had blinded me to the obvious jumping up.
 

ShootingArts

Smorg is giving St Peter the 7!
Silver Member
We have a guy who is a middling player but is always teaching ripe beginners about diamond systems, tips of english on blocked kicks etc. He's not teaching bad advice per say, but he's teaching it to people who don't even know how to stand or stroke a cue. His advice is probably more harmful to a low level player than helpful.

IMO it would be more beneficial to teach a proper stance to a beginner than to fill their head with kicking and banking systems when they can't even pocket 3 balls in a row with BIH. A low level player who can't make 3 balls does not need the extra baggage of multiple rail diamond system kicks bouncing around in their head. They need to learn about fundamentals and easy shape with a rolling cue ball.

I was catching some fresh air outside and he tried going into that stuff with me and I shut it down pretty quickly. I told him all those systems don't mean much. You just have to see the shot to make the shot. He acted very incredulous and hasn't offered me advice since. It was pretty funny. He lost his poker face and I saw genuine disgust. He started saying the systems show you the shot... I told him yes, but you still have to see the shot and be able to adjust for every shot no matter what the baseline is. He went back inside after that. 😂



An old shortstop bought the pool hall that was my favorite place to play and tune while under the radar. After a few months of coming in six or seven days a week he started coming over to my table and showing me something once or twice a visit. I was very young and had only seen him giving advice to absolute bangers to protect his equipment so I resented the implication that I was a threat to his equipment, too late realizing he was making an exception teaching me. After that he never showed me another thing. However, he would come to the table once or twice a visit and show somebody playing with me something, often far beyond their abilities. Later that visit or soon afterwards I would try the shot when it came up in a game and look over to the counter to see Jessie looking my way and grinning.

While he would give a little information to me, he never gave anyone lessons. Pissed him off, he felt like they wanted to buy cheap what he had paid a lot of money and hours to learn. I can still hear his growl, "I'll give them all the lessons they want for ten a game!" Considering that minimum wage was a buck twenty-five and union scale under ten an hour those would have been some expensive lessons.

Hu
 

Fatboy

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
...or better yet, Jehovah's Witnesses...
I was going to post that exact same post

Except I didn’t know how to spell it and was too lazy to look it up. And who knows how many adverts I’d get after doing that search😂

That shit really works.

Imagine combining the 2 ideas lol

Multi level marketing and religion share lots of similar traits to recruit new members…….

Fatboy🙏🏼🧼
 
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