Why do I feel guilty when playing pool?

yally

yally

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Hey crew,

For about a year now I get this weird guilty feeling when playing pool. I work hard at a full time job, live with a caring and supportive girlfrend, and do my share to pay the bills.

But recently, I feel distracted whenever I am playing pool (my absolute main hobby and passion. not including the girlfriend. lol), I feel as though there is "something" I should be doing with my time. Like what? Save the world? Better mankind? Feed the poor? I don't know but it is some sort of guilt like that, that creeps up and haunts me when I take time for myself and my hobbies.

I try to be a giving and charitable person and enjoy my job working with the public. so why can't I shake this damn feeling??

I truly feel our game is an art form (the cuebuilders are our picasso's) and we are no different for an stuggling artist trying to create the perfect masterpiece. We just happen to weave a stick instead of a brush, and our canvas is the felt and the click of the balls. Our masterpiece is the perfect runout.

Any ideas how to shake this feeling and learn to enjoy the game of pool again?

Yally
 
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you can do all those things you mentioned and still play pool - here's the rub -
















you just gotta lose the girl! :)
 
to be honest it sounds like you have some other psychological/mental issue in your life, and it's coming out when you play pool. i think maybe you are feeling guilty about something else in your life. i can't really articulate in words very well the point i am trying to make, you've asked such a deep psychological question!

good luck in solving your problem!
 
yally said:
I truly feel our game is an art form (the cuebuilders are our picasso's) and we are no different for an stuggling artist trying to create the perfect masterpiece. We just happen to weave a stick instead of a brush, and our canvas is the felt and the click of the balls. Our masterpiece is the perfect runout.

Any ideas how to shake this feeling and learn to enjoy the game of pool again?

Yally
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First of all that was the best quote from someone I think ive ever read on this site. Secondly, im not sure where this feeling comes from dude. I imagine you don't either hence the post. But maybe you could cut down your time playing, or do something before you go play that makes you feel good about what you have done with your day so your not distracted when you play later on.
 
I'm the same way...

I tend to feel that if I'm not spending my time working towards bettering myself in some way that I'm wasting my time. As a result, I can't sit down and watch TV or just quietly enjoy a cup of coffee (I'd have to be reading or working on something simultaneously).

The above implies that I'm not bettering myself by playing pool. But I don't necessarily believe that I'm wasting time by working on my game. I do think that the benefits of doing so aren't as obvious as when I spend my time reading, cultivating relationships, exercising, etc.

Sounds like you have a pretty healthy concept of why you play and where your passion for the game stems from.

I bet that pool is one of the many important facets in your life that make you an interesting person. I bet you wouldn't be nearly as happy in general if you didn't experience that table-length draw or that razor thin cut for the run-out. Maybe if you focus on such things you'll get rid of that pesky guilt.

If you find the solution let me know.
 
This sounds like you've been affected by some sort of asceticism. It often is fueled by religion from what I understand.

Perhaps just come to the understanding that everyone deserves some time to regroup. There is nothing selfish about that. Being less wound up helps other aspects of your life as well. So, relaxing is NOT a bad thing!

asceticism

Etymology:
Greek askētikos, literally, laborious, from askētēs one that exercises, hermit, from askein to work, exercise
Date:
1646

1. practicing strict self-denial as a measure of personal and especially spiritual discipline
 
My .2 cents worth is that there is nothing wrong with spending time playing pool or anything else provided that you feel that you can still accomplish, do or maintain the things in your life that you deem very important. If playing pool obsessively causes you to just not go to work, or you put a game above important relationships, yea, a person may feel some guilt if they're a responsible person. But having any hobby, sport or activity that you do in moderation is not a bad thing. Here's why...

Recreation means to "re-create", it's a pause from all the stuff, junk, responsibilites, etc that responsible people have in their lives. It lets you unwind and relax, which should make you more productive and less stressed, which usually means easier to get along with.

Think of it this way....if all you ever did was work and deal with life's issues and you never spend one minute on your own well being, how long do you think you would be an effective person?

My rule of thumb is God first, my family 2nd, job 3rd and fun stuff like pool and AZBilliards time last. Life issues like paying the bills, buying groceries, etc all intermingle around the main staples of our lives.

Hope that helps you a little. And remember, the other important people in our lives need time alone to to be refreshed also. So, have fun when you do get some table time. Pool is the greatest game ever invented!
 
I think I know what you mean, yally. It seems as if our time could be used for the really important things, like saving babies from a burning building or something. But I realized that if I wasn't playing pool, I'd be sitting at home watching reruns of Jake and the Fatman.
 
Maybe there is something else

No psychologist here, but just repeating what you said:

"But recently, I feel distracted whenever I am playing pool (my absolute main hobby and passion), I feel as though there is "something" I should be doing with my time."

You made a couple finite statements that are IMO cataclysmic. Pool is your absolute main hobby and passion and there is something (else??) you should be doing with your time. The latter suggests pool is becoming a waste of time in your mind, because you look at it as a hobby or something with no true fruitful end while there is somethig else you should be doing.

A lot of people have quit playing at one time or another because of this same feeling only to pick it up again months or years later because they enjoy it as a skills challenge. Some quit because they plateau and feel they can never get better than they are when they quit. I did it for both reasons with 5-7 years in between restarts. IMO Pool is closer to golf than any challenge where confidence or internal turmoil can either make you or break you.

Your saying pool is your "main passion" places your relationship and other facets of your life somewhere in the background. If your significant other demanded you give up pool or she would leave, then you would have to make a decision of how both stack up. And, it might not even be so much as her, but as much as relationships in general vs playing the game. (competing for your attention)

If you are young, my guess is the distraction is because you probably are hearing little voices deep inside that say there "IS" more you could be doing with your life, career, family, or some other important facet, that you are not doing to get ahead in those areas. If that is the case, it isn't a crime to go on the wagon, or go on a light diet of pool and make more time for climbing a different hill. You can always come back and climb this hill again. What pool is to each and every person may be different at different times in their life. It is a release valve of sorts for me to play where nothing else interferes with my concentration but the game itself. If it fails in that aspect, I quit playing that night because I suck big time when that happens and within an hour, I know I am wasting my time an should be doing something else.

Hope you can sort things out. In my case, one look at my stroke and most people suggest I quit altogether. :D
 
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yally said:
I feel as though there is "something" I should be doing with my time. Like what? Save the world?The world is fine Better mankind?mankind should better itself Feed the poor?they should get a friggin job
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bottom line is, pool is a fun productive sport so don't sweat all that other shit, just get in the groove and run some racks


Jake ( should be a psychiatrist )
 
You're a man and men finish what they set out to do. Pool is a giant puzzle that takes a huge amount of time to figure out. Embrace it.
 
our_auctionguy said:
No psychologist here, but just repeating what you said:

"But recently, I feel distracted whenever I am playing pool (my absolute main hobby and passion), I feel as though there is "something" I should be doing with my time."

You made a couple finite statements that are IMO cataclysmic. Pool is your absolute main hobby and passion and there is something (else??) you should be doing with your time. The latter suggests pool is becoming a waste of time in your mind, because you look at it as a hobby or something with no true fruitful end while there is somethig else you should be doing.

A lot of people have quit playing at one time or another because of this same feeling only to pick it up again months or years later because they enjoy it as a skills challenge. Some quit because they plateau and feel they can never get better than they are when they quit. I did it for both reasons with 5-7 years in between restarts. IMO Pool is closer to golf than any challenge where confidence or internal turmoil can either make you or break you.

Your saying pool is your "main passion" places your relationship and other facets of your life somewhere in the background. If your significant other demanded you give up pool or she would leave, then you would have to make a decision of how both stack up. And, it might not even be so much as her, but as much as relationships in general vs playing the game. (competing for your attention)

If you are young, my guess is the distraction is because you probably are hearing little voices deep inside that say there "IS" more you could be doing with your life, career, family, or some other important facet, that you are not doing to get ahead in those areas. If that is the case, it isn't a crime to go on the wagon, or go on a light diet of pool and make more time for climbing a different hill. You can always come back and climb this hill again. What pool is to each and every person may be different at different times in their life. It is a release valve of sorts for me to play where nothing else interferes with my concentration but the game itself. If it fails in that aspect, I quit playing that night because I suck big time when that happens and within an hour, I know I am wasting my time an should be doing something else.

Hope you can sort things out. In my case, one look at my stroke and most people suggest I quit altogether. :D
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Very insightful response. I agree with the majority of your reply. The only clarification is that I feel that pool is my main passion "in terms of" hobbies (Such as I play poker also). Maybe using the word "and" minimized the importance of my relationships with my family and girlfriend.

Thanks to everyone who posted so far. Interested to see there are some other folks who are going through something similar.

It used to be so easy going through life with it being all about "me". (No different than any typical Gen X North American.). I cared deeply about the clothes I was wearing, what kind of car I was driving, and having all the new gizmos. I've challenged those beliefs and put less caring in them. I guess I am trying to fill that "consumerism" void with something.

I guess during the calm of the pool game the void comes to the front since I am not running around for work or family, and it's just me and the table.
 
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Sounds like a classic quarter/mid life crisis. If you're not satisfied with the accomplishments of the rest of your life you can't be satisfied with the time that's yours alone.

Usually in american culture this boils down to income/debt. For others though it can be romantic and for others it can be purely about station in life. i.e. I'm smarter than this job I'm working.

Get comfortable with those aspects of life and your free-time will be the best free-time you've ever had.

...been there, trying to get back.
 
yally said:
Very insightful response. I agree with the majority of your reply. The only clarification is that I feel that pool is my main passion "in terms of" hobbies (Such as I play poker also). Maybe using the word "and" minimized the importance of my relationships with my family and girlfriend.

Thanks to everyone who posted so far. Interested to see there are some other folks who are going through something similar.

It used to be so easy going through life with it being all about "me". (No different than any typical Gen X North American.). I cared deeply about the clothes I was wearing, what kind of car I was driving, and having all the new gizmos. I've challenged those beliefs and put less caring in them. I guess I am trying to fill that "consumerism" void with something.

I guess during the calm of the pool game the void comes to the front since I am not running around for work or family, and it's just me and the table.
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If you are a good player, how about trying to share some of your knowledge with some of the younger people who are interestd in learning the game. By the way, good luck finding any.
 
yally said:
Hey crew,

For about a year now I get this weird guilty feeling when playing pool. I work hard at a full time job, live with a caring and supportive girlfrend, and do my share to pay the bills.

But recently, I feel distracted whenever I am playing pool (my absolute main hobby and passion. not including the girlfriend. lol), I feel as though there is "something" I should be doing with my time. Like what? Save the world? Better mankind? Feed the poor? I don't know but it is some sort of guilt like that, that creeps up and haunts me when I take time for myself and my hobbies.

I try to be a giving and charitable person and enjoy my job working with the public. so why can't I shake this damn feeling??

I truly feel our game is an art form (the cuebuilders are our picasso's) and we are no different for an stuggling artist trying to create the perfect masterpiece. We just happen to weave a stick instead of a brush, and our canvas is the felt and the click of the balls. Our masterpiece is the perfect runout.

Any ideas how to shake this feeling and learn to enjoy the game of pool again?

Yally
Click to expand...

My two cents as a woman... I am guessing that your girl friend does not play pool. Regardless, she is with you for who you are. Are you feeling guilty that you could be spending more time with her while you're playing pool? You shouldn't. You are who you were when she met you and apparently she fell in love with who you the way you were. Maybe, you could balance it out a little but not stop or give up.

It is in everyone's nature to better their lives, but it can't be done without some escape from the reality by endulging on some self gratification...

Good Luck.

S.
 
your not taking your time at the table serious enough, Who cares what those people over there think, this is your time, for you, make the most of it.


SPINDOKTOR
 
You have had and will get more "balancing" advice...i.e. do some good deed in equal proportion to your pool playing.

I have two suggestions for you.

1. Donate the same amount of money you spend on pool...all in, including time and pool-related products, to the Make-a-Wish Foundation that funds the fulfillment of wishes for desperately ill children.

2. Do what I have done for many years. Instead of sending Christmas cards, we go to the post office and get 100 Letters to Santa. Quite a few of them are selfish or con jobs some many are totally genuine and will break your heart!

Then we either buy what the child asks for and send it "From Santa" or send a gift card for a store where it can be purchased. We prefer to send actual gifts because too often the gift cards will be converted to cash to buy crack!!!

Then we send the actual letters to people we would otherwise send Christmas cards to and tell them that the wish was fulfilled in whole or in part in their honor.


We don't create the fund by matching pool expenditures but you could.

Regards,
Jim
 
While playing pool, and when that sense of discomfort comes, give thanks for the time and activity that gives you the inner peace and strength you need if you are to go out and do good work for others.

Being there for others takes psychological and physical energy. You need to somehow refuel and pool is your way of clearing your mind so that other works, dedicated to others, can enter your consciousness. Be at peace while refueling.
 
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