Your Most Embarrassing Poolroom Experience?

sunnyone

sunnyone

cum grano salis
Silver Member
Dear Gentle Readers,

This is an invitation to bare -- well, if not your soul -- at least your embarrassment! Bare your embarrassment, hey, I kind of like that!

Okay, I’ll kick things off!

Back when I had a pretty acceptable boyfriend, back when I was pretty much full of myself, I contracted with a pool instructor to try to learn some of the basics. (Such as how to draw the cue ball. Hey, not everyone is born with insider info!)

He fired me.

During my first lesson.

My felony? Yapping away with my girlfriends; not paying much attention to the professional I was paying to tutor me.

He was right, I was wrong. My fault.

(Was this the lowest-of-low points in my life?

(Ho! Hardly.

(One minor example? In middle school Muffy and I were both ‘deeply, profoundly in love’ with the same, quite sophisticated older man … he was probably around 14. We let him talk us into making out with each other. My mom, calm as customary, suggested we agree to continue visually pleasing him just as soon as he started snuggling up with his own best friend.

(End of that stroll down that particular lane.)

Point?

Most of us can avert our memory-eyes -- okay, sometimes with some considerable relief! -- from past missteps.

But somehow an incident -- even my own demeaning billiards tutorial encounter -- seems easier to fade if it occurs inside a poolroom. At least it appears to be that way for me.

Not sure why.

Maybe it’s that ongoing, almost subliminal, thrum ... that sense of a competitive, and creative, undercurrent that permeates some rooms.

Maybe it’s that vague, ambient awareness that almost every ignominious episode that could have happened has, in fact, already happened. Sometime. In some pool hall, somewhere. To someone.

Or ... maybe I’m smoking dope!

So … give it up ... your own pool emporia humiliations … fess up, boys … don’t be shy!

Endorsing self-mortification is my life,

Sunny




Sent from my iPhone6 (Beta).
 
Slamming a cueball after I had fouled into the pocket as hard as I could and it bouncing back to my face. Made a cut on my eyebrow, lots of blood. I deserved it :p
 
sunnyone said:
In middle school Muffy and I were both ‘deeply, profoundly in love’ with the same, quite sophisticated older man … he was probably around 14. We let him talk us into making out with each other. My mom, calm as customary, suggested we agree to continue visually pleasing him just as soon as he started snuggling up with his own best friend.
Click to expand...

How odd. I remember two young girls doing that in front of me around that age... hmm. Maybe I do know you from somewhere. :groucho:

Oh, iPhone6 eh? What new Hell have you planned for us IT guys now...
 
For me it would be the time I was coaching a young lady who was determined to learn the game of Nine Ball.
At this particular session she asked how far a player could safely reach for a shot before having to use a bridge. I told her it depended on the individual and proceeded to set up the nine and the cue ball to demonstrate.
As I leaned over the head rail and stretched for the shot...I farted.
Now, this was not one of those ordinary kind of farts, mind you, but one of those farts heard round the world kind of farts. This was one of those I went to Taco Bell at noon and had three bean burritos, and one chicken taco, and now I've just shit my pants kind of fart.
And, did it stink. I'm telling you the stench from this fart could have puked a dog off a gut wagon. Did you ever play tent with your significant other, Sunny? You know, when your laying in bed and you pull the covers up over your heads and fart real big. Well, it was way worse than that.
The last I heard from the girl was in a postcard from Waterloo, Iowa, addressed to Tramp Stinker, saying glad you're not here. :smile:
 
When I was 16 I lived on my own in the Helena Hotel on the Long Beach, NY Boardwalk. Next to my hotel was another hotel that had a pool that I had use of. Next to this hotel was an open-air bar with pool tables. I had just got out of the pool and playing at the bar in boxer trunks and flip-flops when I stepped on one flip-flop and tripped, catching my bathing trunks on the corner of the pool table. I hit the floor with my trunks down around my knees. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t just got out of the cold pool. Johnnyt
 
That's an easy one for me. Team league play and I haven't shot yet. On the other side where the opposing team sits. One of their players falls face first into their table. So drunk they had to pick him up and hold him up. Of course what do I say "hope I get to play him". LOL. HE KICKED MY BUTT. Think I have actually heard him say "I have never played this game sober".
 
One of my teammates was so flustered in a finals
match of a tournament, they picked up the cue
ball when they meant to pick up chalk. The foul
cost us the match and still to this day I have
no idea how a mistake like that is even possible.
Needless to say, the person who did this was
extremely embarrassed, and has not played any
competitive pool since.
 
when i was 18 and starting to play pool and gamble; well i wasn't too good at gambling or playing pool, and i lost a match and i owed the guy. no problem, the winner said, "meet me next friday and we will settle up."

next friday came and went and maybe a month or two later he walks in on me watching a one pocket game. he could have made a scene but he didn't. we talked in hushed tones and a minute later we were in his truck. i bared my soul and told him he could kick my ass and he would be right. evidently he knew more about my situation, and he just told me not to run or hide from my debts no matter what. i would like to say that moment was rock bottom but it wasn't. it took me at least 2 yrs to get right with the world but it all turned on that piece of advice; without any violence.

people talk about paying it forward, well when the roles were reversed during the 30 yrs since that "lesson" i have always tried to consider the debtor and not the debt. sometimes people took advantage of my benevolence, but because how i had acted in my youth and another man's understanding of the ways of a stupid kid my actions were definitely influence by my worst pool hall moment.

i'm pretty sure no one new the ins and outs of my situation in the pool room that day, but it was one of those moments where the inward shame was unbearable.
 
Too easy

Maybe no "death bed memory" gaffs but how many times have you...

Gone for that table length draw shot that gets all the ooohhhs and aaahhhs only to miscue and launch the cue ball off the table

Lined up on the duck and miscued

Or even worse,

Execute astounding cue ball control, shot making and multi rail position shots

Drag perfect shape off of a nifty two rail bank shot


.... And then butcher the two foot shot on the money ball


It is a humbling game full of brain farts and other mishaps
 
Hardtimes Bellflower, Ca-1st time there...

didn't go well.

1st Sunday 9ball tournament. I was just getting back into pool after 30 year or so layoff. I had watched part of the last month's tournament, and decided to give it a try the next month.

I was pretty nervous...I see and recognize Parica, Santos, Max Eberle and other local shortstops...an intimidating field.

They call my match, we flip, I win the toss. (the good news...I'm playing someone I don't know or know of)





I break hard.....rather, I tried to break hard. Instead, I missed the cb with the tip, and ended up 'pinning'(no offense CJ Wiley) the cb to the table with the shaft, about 12 inches from the tip. TWICE.

I quietly, broke down my cue and left. I was too embarrassed to stay.

That is not the only time that I've embarrassed myself while playing...but it's a start. If it's stupid, and possible....I might have done it.
 
I once pocketed the 8-ball when I still had two balls on the table -- tunnel vision.

I've only played for two years so I haven't had a lot of chances yet. Stay tuned.
 
Johnnyt said:
When I was 16 I lived on my own in the Helena Hotel on the Long Beach, NY Boardwalk. Next to my hotel was another hotel that had a pool that I had use of. Next to this hotel was an open-air bar with pool tables. I had just got out of the pool and playing at the bar in boxer trunks and flip-flops when I stepped on one flip-flop and tripped, catching my bathing trunks on the corner of the pool table. I hit the floor with my trunks down around my knees. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t just got out of the cold pool. Johnnyt
Click to expand...

Sienfeld fans will know this one when Elaine says, "You mean it shrinks? I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
 
I was Back home for the first time in ten years. Took my grandfather out to hit a few ball. I wanted to impress him with how well I play. I rack the balls he breaks makes a few misses I run out. He racks and I put my cue right through the glass shades of the light over the table. Glass everywhere... Thankfully he didn't have a heart attack. Just an idiot for a grandson.

Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk now Free
 
On a break shot my thumb caught my pocket and ripped the front of my slacks off. Almost broke my thumb. $1.00 an hour for time. $18.00 for the slacks(back in the 60's). That was an expensive break shot. People around me could not stop laughing.
 
Johnnyt said:
When I was 16 I lived on my own in the Helena Hotel on the Long Beach, NY Boardwalk. Next to my hotel was another hotel that had a pool that I had use of. Next to this hotel was an open-air bar with pool tables. I had just got out of the pool and playing at the bar in boxer trunks and flip-flops when I stepped on one flip-flop and tripped, catching my bathing trunks on the corner of the pool table. I hit the floor with my trunks down around my knees. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t just got out of the cold pool. Johnnyt
Click to expand...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEnKLhi83J8
 
about six years ago I got my first set of false teeth a short time later a friend and I were playing 9 ball for beers and I had to make a long cut shot on the nine for the win made the shot and let out a deep breath and my top plate poped out and hit the table and stop the cue ball my friend called a foul we disagreed had a big laugh got different opinions called it a draw had a couple more beers
 
Lol

I hadn't done laundry, and the only underwear were some jockey briefs with a stretched out waistband. I got a safety pin, and took them up, and fastened it. I was down playing in the weekend tournaments at Stix, had to go pee, and when I came back, the safety pin had come undone, and fell out, and my underwear had slipped down over my butt, and was resting on the inseam that seperates the legs. This was somewhat distressing to say the least, and I couldn't concentrate on Pool the rest of the night!
 
A few incidents come to mind.

1. Playing straight pool at the old Corner Billiards, I ran the rack and left a perfect break shot. I then returned to the chair and waited for my opponent to get up and rack the balls. Something seemed suspicious when my opponent remained in his chair. Eventually, I noticed that the six ball was frozen to the top rail and that I hadn't run out at all. Ouch!

2. Playing in a nine ball tournament at the old Amsterdam Billiard Club East, I drew a great guy and fine player named Jeff Tischler. It was one of those "what else can go wrong?" matches where Jeff, who played well, led 5-0 in the race to seven. We were on the table nearest the ping pong tables. As I lined up a shot, I felt something hard hit me right in the head, and I couldn't figure out what had happened. No, Jeff didn't punch me! What had happened was that a ping pong player had accidentally thrown their paddle and it hit me right in the head. Go figure.

3. In a nine ball tournament, my match was called and I reported to my table but my opponent was nowhere to be found. Some ten minutes later, the tournament director told me I was on the clock and was five minutes from having to forfeit. Perplexed, I asked why. Turned out I had reported to the wrong table and that my opponent was waiting for me at the right one.
 
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Funny

Some of thes posts had me literally laughing out loud. Great stuff, and everyone lived to play another day.

Without question, I had 2 bad incidents myself.
1). I was playing straight pool at Chelsea Billiards with a steady partner. I was melting down before my very eyes. Before I knew it, I brought my cue overhead and wielded it like a sledge hammer, into the ground. It was a mid 80's Meucci that I turned into toothpicks. I walked away from the game for over a year after that incident.

2) when I finally came back, I swore I would never repeat that type of incident again. And I meant it. And I kept my word. For many years. Until I didn't. I was playing at Amsterdam West. Joel Shapiro was torturing me with his slow play. Before I realized it, I was embroiled in the NyQuil Cup. When I say slow, he makes Charlie Williams and J Archer look like Butera and Drago. Finally I snapped. Ha, no I didn't. That was my Gina Cue. Yep. Over the knee. God, it makes me sick, still, when I think about it. The whole room got quiet. I'll never forget it.

There is a silver lining. Not long after that I got my New Gina, which I play with everyday. It's become a part of me. I'll have her forever. I just steer clear of Joel on the table.
 
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