strange opinion plus question

so im 40, ive been out of pool for almost a decade, and even when i was in it, i was in it periodically, i had talent but the pool players i knew were broke losers so i was always in the employed section of the pool world. if i stayed with it, i could have been good good. my pot making ability was natural, and my stroke can make the cue ball dance like a stripper who just found out shes pregnant. but i never really stayed in it for consecutive years where you really learn the game. anyway, what i did see while i was paying attention was, the best players i ever seen can run racks with a house cue. i learned on a lucasi and stepped forward from there. i wanna get back in the game. i still own about 5k worth of cues, do i pick it back up on a bar cue or do i go back to the LD shit that ruined my game in the first place and stick with it?
This reads like a monologue from the start of a bad movie lol Is it normal for people to talk about themselves in this way?

If you have a cue already, use it. Try other peoples. If you like them, buy one of your own :)

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