Another funny story about Jack Hynes is:
Mid eighties: After living in different parts of the country, Jack comes back to Toledo to get a REAL job because he is tired of the "road life", the hustlin', the drugs, the cons, and people chasing him for the "dumps" he perpetrated.
His "REAL" job he found was as a pizza driver for Marco's Pizza, a local company here in Toledo. He had the red Marco's t-shirt, the red Marco's hat, and the red Marco's red apron with the two pockets to keep the cash in, and a cute company owned red Ford Pinto painted red with a flashing Marco's sign on the roof.
His first night on the job had Jack delivering his first two pizzas to a college dorm with the pies costing the college kids $19.85. When they answered the door, they handed Jack a $20 and told him to keep the change.
The second pizza run of the night had Jack delivering an extra large pizza loaded with everything costing $17 to a couple of teenagers. There were no lights on in the house but when Jack knocked on the door anyway, the kid that answered took the pizza and said he'd be right back with the money. The kid went out the back door of the abandoned house and scooted with the pizza. Jack had to pay back the $17 to Marco's for the stolen Pizza.
Jack's third and final run delivering pizzas had Jack delivering five pies to a poker game ten blocks from the pizza joint. Jack climbed up on the porch and rang the doorbell. When the door opened, the guy looked at Jack and did a double-take, Jack looked at the guy and did a double-take, and Jack looked at two of the guys sitting at the poker table, the two guys at the table looked at Jack, and they all realized at the same time where they knew each other from. These were three of the five guys Jack convinced to put up $1,000 each at the Glass City Open (see one of my posts in this thread) and then never showed up to play his matches and was forfeited out of it making each of these guys a $1,000 loser. They were looking at Jack with murder, and glee, in their eyes!
Jack threw the pies at the poker table and ran out the door, jumped off the porch with the three guys in hot pursuit. Jack was pretty skinny back then and was pretty fleet of foot. These overweight, pizza eating, poker players had no chance of catching Jack. Jack zoomed right past the red Marco's pizza car in the driveway with the pizza roof light burning brightly and ran a 1/2 mile to the bar where I was at. He looked like s**t, his shoes and pant legs were caked with mud, and his red shirt and apron were in tatters from running through a swamp eluding his pissed off pursuers. After telling us the story, I asked Jack if he learned a lesson here. He said, "You bet! I'll never deliver f***ing pizzas again! Something about hot pizzas makes people cheap, makes them into thieves, and makes people who eat pizzas while playing poker into raving lunatics!"
To the best of my knowledge, he not only never delivered pizzas again, he never ate another one, either!
This post is a classic!
What a great thread. I don't know how I missed it before.
Chris