Very true!
Best pool-related quotes/one-liners
- Thread starter Roy Steffensen
- Start date
Very true!
Around here, when that happens the railbirds will either say "hit the ball, Alice" - "you dropped your purse". lol
If someone scratches more than twice, they'll be asked if they've got a rash... or fleas.
APA players know this one...Any Pocket Asshole
Huh?? Is this even pool-related?
I've used this one before: "Tuck in your skirt and you'll make that next time."
A buddy of mine who likes to get a little mouthy when he drinks was trying to get this guy to play me for money in just a regular bar (not a pool hall). Repeatedly the guys is telling him no as he just wanted to shoot with his buddy for fun... but my buddy is persistant of course since he had been drinking for a few hours. Finally after this went on for about 5 minutes the guy stops shooting and looks at my buddy and says "If I give you a dollar will you stop talking to me?" I busted out laughing and my buddy was speechless and just walked away.
Heres a few
He plays so bad he couldn't play a radio. (or a drum)
This guy ain't safe under the table. Referring to someone who always finds a way to pocket a ball.
He wouldn't bet waters wet. Referring to a nit.
Spin the ball -sleep in the park. Meaning if you use too much english you will go broke and have to sleep in the park.
He plays so bad he couldn't play a radio. (or a drum)
This guy ain't safe under the table. Referring to someone who always finds a way to pocket a ball.
He wouldn't bet waters wet. Referring to a nit.
Spin the ball -sleep in the park. Meaning if you use too much english you will go broke and have to sleep in the park.
I saw Efren at the DCC playing a guy for (I think) a hundred a game in one-pocket.
I watched for a while, and never saw the other guy winning, so I asked Efren. "What's the handicap?". Efren turned around to me and smiled his big smile and said "The handicap is great".
It made me laugh
One of my favourite lines when playing someone who tells me I'm lucky after I slop a ball in, is to simply respond with, "Yeah, I know I'm lucky. Lucky to play to you"
I watched for a while, and never saw the other guy winning, so I asked Efren. "What's the handicap?". Efren turned around to me and smiled his big smile and said "The handicap is great".
It made me laugh
One of my favourite lines when playing someone who tells me I'm lucky after I slop a ball in, is to simply respond with, "Yeah, I know I'm lucky. Lucky to play to you"
No Woman, No Cry; No Pool, You Must DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This rack is just like a ex-girlfriend - It has issues..
The guy you're shooting cuts a ball to the corner and easily misses it by a diamond, you can say "Yeah, these pockets are tight" or "If there was a pocket there that would have been a great shot".
Some of the best one liners I've ever read really weren't pool related but they were said in a pool room. I read them in that book "Playing Off the Rail". If I remember correctly they were attributed to Fats. One, a woman with very large breasts walks into the pool room and he says "If she got a chest cold it would be worse than a giraffe with a sore throat." Another one was there was a bald guy in the room and Fats says "Is that your head? I thought your neck was trying to blow a bubble." And the last one, pool related, was a few guys gambling on a table. Fats walks in and one of the guys says "Fats, we can't bet on this table, the pockets are too big" and Fats replies "Bet a little higher, they'll tighten up."
Now, those first 2 may not have been Fats. It's been at least 10 years since I read that book.
MULLY
Some of the best one liners I've ever read really weren't pool related but they were said in a pool room. I read them in that book "Playing Off the Rail". If I remember correctly they were attributed to Fats. One, a woman with very large breasts walks into the pool room and he says "If she got a chest cold it would be worse than a giraffe with a sore throat." Another one was there was a bald guy in the room and Fats says "Is that your head? I thought your neck was trying to blow a bubble." And the last one, pool related, was a few guys gambling on a table. Fats walks in and one of the guys says "Fats, we can't bet on this table, the pockets are too big" and Fats replies "Bet a little higher, they'll tighten up."
Now, those first 2 may not have been Fats. It's been at least 10 years since I read that book.
MULLY
“That guy can draw with a cue ball better than you can with a pencil.”
“He’s making diamonds,” (tough layout and the guy’s ass is puckered so tight he is making diamonds.)
Pool player in a league match for the first time learns that the whole team comes out to check the layout before coaching. His team mate calls a time out, five guys get up, the player (who shoots A speed or so) stands back about five feet and starts sucking his thumb like a little kid – the whole place broke out laughing. No words, but it was one of the funniest things I have seen.
One more, "that guy is luckier than a two pecker billy goat."
“He’s making diamonds,” (tough layout and the guy’s ass is puckered so tight he is making diamonds.)
Pool player in a league match for the first time learns that the whole team comes out to check the layout before coaching. His team mate calls a time out, five guys get up, the player (who shoots A speed or so) stands back about five feet and starts sucking his thumb like a little kid – the whole place broke out laughing. No words, but it was one of the funniest things I have seen.
One more, "that guy is luckier than a two pecker billy goat."
From an unknown comedian ...
"I only like two things, pool and sex. I like sex better because you don't have to keep one foot on the floor".
"I only like two things, pool and sex. I like sex better because you don't have to keep one foot on the floor".