I remember the "computer-sniping suckerpunching monkeys," as I called them at the time. OMG! :rotflmao: I think the Monkey Wars started from a quote from an RSB-er named "Hamster" about monkeys slinging things at each other in a pit. I can't remember Hamster's full name. Was it David?
My favorite post on RSB was from Smorgie. I was the token "noob," as he called it, of the group. I soon learned the ropes after a few verbal swipes from veteran posters, so I started swinging back.
I made the typical newbie faux pas by correcting someone's spelling in a thread, and Smorgie replied:
JAM astounded me with:
"And I've probably typed more typos in my lifetime than all of the
posters in this chatroom combined. At 150-plus words per minute, I thank the good Lord for spell-check."
(*<~ 150 WORDS PER MINUTE?
Yipes! Not only am I unable to 'read' 150 words per minute, I can't even 'think' that fast.
btw newbie, this is NOT a chat room.
IT IS A NEWSGROUP !
NEXT, Doug
~>*(((>< Big fish eat Little fish ><)))*<~
To which I replied:
I'm sorry about that. Let me find my way back through this crowd of chattering monkeys here and get back to my designated Newbie corner.
JAM (Monkey see, monkey do?)
And then Smorgie hit me with this:
(*<~ Nope ! Monkey see, monkey do-do.....imo
NEXT, Doug ~>*(((>< Big fish eat Little fish ><)))*<~
I'm not sure why, but that really tickled my funny bone. Smorgie and I became online friends right from there. We developed an Internet friendship exchanging messages back and forth, public and private.
This may have been the story you were alluding to:
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This was the post...
Let me try to explain what happens when someone new joins a newsgroup
like RSB and gets attacked.
Social Scientists put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the
room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on
the ceiling.Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the
monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon
enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the
other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him
up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the
ladder.
One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put
in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of
the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he
immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall
upon him and beat him silly.
He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the
ladder. A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer
again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer
the crap out of him.This includes the previous new monkey, who,
grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in
the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he
has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.
One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys
are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water.
None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will
enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any
idea why.
Unfortunately you are this week's new monkey...
David "The Hamster" Malone
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There was also this gem:
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They say this is an actual true story. * *Happened in Wildwood, N.J., in
1959.
==============================================
Guy goes into the bar with his pet monkey. *The Guy quietly sips his drink
but the monkey jumps around all over the place; grabs an olive and eats it,
grabs grabs a cherry and eats it, grabs an pearl-onion and eats it. *Then
the monkey jumps over on the pool table grabs the cue ball and SWALLOWS IT
WHOLE !
The Bartender screams; "Hey, fella', your monkey just ate our cue ball !!"
Guy; "Oh? *Well, he does tend to eat anything and everything. *I'm so sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and the other things; no problem. *I'm so sorry."
He pays the Bartender and walks out...
One week later the same Guy walks into the bar with the same monkey. * Guy
sips his drink and, again, the monkey REALLY goes crazy. * He grabs a
peanut, jams it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it! * He grabs an olive,
jams it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it! *Grabs a peanut, jams it up
his butt, pulls it out, and eats it !
Now, the Bartender is really enraged ! * *"Hey You!, your godamned, stupid,
MONKEY is up to his old tricks again and this time he is offending
our customers by his depraved and obscene activities! * What you gonna' DO
about it ??? !!!!"
Guy; "Well yes, he's been doing that for several days. *Since eating that
cue ball last week, he insists on measuring EVERYTHING."
==============================================
McD.DaddyDave * in McMaryland
--
/s/ David E. Nixon *in Maryland "A Faire Lande of Pleasant Living”
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Lou Figueroa