Funny pic/gif thread...

aa.jpg
 
Geeze, some experts that don't know diddly! I never said I was cutting to that, I said I used those numbers to do the math. As for mattering one of my last projects in the sheet metal shop, I cut material for a storage tank 3000' around and the pipes going around the outside of it. For the math geeks, how high will a pipe be in the air if it goes around the world at the equator and you add one extra twenty feet long joint of pipe? Surely an extra twenty feet at the equator wouldn't matter much would it?

Since there is talk of tolerances, that is one of the first things I straightened out when I was hired at the local nuke to check all drawings from the drafting department except my own. One of the first drawings I saw was a bracket for a pipe hanger, dimensioned to four decimal places! It is debatable what tolerances are when none are listed and a friend was an expert witness in a case arguing just that. However, rule of thumb is one of the last digit so somebody could have somewhat reasonably cut those brackets to one/ten-thousandth of an inch and charged a ton for them at cost plus! A half inch tolerance was plenty tight for those brackets.

Working for the R&D company on the project before going to the nuke we built several versions of a roughly one cubic inch freon compressor. There dimensions were to a tenth as we commonly called ten-thousandths and the tolerances were one fourth that! Fun times but when I spent some time cutting in the neighboring short run production machine shop there were no tolerances on the drawings. Without thinking I asked him if a few tenths were good. He said that would be a bit sloppy and I realized my error. A few thousandths, even a hundredth was OK. Tenths of an inch would be getting sloppy. It was kinda fun hacking out parts after having to reject components because somebody polished one or made an extra spring pass.

To give some idea how tough it is dealing to tenths, I sent a request for bids to forty machine shops. Only two said they could do the job when I just told them verbally that components outside tolerances would be rejected. When I sent them drawings with the same statement on them the last two quickly rejected my request. I was in Louisiana and ended up doing business with a shop on the east coast and one on the west coast.

In my many positions over the years I have ran sheet metal fab shops, metal fab shops, and machine shops. As already obvious, I have been the liaison with and over machine and specialty shops. I have also cut to dimensions that couldn't be measured, they had to be gaged at a certain temperature. Micro-machining before NC was fun but it was a good way to get gray hair or bald in a hurry!

Design work in general was a blast. I got paid for staring out the window. Four days a week nobody could tell if I was working my ass off or thinking about the fishing trip that weekend. Friday after lunch there was no doubt. If there wasn't an emergency to deal with I was planning the stops on my weekend fishing trips. I got my bosses so well trained they would apologize if they brought me something to deal with on a Friday afternoon!

Hu
No math, just a guess. A little over 3 feet. How close am I?
 
No math, just a guess. A little over 3 feet. How close am I?

How close? Pretty damn! I'd call that an educated guess. Most folks guess a lot less than an inch. There isn't nearly the margin for error that some people think exists.



Lol, I remember some lady coming in and getting $1 at the full service pump. Gas was around $1 then and she drove a big Buick. Maybe she got home, maybe she didn’t.

We kept up with the biggest sale ever in a car at a Mobil station. A big Pontiac ran out of gas as it turned in the station. Filled it up then jumped up and down on the bumper to pack more in! The owner finally had enough and made us quit. A new record, 26.9 gallons of premium, came to $9.35!

I used to brag about my Suburban. I got over six hundred miles to the tankful. Mine was a two wheel drive with a 350 engine. Some came equipped with four wheel drive and a 454. You could watch the gas gage falling as you drove. Before the gubment regulated the size of gas tanks mine had a 49 gallon tank from the factory. I didn't always mention that little detail when bragging about how far I went on a tank of gas. It really was very nice traveling.

Hu
 
How close? Pretty damn! I'd call that an educated guess. Most folks guess a lot less than an inch. There isn't nearly the margin for error that some people think exists.





We kept up with the biggest sale ever in a car at a Mobil station. A big Pontiac ran out of gas as it turned in the station. Filled it up then jumped up and down on the bumper to pack more in! The owner finally had enough and made us quit. A new record, 26.9 gallons of premium, came to $9.35!

I used to brag about my Suburban. I got over six hundred miles to the tankful. Mine was a two wheel drive with a 350 engine. Some came equipped with four wheel drive and a 454. You could watch the gas gage falling as you drove. Before the gubment regulated the size of gas tanks mine had a 49 gallon tank from the factory. I didn't always mention that little detail when bragging about how far I went on a tank of gas. It really was very nice traveling.

Hu

I don't remember the largest fill-up, I do remember filling up a large car once, I can't remember the make but the filler was in the back of the car (behind the plate) and when I was done I tried leaning over and reading the pump and I apparently misread it and missed the 2 in the front. I think I charged them 9 something when it was actually 29 something! Whoops.. the boss wasn't happy..

LOL, the guy who got me into pool has been driving a 'burb for most of his life. His dad always had one, his brother has them, and my friend has had a few.
 
How close? Pretty damn! I'd call that an educated guess. Most folks guess a lot less than an inch. There isn't nearly the margin for error that some people think exists.





We kept up with the biggest sale ever in a car at a Mobil station. A big Pontiac ran out of gas as it turned in the station. Filled it up then jumped up and down on the bumper to pack more in! The owner finally had enough and made us quit. A new record, 26.9 gallons of premium, came to $9.35!

I used to brag about my Suburban. I got over six hundred miles to the tankful. Mine was a two wheel drive with a 350 engine. Some came equipped with four wheel drive and a 454. You could watch the gas gage falling as you drove. Before the gubment regulated the size of gas tanks mine had a 49 gallon tank from the factory. I didn't always mention that little detail when bragging about how far I went on a tank of gas. It really was very nice traveling.

Hu
I had a couple of those Suburbans with 454 gas engines in the 90's. 3/4 ton chasis, 4WD, really good on the highway and turns, stiff suspension. No idea what my gas mileage was, so obviously it was not a concern. Just ordered a GMC 2500 HD 4WD with 6.6L gasoline. Dealer offered to 'let me off the hook' and keep it on the lot when it gets here. No way.
 
I had a couple of those Suburbans with 454 gas engines in the 90's. 3/4 ton chasis, 4WD, really good on the highway and turns, stiff suspension. No idea what my gas mileage was, so obviously it was not a concern. Just ordered a GMC 2500 HD 4WD with 6.6L gasoline. Dealer offered to 'let me off the hook' and keep it on the lot when it gets here. No way.


this is even worse than the political talk
please stop
 
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which, of course, is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.


Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
 
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which, of course, is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.


Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
hell is what this thread is turning into
 
LONG STORY, BUT DEFINITELY WORTH READING!

ROPING A DEER

Author unknown - probably for good reason. Actual letter from someone who farms, writes well and apparently tried
this:

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes
come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope ... and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison... I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer at that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the
gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the
deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in.

I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but
it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day....Deer will strike at you with their front feet.

They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise an make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

All these events are true so help me God... An Educated Rancher
 
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