An 8 ball APA league player's dilemma - with a poll!!!

[GoTulane]

So I have got a dilemma on my APA pool team. I think I know the answer, but what the HELL, why not leave it up to a bunch of people online that might have an open mind when it comes to my situation.
Please answer my poll truthfully, since I am gonna do what the majority of people think by the end of the weekend.
I have a brain, and can think on my own, but thought - WHY NOT!!!

So here it goes:

I have played on a team for 2 sessions since being back in NOLA - I am a 6 and it is my ONLY night out from my 4 year old son. My wife works nights(and stays with our son during the day - which is WORK), and I work days. My wife plays pool on Tuesday nights, and I play on Wednesday nights. The team I joined has this handicap makeup (4,4,4,5,6,6), with me on it. We had a 2 last session, but she has been unable to play anymore. In order to help with handicaps, my wife joined to help out, since one of the 4's cannot make it every week. She did not want to play a lot - only for emergencies, and I stressed that the first night. But she has been "forced" to play almost every night. And they found nobody to add to the team.

Here is our schedule when she is needed to play on a Wednesday night:

1. I get home from work at 6PM

2. We eat dinner together and clean-up by 7PM

3. My wife dresses and leaves to get to league for 7:30PM

4. I get my son in the bath, and dressed for Bed, and he is in bed at 8:15PM.

5. My wife plays her pool match and then comes home to tag me to go to the league match - usually by 9PM.

6. I go out to league and HOPEFULLY play!!

7. Either way, I am usually home by Midnight - 1AM, go to sleep, and back to work by 6AM.

So that is our schedule, and that is not the issue.

The issue - I am a relatively good player, but since I do not get as much practice time, I am not at 100% my game, but I do not have a losing record. I am not part of the "team" truly, since the rest of the team are friends away from POOL NIGHT, but my wife and myself are not. And therefore, I feel I get sat a lot, over the skill 5 or the other skill 6 -- who are not MASTER players - In my prime I can easily compete, if not right now. But when it came to league playoffs, I sat the entire 3 matches. Never to shoot once, even though they needed my wife twice to play???
We won the division, but it hit a sour note with me, since I am not even playing. I believe I helped to get them there, but I sat once again when it COUNTED!!!
The finals had my name crossed out before my wife shot, even though we were up 1 to zero, and I had played the same team 3 weeks before and beat their 6. I believe it isn't for match-ups that I am being sat, it is because they do not respect my game - or do not really care!! This is their first time winning the division, and I have already been to Vegas on a previous team, so that is nothing new to me - but I hate being USED!!!

BUT HERE IS THE KICKER---

I had already decided to find another team, and have 3 teams welcoming me with open arms, in the same division, so that is not the problem. But I was upset after the Finals Match, and pissed that they used me and my wife to help them out, and then didn't even respect me enough to play me. BTW - my wife only played because she was a body and low handicap(3) - and she won the rubber match to put us into the second round - with me sitting that first night of playoffs.

So I have written them off, but I haven't said anything to them yet. But I got a call from the team captain, and city cup is this Friday & Saturday, and they need my wife AND ME, since the 5 is out of town, and a 4 can't make it. THEY NEED US NOW!!!!
But my wife would need to take off work, and we would have to get a babysitter for my son during these 2 days. So I spend money, and lose money, to play for a team that S**T on me. My family would need to rearrange their schedule just to please a team to help them make the numbers - otherwise they play with 3 people. HMMMMMMM.......

So what do I do?? What would YOU do?

Post a reply and vote for the best choice.

The winning choice will make my decision for me!!!!

So vote once, and vote wisely.

Winning choice will be set by Sunday Night 10 PM - 5-11-08

Thanks,

MAW

 

[Dawgie]

Way WAY too much info. Just go and enjoy.

 

[Da Poet]

League is about having fun. If you think you'll have more fun playing on another team, however you define it, then do it. It's not a career.

Good luck!


(Edit - I have no idea how that exclamation thing popped up there, or how to get rid of it, sorry.)

 

[Milo]

There is no "I" in team

Well, I will give you my honest opinion. Take the high road and do the right thing. You both agreed to be on the team. If they dont play you as much, then dont play next session. I guarantee, you will feel bad about it if you dont support your team when they need you. What you are thinking about doing is just lowering yourself to there level. Be the bigger person.

 

[RRfireblade]

Alright well . . .

They used you , ok , your part of the team and they used "the team" to thier benefit which worked cause you'all won the Div. Sucks I know but it goes that way sometimes.

Regardless , you don't seem to like them anymore then they like you so . . . if it's a big inconvenience for you to play cup for a team you don't care anything about then I wouldn't bother nor would I sweat it.

If you 'want' to play because you would get something out of it , and that something outweighs the inconvenience of doing so then I would say play. Play for yourself cause you want to and have fun doing so.




Lastly , don't make such a big deal out of either way. It not going to change your life so don't let it.

 

[Bamacues]

Play out the session and the find a new team for you and your wife that you will enjoy playing on. Only way you would HAVE to stay with the same team would be if they won and advanced, right? If that happened, stay with them for the money and the ride to Vegas, otherwise, find some folks that you enjoy hanging out with and get on their team. I will tell you that mospeople in our league feel that a SL-6 is probably the worst SL to be. You are often matched up against SL 7s that could spot you much more than 1 game and still win, or you have to spot really good SL5 players a game. Either way, the 23 skill limit really hurts when you have SL6 players.

 

[GoTulane]

Hey All

I know what I want to do, and I can make my own decision, but wanted to see other people's perspectives, and there have been some good ones that I did not consider. This is a good way to look at something from other people's perspectives without the bias, since you do not know anybody involved, and having nothing invested in my decision. But I just want truthful answers - Advice is easy to give - following that same advice yourself is sometimes difficult - What WOULD YOU DO!! No offense - Tone is hard to "READ" on the internet. So read it how you like. I do not like sitting - nobody does - but it is a fact of life.

But it takes time and money to get a babysitter, and when you lose shifts you lose more money - so that is what I am truly weighing in my decision. I am a team player, but a team is not a group. A group in itself does not necessarily constitute a team. Teams normally have members with complementary skills and generate synergy through a coordinated effort which allows each member to maximize his or her strengths and minimize his or her weaknesses. Just my thoughts.

Michael

 

[GoTulane]

Thanks Joe!

Play out the session and the find a new team for you and your wife that you will enjoy playing on. Only way you would HAVE to stay with the same team would be if they won and advanced, right? If that happened, stay with them for the money and the ride to Vegas, otherwise, find some folks that you enjoy hanging out with and get on their team. I will tell you that mospeople in our league feel that a SL-6 is probably the worst SL to be. You are often matched up against SL 7s that could spot you much more than 1 game and still win, or you have to spot really good SL5 players a game. Either way, the 23 skill limit really hurts when you have SL6 players.

Yeah, SL6 is tough for teams. Of course I had been out of APA for 10 years before Katrina(SL7), and was a SL2 for 9 weeks in Texas But I do not sandbag, so SL6 is good for me.
But might just go back to BCA. Maybe that is what I should do? But thanks for the advice.

Michael

 

[1pRoscoe]

Hard to be a part of a team when you're not a "member", per se...

Honestly, I'd tell them they need to find someone to play, not sit out for them...

It's too much work for you to bend over backwards for someone that doens't give a shit about you..... Tell them to piss off.

 

[Cuebacca]

I agree with RRfireBlade. If you would enjoy playing, go for it. You should probably find a new team next year though if you aren't getting to play as much as you'd like to, given the sacrifices you make to be there.

If it's not worth it to you, you can always say screw it. I mean, the 5 and 4 aren't canceling their plans either.

If you do decide to go through all the trouble to play in the city cup, though, make sure the captain promises to actually let you PLAY, no matter what. It would really suck if you took off work, found the baby sitter, showed up, and then found out that the 4 and 5 ended up being able to make it and they sat you out the whole time. Probably unlikely to happen, but you never know, Murphy's Law and all. Just talk to the captain before you go through all the trouble, but nicely of course.

I voted that you should play, because that's probably what you'd have wanted to do from the get-go, if you hadn't hit these bumps on the way.

One more thing... what is a rubber match?

 

[GoTulane]

rubber match definition

I agree with RRfireBlade. If you would enjoy playing, go for it. You should probably find a new team next year though if you aren't getting to play as much as you'd like to, given the sacrifices you make to be there.

If it's not worth it to you, you can always say screw it. I mean, the 5 and 4 aren't canceling their plans either.

If you do decide to go through all the trouble to play in the city cup, though, make sure the captain promises to actually let you PLAY, no matter what. It would really suck if you took off work, found the baby sitter, showed up, and then found out that the 4 and 5 ended up being able to make it and they sat you out the whole time. Probably unlikely to happen, but you never know, Murphy's Law and all. Just talk to the captain before you go through all the trouble, but nicely of course.

I voted that you should play, because that's probably what you'd have wanted to do from the get-go, if you hadn't hit these bumps on the way.

One more thing... what is a rubber match?

Thanks for all the advice.

A rubber match is when your team and the other team are tied 2 matches to 2 matches, and whoever wins the next handicapped match wins the total match to move on to the next round of the plaoffs - the loser goes home. My wife(SL3) beat the other teams SL4 when the teams were tied 2-2, so she was the third win to get the team into the 2nd round of the playoffs. They would not have had another player to play without her, and would have forfeited and gone home for playoffs.

Michael

 

[ShootingArts]

speaking of teams . . .

You have told us how you feel but you are asking us to make a decision for two people, one of them being the other half of the most important team you will ever be on. From your point of view I see pro's and con's. Will you have your heart in it and play your best if you do play? You weren't good enough for them or a part of the team until they were in a bind why help them now? On the other hand you committed to a team. You made an obligation at the beginning of the season and honoring your obligation is the high road.

However, your wife is involved here also. Does she enjoy playing with this team? Does she want to take off work and play? Does she feel she should work? Because your feelings are ambivalent on this I'd let her call the shots on this one. Regardless of what happens this season it is time for both of you to move on to another team or another area of competition next year.

Hu

 

[Cuebacca]

Thanks for all the advice.

A rubber match is when your team and the other team are tied 2 matches to 2 matches, and whoever wins the next handicapped match wins the total match to move on to the next round of the plaoffs - the loser goes home. My wife(SL3) beat the other teams SL4 when the teams were tied 2-2, so she was the third win to get the team into the 2nd round of the playoffs. They would not have had another player to play without her, and would have forfeited and gone home for playoffs.

Michael

Aha! Cool, thanks. That must have been a proud moment in pool for her and I'm sure you were proud of her too. Good luck to you if you two decide to play.

 

[GoTulane]

Wow

Hard to be a part of a team when you're not a "member", per se...

Honestly, I'd tell them they need to find someone to play, not sit out for them...

It's too much work for you to bend over backwards for someone that doens't give a shit about you..... Tell them to piss off.

Ross,

I am usually easy going - but that is exactly how I feel!! But I do not want to do them like they have done me - I am not that type of person - but this treatment has me reconsidering my values

Michael

 

[phinmole]

Ride the wave until the end out of TEAM spirit. APA is all about USE, you should be used to that. Heck, I get used all the time on league night and I have done my share of using! Its all part of the game and life.

So do what you can to support the team you joined and ride the wave until the end. THEN if you are STILL this upset about all this crap (and yes, its crap, nothing is this important to get this mad about), then quit!

Felix
ps. Wish I was on a team that won. We lost in the final round. I must have the worst 4 and 3 in the city on my team and the dumbest 5.
pps. Any yes, not to blow my own horn, but I won every round- as usual haha.
ppps. Michael, get me on your next team. I am a really, really good 5

 

[alstl]

Show up, play, then find another team. Then find you wife a job with similar hours to yours.

 

[GoTulane]

Yeah, it is her decision

You have told us how you feel but you are asking us to make a decision for two people, one of them being the other half of the most important team you will ever be on. From your point of view I see pro's and con's. Will you have your heart in it and play your best if you do play? You weren't good enough for them or a part of the team until they were in a bind why help them now? On the other hand you committed to a team. You made an obligation at the beginning of the season and honoring your obligation is the high road.

However, your wife is involved here also. Does she enjoy playing with this team? Does she want to take off work and play? Does she feel she should work? Because your feelings are ambivalent on this I'd let her call the shots on this one. Regardless of what happens this season it is time for both of you to move on to another team or another area of competition next year.

Hu

Hu,

Yes, it is her decision, but she is more pissed then I am. Can you believe that? It has nothing to do with playing - it has more to do with being NEEDED because of respect other than a heartbeat and a pulse and a skill level.
And she was proudest due to her accomplishment, but that is not the first time she has done that, she is a pretty good SL3
She does not want to miss work, and does not want to spend time off playing pool - why I have the couple's night poll answer!
So ultimately it is her decision, but I do not want to put the pressure on her. This was mainly done in a jesting nature - to get others' opinions, and everyone has been very helpful in helping me with the decision and providing good advice and comments. Because it is my Wife's decision, since she is the one who has invested a lot of free time playing for the team's benefit, and I do not want to make that seem small, since it was huge. Probably wouldn't have made playoffs without her. APA experienced players would understand the importance of a SL3 or SL2 over any other Skill level. Most teams wouldn't be where they are at without that SL2 or SL3. US Sl6's are a dime a dozen

Michael

 

[GoTulane]

Yeah, It is crap!

Ride the wave until the end out of TEAM spirit. APA is all about USE, you should be used to that. Heck, I get used all the time on league night and I have done my share of using! Its all part of the game and life.

So do what you can to support the team you joined and ride the wave until the end. THEN if you are STILL this upset about all this crap (and yes, its crap, nothing is this important to get this mad about), then quit!

Felix
ps. Wish I was on a team that won. We lost in the final round. I must have the worst 4 and 3 in the city on my team and the dumbest 5.
pps. Any yes, not to blow my own horn, but I won every round- as usual haha.
ppps. Michael, get me on your next team. I am a really, really good 5

YEah, you are right - it is crap!! I am more unhappy that my wife is Upset, because she felt ignored on the first night, and every night she has rearranged her night off to help out the team.

Felix - You got a deal - let me get a team together with low handicaps, and you are on. Just no competing with my cue selling
And you would have to leave Metairie and come to the city to play.

Michael

 

[Neil]

..............

 

[GoTulane]

Yeah, you are correct!

The ironic part, is that your wife got you in this mess to start with! Her winning got you to where you are.

I do understand exactly where you are coming from as I have been in a very similar situation before. I got offended on a team event, and ended up telling them to stick it, and called out every player on the team. It felt good for about 1/2 hour. The rest of my life, I have always wished I could get a do-over for that situation. I've never forgotten it, and always regretted it.

You chose to be part of a team. Sometimes teamwork really sucks. You have to take the bad with the good. You can't deny that the captains decisions, whether right or wrong, did result in getting your team where they are. If you drop out now, and the team has to forfeit because of it, how will you really feel then? That is something you have to live with the rest of your life. How will they feel about you? What do you want said by others about your character? Those are the things that will last- your wifes one day off will soon be forgotten in the sceme of things. Your choice.

No you are correct. My character is better than that. just a side story to let you know a little bit more about me.
I played on a non-APA league team about 5 yrs ago, pre-katrina, and I had played on the team for 2 years. I was the captain, but schedules and duties for league to a back seat to WORK, and I removed myself as captain. The new captain started teasing me and just being outright mean to me, so I left the team before the 4th week of the new session and got on the worst team in the same division(they had finished last for 3 sessions running). I enjoyed playing on the team - the guys and gals were great, and we ENJOYED the nights of play - it was fun!!

BTW - that session we won the division, won city cup, won the trip to Vegas. Best time of my life.

I see another one of these moments coming again

Michael