Best One Liners and Action Openers

vagabond said:
You are right on target.History of professional pool reflects that.Players are always suspecious of the motives of the other players.There has been intense mistrust of each other.Also there was jealousy among each others.These two factors lead to lack of unity and sabotage .:cool:
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When one person or entity is given the right to pick and choose players to compete in events, therein likes the politically driven motives of that one person or entity.

A legitimate organization, like the WPBA, must be transparent in order for it to succeed. A legitimate ranking system which is strictly adhered to should be the way players get chosen to attend the high-profile tournaments. An organization should represent the interest of its members as a whole, not younger players versus older players, as one example of discrimination that I have personally experienced in my camp. Charlie "Hillbilly" Bryant opened my eyes in Maine several years ago when he relayed to me what was said to him by the then-existing governing body of professional pool player representative.

It's kind of hard to unite, compete, and strive together when one man's vision or one entity dictates the format and player selection, and paying a C-note to become a professional pool player doesn't quite seem appropriate in today's sports world.

I personally thought the IPT format as a whole was a good one. Players would be picked based on a track record they performed on a field of green. If this format had succeeded, players would be given the opportunity to compete in high-profile events basd on a ranking system.

I saw players competing and striving together during the IPT, practicing their breaks, exchanging game strategies, and helping each other on the offs. Today, it is every man for himself, and many existing pro players here in America have left the building. Since there is no unity in American professional pool today, at least for the men, their idea of survival is to strive it alone. It's really kind of sad to see so many talented players not be able to excel in American professional pool because of the current state of affairs.

JAM
 
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Joey,
JAM may not want to slam the door on any possible future opportunities for KM, but I think that Charlie Williams, the UPA and it's whole 'selection' process is suspect..... imo
Doug
( I hope that I get banned from playing in any future UPA events :) )




not funny, but ON topic...
 
New One on Being Robbed

A good pool friend of mine told me this story. To it's validity, I'm not sure. But, if it is true, it's in the top ten for sure. A very long time ago, 70's?, in High Point NC, Bob Ogburn, Nick Varner, and Searcy and some other apt players were gathered at this one spot all betting pretty high. There were a couple of stakehorses there with stacks. All of a sudden, in walks three hooded, masked men with shotguns. Everyone was told to strip naked while the gunmen robbed the entire joint. They then bolted out. After they left, everyone was scrambling and screaming. Bob was still standing against the wall laughing. Pissed, everyone asks Bob what he thought was so funny. "Hey, I never knew mine was so small."
 
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"I play a little"

crawfish said:
I once was approached by a fellow who had quite the arsenal of cues and asked me to play some "Just for funsies." It was Geese, if anyone remembers this character, and I ended up a $buck down at ten a game. Funsies. Gotta look back and laugh. I think he's dead now, maybe. This was over fifteen years ago and I'd love to have a shot at my $buck back.
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A Hispanic man came up to some friends in Vegas at the ACS Nationals and asked to play some. They declined but came to get me. I took one look at him and said to myself, “ oh hell yeah”. This guy was about 5’6” tall, one eye was looking off to the side when he talked to you, ragged clothes…..I mean who wouldn’t play this guy? Right? I jokingly asked him straight up, are you any good? He said, in a soft broken voice with a Hispanic accent, “I play a little”. We played some $20 a rack 8 ball. I won the first game! That was it. He never missed again, shape or the pocket. To this day whenever I see my ACS buddies they will say, in their best Hispanic accent, “ I play a little”.

Ray

Ps. Someone later told me his name was Chuy and was a master player, maybe from the Chicago area. Great hustle though! LMAO now.
 
Steering it back to the intent of this thread!

At the 2005 U.S. Open, Keith McCready was waiting in the wings at the TV table to play a kid from South Dakota who was fairly new to the tournament scene, but behind the scenes, the bookmakers made Keith a game underdog against him, Shane Van Boening.

The match commenced and the two of them began to give it their all. Keith managed to come out of the gate strong, running a couple racks, leaving Shane benched a few rounds. After Keith pocketed the 9-ball enjoying a 3-game run, he looked over at Shane sitting in his designated chair ever so patiently and said, "Don't worry, Kid. It'll only hurt for a little bit." I'm sure it wasn't very funny to Shane at the time, but the audience got a kick out of it. :p

It was actually one of Shane's premier appearances at a major tournament, and I believe nerves may have gotten the best of him, especially on the TV table with all the lights, cameras, and audience sitting up front and close.

Afterwards, we got to meet the young'n and exchanged a few pleasantries. Later during the off hours of the Open, Shane was seen at the pool room knocking 'em down left and right on the front table. Not too many people knew his speed, and he did enjoy a very lucrative trip that year, though not in the tournament itself. ;)

Hopefully, I won't get chastized for posting a picture of a pool player, as Shane's picture has already been published on numerous occasions in the media. Picture of Keith and Shane taken at the 2005 U.S. Open.

JAM
 

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crawfish said:
I once was approached by a fellow who had quite the arsenal of cues and asked me to play some "Just for funsies." It was Geese, if anyone remembers this character, and I ended up a $buck down at ten a game. Funsies. Gotta look back and laugh. I think he's dead now, maybe. This was over fifteen years ago and I'd love to have a shot at my $buck back.
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Lucky Joey in Charleston describing various opponents:
"He shoots straighter than Jesse James" or " He plays
bang up pool."
And of course every time he won, which was almost always back
in the 70s, " I got lucky."
I heard another player who was killing his opponent, " I'm living
my dream."
My old buddy Gino Palma used to say, " I got terrible palsy."
 
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I was playing a friend of mine, Dave some nine ball, just for practice.
Anyway, Dave takes a flier at really tough bank, and $h!ts in the nine off a ball and a couple of rails.
He walks around to the pocket it fell in, points at the floor under the pocket and says,
"Don't step in that".
I nearly fell over. Well, I thought it was pretty funny at the time.
 
I have a motto that I have lived by for years. " Always play a lock up safety just in case I pocket the object ball!"
 
JAM said:
Vagabond, Geese never had any children. I think you may be thinking of Benny Conway's son, Benny Conway, Jr., both players enjoying The Goose moniker! :)
JAM
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JAM, I tried to PM you but, once again your mailbox is FULL......SO,
JAM,
Please return to www.onepocket.org and clarify your statement in the "Portland Don Watson" thread about Goose. Inquiring minds are patiently waiting...
 
Smorgass Bored said:
JAM, I tried to PM you but, once again your mailbox is FULL......SO,
JAM,
Please return to www.onepocket.org and clarify your statement in the "Portland Don Watson" thread about Goose. Inquiring minds are patiently waiting...
Click to expand...

Done! :p

JAM
 
jay helfert said:
Sigel on the upper left and Tom Vanover on the lower left. Don't know the other guy. Geese could and did play several tournaments and usually finished near the top. He was a respected gambler and top notch One Pocket man. Another one who died young. Still in his 40's I would guess.
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If I am not mistaking, that is arnold brailsford, AKA T-Bird, from South Carolina
 
We have a lot of classics floating around our room, most from the owner.

After crapping a ball in 9-ball: "Oh, you thought I was trying to play it in that other pocket? This was the only way to get shape." or "a lot of amateur players would have shot it straight in instead of going to the 3 rail option I just played" or "most players don't know that shot".

After a miss he sometimes calls the ball a Communist pig. I dunno why but it cracks me up.

My friend and I sometimes say stuff like:
"I haven't missed that shot since I was three!"
After some lucky slop: "I'll teach you that shot for $19.99 or you can order the DVD." or "that one's on page 73 of my book."

In a recent small local tournament, I drew the same guy 3 times via random seeding. According to the employee he had beaten a well known high level player and was the favorite to win the tournament. However they had just replaced the cloth and I managed to get him in all 3 games, maybe because I adapted better to it. He kept going long and leaving himself nothing. Anyway he got to barking pretty angrily and saying he'd play me for money any day of the week etc. etc. I told my friend I was gonna nickname the guy "Pine Tree". My friend says "why?" right on cue.

"Because he's got no leaves!"

corny but we both got a laugh out of it :P

We call one of the local fish "ATM" because you can always get some money from him in a pinch.
 
here's another one of mine - after taking a flyer that doesn't go.

"I saw that shot on tv once...and it didn't go then either."

And another one of mine,

"That's a time shot....next time"
 
lol I love that one about TV. We make a lot of TV comments too.

Just before a flyer: "Watch this I just saw a guy on TV do this".. and after it fails "yeah, he f*ed it up too. Lost 11-0."

After a nice shot: "Wow that was just like on TV dude"

After a sad 10-inning game: "Man I'm glad ESPN wasn't filming today"

lol@time shot too by the way, amma steal that one.
 
The Cat

A guy I know was playing some $200 sets and was getting pretty reckless with the rock. Since I had half of the bet, I asked him to slow down and take it serious. He came back with "Hey I'm f#$@ing this cat, you just hold it's head."
 
"Call ESPN, this one's for the highlight reel." Then fire away at the hail mary.
 
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