The “hard tip is no different than soft tip” argument to me fails at the extremes. No one is using a phenolic playing tip, and to take it to a further extreme if the claim is that the only thing that matters is contact point, than using something ridiculous like an aluminum tip should make no difference in shot ability or spin produced.
It’s obvious than that the coefficient of friction between the tip and the cue ball is at least relevant, and if it can be seen that there is compression (and increased contact surface area) between the tip and the cue, and that this is inversely proportional (-ish) to tip hardness, it may just be that since soft/medium/hard occur in a fairly narrow range so all things considered we can’t measure the difference for the same cue action.
Then this might get into Human Factors engineering principles. It may be that players feel more comfortable (naturally) accelerating through a stroke with a soft tip, because part of the recoil of the cue ball is dampened by the compression of the softer tip. This may then allow a smoother overall stroke and better performance as far as the player is concerned.