Did your pool cause a problem with your partner
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No problems here. My wife is awesome about everything. I just started really getting into pool last year and play league 2/3 nights per week. This year she signed off on my building an outbuilding behind my house and buying a new diamond pro-am. She's a keeper.
I was playing when we met so she knows I'm a pool player. Would I leave her if she demanded I stop? Absolutely ! But she would never do that. She would never stop me from doing what I love me to do!! On another note I also don't let her sitting at home until 2 in the morning while I'm at a bar. Lol I play in leagues and some Saturday tournaments
If you're over 25 and you've never had problems with a significant other because of pool, you got the seven and out.
Wow....can't believe most of you don't have an issue going out and playing pool. Especially if you have young kids. trob is smart though...go out but make sure you know your boundaries. Me, I get 4 hours a week unsupervised fun for my weekly league. I recently introduced Saturday afternoon at my men's club to play a 9ball ring game. BUT, I ALWAYS cut her in when I win. The grumbling has started though. Last week I got "Are you going to the club again to play pool? Oh that's good. I'll just stay here and vacuum and clean." Said with full sarcasm.
Bob
Bob
I'm a lucky man.
I'm sure there are more senior members than myself in this clan but I speak from the voice of experience, not just from my own but from other friends who have shared their experiences with me.
Pool has always been a problem for my wife. She views pool as my mistress and I guess in some ways, she's correct. Lucky for me, I married a tolerant wife who has seen fit to allow me to chase my passion, although I remember one particular time where a guy came into the pool room from out of town.
He wasn't a road player but owned a black night club in a neighboring state and played right at my speed. I think his name was JR or JB. Our games were close at that time and he wanted to play 6 ball, something I never play. I agreed and we played for either 5 or 10 a game. He and I had been drinking earlier in the evening and while I don't gamble and drink as a rule, I broke the rule that time because I was fat with previous ill-gotten wins and knew the fellow would lose good.
Being tired from the alcohol and long evening of playing pool I started drinking copious amounts of coffee to wake me up, as the hours raced on. Before I knew it, we were finally playing for $30 a game with me up a pocket full, whatever that was. I knew he was not the kind of guy you wanted to just up and quit and since we didn't set a quitting hour, I played on and on. Finally at 6:30 am on a Monday morning, I busted him. I was what we called rum-dumb by that time. I couldn't even count my winnings, so I just pulled the cash, now from both pockets and asked my buddy Gene to count it for me. This was around 1982 at the Sport Palace which is open 24/7. Gene counted it up and it was several hundred dollars. I paid the time and tip and made the dreaded phone call I knew I had to make. My wife always gets up around 6:00 am and I knew I couldn't sneak in and ignore her quiet ire.
I didn't have a cell phone back then so I dialed my home number from the pay phone in the pool room and my wife quickly answered the phone. In my most pleasing voice I could muster, I said, "Hey honey, it's me. I'm still at the pool hall but I've won a lot of money and I'll be home soon." I said this all in one breath, hoping she would let me get it all out and she did. But then she barked back at me ferociously with venom in her voice and said, "Why don't you just stay there!" From then on, I knew coming home late was one thing but not coming home until the next day was another thing. I would have to get very reluctant permission to do that in the future. :smile:
I seldom if ever go to bar rooms like I did when I was much younger and so I go to the pool rooms now, swimming upstream to improve my game and as I go out the door, I always say, "I'm going to work." If it happens that she knows I am headed to the pool room and wants me to stop at the post office, she will quip, "Are you going to your bar room?", knowing that I don't go to bar rooms but saying it nonetheless. She still gets in her jabs when she can but I consider myself a very lucky man.
Maybe my wife has been tolerant of my degenerate behavior because I didn't spend any of my regular business's earnings on gambling or pool and that I spent lots of quality time with our son as he was growing up. It probably helps that my wife knows how to spend money in a good way. I have never paid a bill or seen a paycheck in scores of years and still don't today. I have always trusted her completely in everything and she knows this old dog is too smart to not count his blessings.
JoeyA
I'm sure there are more senior members than myself in this clan but I speak from the voice of experience, not just from my own but from other friends who have shared their experiences with me.
Pool has always been a problem for my wife. She views pool as my mistress and I guess in some ways, she's correct. Lucky for me, I married a tolerant wife who has seen fit to allow me to chase my passion, although I remember one particular time where a guy came into the pool room from out of town.
He wasn't a road player but owned a black night club in a neighboring state and played right at my speed. I think his name was JR or JB. Our games were close at that time and he wanted to play 6 ball, something I never play. I agreed and we played for either 5 or 10 a game. He and I had been drinking earlier in the evening and while I don't gamble and drink as a rule, I broke the rule that time because I was fat with previous ill-gotten wins and knew the fellow would lose good.
Being tired from the alcohol and long evening of playing pool I started drinking copious amounts of coffee to wake me up, as the hours raced on. Before I knew it, we were finally playing for $30 a game with me up a pocket full, whatever that was. I knew he was not the kind of guy you wanted to just up and quit and since we didn't set a quitting hour, I played on and on. Finally at 6:30 am on a Monday morning, I busted him. I was what we called rum-dumb by that time. I couldn't even count my winnings, so I just pulled the cash, now from both pockets and asked my buddy Gene to count it for me. This was around 1982 at the Sport Palace which is open 24/7. Gene counted it up and it was several hundred dollars. I paid the time and tip and made the dreaded phone call I knew I had to make. My wife always gets up around 6:00 am and I knew I couldn't sneak in and ignore her quiet ire.
I didn't have a cell phone back then so I dialed my home number from the pay phone in the pool room and my wife quickly answered the phone. In my most pleasing voice I could muster, I said, "Hey honey, it's me. I'm still at the pool hall but I've won a lot of money and I'll be home soon." I said this all in one breath, hoping she would let me get it all out and she did. But then she barked back at me ferociously with venom in her voice and said, "Why don't you just stay there!" From then on, I knew coming home late was one thing but not coming home until the next day was another thing. I would have to get very reluctant permission to do that in the future. :smile:
I seldom if ever go to bar rooms like I did when I was much younger and so I go to the pool rooms now, swimming upstream to improve my game and as I go out the door, I always say, "I'm going to work." If it happens that she knows I am headed to the pool room and wants me to stop at the post office, she will quip, "Are you going to your bar room?", knowing that I don't go to bar rooms but saying it nonetheless. She still gets in her jabs when she can but I consider myself a very lucky man.
Maybe my wife has been tolerant of my degenerate behavior because I didn't spend any of my regular business's earnings on gambling or pool and that I spent lots of quality time with our son as he was growing up. It probably helps that my wife knows how to spend money in a good way. I have never paid a bill or seen a paycheck in scores of years and still don't today. I have always trusted her completely in everything and she knows this old dog is too smart to not count his blessings.
JoeyA
As we decided to get married, I told my wife to never ask me to quit pool because it was the love of my life. I said I won't quit so get used to it or don't marry me.
She raised her eyebrows at the "love of my life" comment, but I told here I meant it and I did.
She's never raised the issue again and I respect our marriage by not overplaying.
(btw, we met in a poolhall, but she never played then or now. I think I;ve played her only 2 times in 20 years and we have a home table!)
Jeff Livingston
She raised her eyebrows at the "love of my life" comment, but I told here I meant it and I did.
She's never raised the issue again and I respect our marriage by not overplaying.
(btw, we met in a poolhall, but she never played then or now. I think I;ve played her only 2 times in 20 years and we have a home table!)
Jeff Livingston
YES, I did not mind when she went or how long she stayed, but when she started bringing those bums home , I went off like a rocket.
Absolutely no problems. Up until this season, my wife played on my team as well as Scotch with me.
As good as it is to have at least one hobby that both people can do together, its also important to have outside interests away from each other.
When I go out the door with my cue case in hand, my wife knows exactly where I am headed and has never questioned me.
Yeah, once in awhile she will joke around about me going out to see my new girl friend and I always tell her that next to her, I am in love with a 9 footer down at the pool hall.
When I read stories on AZ of people telling stories of their wives or girlfriends giving them a hard time about having one night out with the boys for team play, I can't understand it.
I play 3 nights a week, one of them with my wife. When our hall was still open, I was there friday nights, Saturday tourneys and Sat night, with or without my wife. It was always her option to come with me. Sometimes she did and sometimes not, but she knew that I was going either way.
Never once did she complain. I took her to movies and out for supper together to make up for it.
As good as it is to have at least one hobby that both people can do together, its also important to have outside interests away from each other.
When I go out the door with my cue case in hand, my wife knows exactly where I am headed and has never questioned me.
Yeah, once in awhile she will joke around about me going out to see my new girl friend and I always tell her that next to her, I am in love with a 9 footer down at the pool hall.
When I read stories on AZ of people telling stories of their wives or girlfriends giving them a hard time about having one night out with the boys for team play, I can't understand it.
I play 3 nights a week, one of them with my wife. When our hall was still open, I was there friday nights, Saturday tourneys and Sat night, with or without my wife. It was always her option to come with me. Sometimes she did and sometimes not, but she knew that I was going either way.
Never once did she complain. I took her to movies and out for supper together to make up for it.
It did in my first marriage, of course everything was a problem in that marriage. This go around I have learned to manage my time better. There are still issues here and there but no biggies.
Robert Byrne said something in one of his books that is worth repeating here. (Paraphrasing) If you want to be good at pool quit your job and get a divorce!
Robert Byrne said something in one of his books that is worth repeating here. (Paraphrasing) If you want to be good at pool quit your job and get a divorce!
That sounds like Sam Snead's golf advice:
Reporter: "Mr. Snead, what advice would you give an aspiring golfer?"
Snead: "Stay single."
My wife has her days where she believes pool is the devil...It boils down like this. If I bring home the cheese then pool is a great thing and I should play all of the time, If I break even then pool is okay but I could have just stayed home and still had the same amount of $$$...If I loose pool is the wost thing in the world and I'm in the dog house the next few times I mention going to play pool....LOL
All in all my wife is okay with me playing but she doesn't seem to understand that I need to play to stay in stroke and I need to play a lot if I'm going to improve...
All in all my wife is okay with me playing but she doesn't seem to understand that I need to play to stay in stroke and I need to play a lot if I'm going to improve...
I had trouble with my ex-wife about the amount of time I spent shooting.
But we didn't split over pool really, it was the general lack of time together.
The amount of time I want to spend doing my things (whether it's pool, or something else)
is just too much to realistically have in a relationship, unless we could somehow
turn "my things" into "our things" (i.e. she shoots with me).
Basically I wasn't ready for marriage. I was unable to find satisfaction doing
other activities at home. Watching movies or going out to dinner wasn't really
an adequate substitute for shooting. And she couldn't get into pool.
So my time at home I was bored and restless.
I guess you could say pool won but really it's a tradeoff, I'm glad I can
spend my time the way I want, but being single forever is not
a good route to lifelong happiness.
But we didn't split over pool really, it was the general lack of time together.
The amount of time I want to spend doing my things (whether it's pool, or something else)
is just too much to realistically have in a relationship, unless we could somehow
turn "my things" into "our things" (i.e. she shoots with me).
Basically I wasn't ready for marriage. I was unable to find satisfaction doing
other activities at home. Watching movies or going out to dinner wasn't really
an adequate substitute for shooting. And she couldn't get into pool.
So my time at home I was bored and restless.
I guess you could say pool won but really it's a tradeoff, I'm glad I can
spend my time the way I want, but being single forever is not
a good route to lifelong happiness.
Yep. Loved playing pool, still do. First wife gave me hell about it. She was jealous of it because pool made me extremely happy, and we were both young when we married, and she was a few years younger than me. We were both immature. I was only working part-time, but playing for money was a full-time job. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost, but I'd have to say overall I'm still in the black. The times I won, she loved it; the times I lost, she could have killed me. She never liked pool, only the money it brought in sometimes, and when it didn't bring in any money, or lost money, she was the spawn of Satan. I had two great sponsors that I lost because I quit pool because of her, both of whom I admire and respect to this day. I crapped on both of them, and have begged their forgiveness and understanding. Fortunately, the story gets better. I am now married to my best friend in the whole world, one who loves me AND loves that I play pool, and that I'm pretty decent at it. Matter of fact, after not playing for a LONG time (about eight years - a lifetime to me in the pool world), my current wife told me that I should start playing again, and even bought me a cue for Christmas. She never nags me about pool, always loves to go and watch me play, and she's my biggest fan. No, she's not a lover of pool itself but she enjoys watching, and she loves me enough to let me do something that I love to do, because she knows that I would never put pool over her. Part of the reason why I took so long to come back to pool was because I was worried that it would cause problems with someone I loved so dearly, but she proved me wrong. SHE'S A KEEPER!
I just got married a few months ago after dating my wife for about 4 years. Prior to dating, I was in the poolroom about every day, no less than 2 or 3 hours each day (weekends were more, much more). Between pool and online poker, I was occupied with my hobbies about 40 hours a week. I actually started exercising just before meeting her but it was the beginning of a shift in my life.
During those first two years, we had a lot of problems with the amount of pool I was playing. Like others have said, pool was like a mistress and my wife was growing impatient. There were a lot of discussions and the bottom line was an agreement. This agreement we have goes both ways even though at the time, it was about me. Every decision we make about our free-time is a mutual decision. Whether we're talking about joining a league, hanging-out in the poolroom all night, going to Las Vegas for the BCA or anything. We discuss it and we compromise.
In the end, I had to quit playing a few nights but I still play in two leagues. I also will get to the poolroom once or twice during the week, especially if something important is coming-up. She likes to travel so going to tournaments often isn't a problem but we do the math. We lay-out our vacation days and subtract how many can be devoted to pool.
On the flip side, I've quit smoking. The last few days, I ran 3 miles each day in 30 minutes. My body-fat percentage is lower than it's been in decades (17.5%) and my weight is down. I've received 2 promotions at work and expect another shortly (fastest career-growth I've ever experienced). All of this has happened since I met her, since I cut-down on my pool time. There's no doubt in my mind that my life has improved exponentially since meeting her.
We're about two years away from buying our first house and we expect to buy a pool table at the same time. I'm always going to play pool. She knows that and, she enjoys that. I may not make it to the poolroom as often as I once did but that's okay. I like movie-night and I love her cooking.
Anyone who is having problems because of pool needs to re-evaluate their lives. The game will always be there. How important is the win if you have nobody to share it with? If she's your partner in life, you have to also make her your pool-partner too. Get her involved in managing your hobby and you'll be rewarded with a happier home which might improve your pool game. If anything, it'll improve your life.
During those first two years, we had a lot of problems with the amount of pool I was playing. Like others have said, pool was like a mistress and my wife was growing impatient. There were a lot of discussions and the bottom line was an agreement. This agreement we have goes both ways even though at the time, it was about me. Every decision we make about our free-time is a mutual decision. Whether we're talking about joining a league, hanging-out in the poolroom all night, going to Las Vegas for the BCA or anything. We discuss it and we compromise.
In the end, I had to quit playing a few nights but I still play in two leagues. I also will get to the poolroom once or twice during the week, especially if something important is coming-up. She likes to travel so going to tournaments often isn't a problem but we do the math. We lay-out our vacation days and subtract how many can be devoted to pool.
On the flip side, I've quit smoking. The last few days, I ran 3 miles each day in 30 minutes. My body-fat percentage is lower than it's been in decades (17.5%) and my weight is down. I've received 2 promotions at work and expect another shortly (fastest career-growth I've ever experienced). All of this has happened since I met her, since I cut-down on my pool time. There's no doubt in my mind that my life has improved exponentially since meeting her.
We're about two years away from buying our first house and we expect to buy a pool table at the same time. I'm always going to play pool. She knows that and, she enjoys that. I may not make it to the poolroom as often as I once did but that's okay. I like movie-night and I love her cooking.
Anyone who is having problems because of pool needs to re-evaluate their lives. The game will always be there. How important is the win if you have nobody to share it with? If she's your partner in life, you have to also make her your pool-partner too. Get her involved in managing your hobby and you'll be rewarded with a happier home which might improve your pool game. If anything, it'll improve your life.