Howard Vickery, during a break in the action, camera is scanning the crowd in the stands. He asks the cameraman to go back to a spectator who Howard notices is wearing a belt AND suspenders. Howard says, " I sure wouldn't want to match up with a guy that doesn't even trust his own pants."
Favorite accu-stat commentator quotes
- Thread starter donny mills
- Start date
That is way too funny
2000 U.S. Open 9-ball. Johnny Archer vs. Efren Reyes. Billy Incardona and Grady Matthews doing commentary.
Grady: "This is a pretty difficult tournament to win. Especially if you do like you [Incardona] and forget to send your entry fee in."
Billy: "Well, you sent yours in and I'm in the same place as you are [the announcer's booth after being knocked out of the tournament]"
Grady: "This is a pretty difficult tournament to win. Especially if you do like you [Incardona] and forget to send your entry fee in."
Billy: "Well, you sent yours in and I'm in the same place as you are [the announcer's booth after being knocked out of the tournament]"
Some dialog from the Varner-Ortmann semi-final match commentary, '89 U.S. Open 14.1 Championship. Funny stuff 
[Jimmy Mataya briefly visits the booth]
Grady: You got any thoughts on this match Jimmy?
Jimmy: I'm only here to challenge the winner to $100,000 dollars. The loser I'd like to wish him luck on his way home, the winner, he can keep his trophy I just want his cash. Thank you.
...
[After Grady makes a comment about not having ever bested Jimmy Mataya in their duels over the years.]
Bill: You're becoming very modest in your older age. Are you trying to develop or adopt a new type of style for yourself, are you trying to beg now for handicaps or what are you trying to do?
Grady: That's that new soft con that I've adopted, and I've found that it works very well with these unsuspecting pool players [Bill: "Such as who"?] I lull them into a false sense of security--
Bill: Yes, how's it feel to be unarmed every time you go to the table?
Grady: Well, I'm unarmed in the respect that I have a hard time making any difficult shot, and I possess virtually no heart, God however was good enough to grace me with a halfway respectable head and I try to avail myself of it occasionally.
...
Bill: Yeah it's just like knitting a sweater, you start with a little ball, and you just start knitting and knitting and it gets bigger and bigger and eventually you have your sweater. And that's what he's doing now, he's just picking off balls one at a time, and eventually all the balls are gonna be gone.
Jeff: Well if I could use an analogy for your analogy Billy, it'd be like rolling a snowball down a hill it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, which doesn't have anything to do with comparing it to this pool game.
Bill: Well thanks a lot, Jeff.
...
[After some discussion of shot clocks in straight pool tournaments]
Grady: I'd like to put a pocket clock on Billy, some of those times when he's real reluctant to go to his pocket, put a clock on him maybe a one minute clock, and that would save all of us a lot of money.
Bill: That would be the most foolish thing you could ever possibly do is put a shot clock on me going to my pocket. Matter of fact I've gone to my pocket so regular and so quick that I've had second thoughts about ever going to my pocket again. You know, I mean, it's ridiculous.
Jeff: I tell you what, I wouldn't mind playing Billy if he never went for his hole.
[Long pause]
Grady: I was referring to his pocket where he keeps his money.
Bill: My hip pocket. That's what I was referring to, my hip pocket.
Jeff: Well, uhh, I was referring to that also. (laugh)
...
Jeff: Well, I think Nick is displaying intrepidity at the table today, don't you think Grady?
Grady: I certainly do.
[Pause]
Bill: Well as long as you two fellas are in agreement there, then I have to go along with ya.
Jeff: Bill, maybe you'd like to explain to us what I just said.
Bill: You said that Nick was a slow player, and obviously you were wrong there?
Grady: You're suggesting that Nick is playing with a lot of acumen, he's perspicacious--
Bill: ...and he's a good player!
Bill: Jeff, if you want to start something up here, you're really going to have to work for it. I'm telling you that right now. (laugh)
[Jimmy Mataya briefly visits the booth]
Grady: You got any thoughts on this match Jimmy?
Jimmy: I'm only here to challenge the winner to $100,000 dollars. The loser I'd like to wish him luck on his way home, the winner, he can keep his trophy I just want his cash. Thank you.
...
[After Grady makes a comment about not having ever bested Jimmy Mataya in their duels over the years.]
Bill: You're becoming very modest in your older age. Are you trying to develop or adopt a new type of style for yourself, are you trying to beg now for handicaps or what are you trying to do?
Grady: That's that new soft con that I've adopted, and I've found that it works very well with these unsuspecting pool players [Bill: "Such as who"?] I lull them into a false sense of security--
Bill: Yes, how's it feel to be unarmed every time you go to the table?
Grady: Well, I'm unarmed in the respect that I have a hard time making any difficult shot, and I possess virtually no heart, God however was good enough to grace me with a halfway respectable head and I try to avail myself of it occasionally.
...
Bill: Yeah it's just like knitting a sweater, you start with a little ball, and you just start knitting and knitting and it gets bigger and bigger and eventually you have your sweater. And that's what he's doing now, he's just picking off balls one at a time, and eventually all the balls are gonna be gone.
Jeff: Well if I could use an analogy for your analogy Billy, it'd be like rolling a snowball down a hill it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, which doesn't have anything to do with comparing it to this pool game.
Bill: Well thanks a lot, Jeff.
...
[After some discussion of shot clocks in straight pool tournaments]
Grady: I'd like to put a pocket clock on Billy, some of those times when he's real reluctant to go to his pocket, put a clock on him maybe a one minute clock, and that would save all of us a lot of money.
Bill: That would be the most foolish thing you could ever possibly do is put a shot clock on me going to my pocket. Matter of fact I've gone to my pocket so regular and so quick that I've had second thoughts about ever going to my pocket again. You know, I mean, it's ridiculous.
Jeff: I tell you what, I wouldn't mind playing Billy if he never went for his hole.
[Long pause]
Grady: I was referring to his pocket where he keeps his money.
Bill: My hip pocket. That's what I was referring to, my hip pocket.
Jeff: Well, uhh, I was referring to that also. (laugh)
...
Jeff: Well, I think Nick is displaying intrepidity at the table today, don't you think Grady?
Grady: I certainly do.
[Pause]
Bill: Well as long as you two fellas are in agreement there, then I have to go along with ya.
Jeff: Bill, maybe you'd like to explain to us what I just said.
Bill: You said that Nick was a slow player, and obviously you were wrong there?
Grady: You're suggesting that Nick is playing with a lot of acumen, he's perspicacious--
Bill: ...and he's a good player!
Bill: Jeff, if you want to start something up here, you're really going to have to work for it. I'm telling you that right now. (laugh)
Billy and Grady commentating full rack banks between Gary Spaeth and Buddy Hall. Gary needs 5 balls to win the game:
Grady: "Gary's probably out here."
Billy: "Probably out???? Probably out???? (laughs). We're playing bank pool here, not straight pool!"
Grady: "Gary's probably out here."
Billy: "Probably out???? Probably out???? (laughs). We're playing bank pool here, not straight pool!"
Oh my God...I literally laughed so loud co-workers were asking me what was so funny!
Here's another from our favorite commentator Grady during a match with Mike Sigel and Nick Varner...
where Nick has two games to Mikes seven or so and just missed position. "Had we been in
another arena the cry of anguish might have been heard four or five blocks down the road."
...
"Mike's been known to change 'yes men' in mid match."
Yes, Grady was one of a kind!!!
.
Danny Diliberto said that he's never missed a shot from the announcer's booth. Also, when the other commentator does good commentary, he complements them on how well they're 'shooting' from the announcer's booth.
In one of the matches Billy Incardona said that he was one of the best [announcer's] booth players in the world.
In one of the matches Billy Incardona said that he was one of the best [announcer's] booth players in the world.
I like one from the AccuStats 8 ball invitational. Billy I. and Tony Annigoni are commentating teh Efren Johnny match. About 1/2 way through the match:
Annigoni: Billy, I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick Efren to win this match.
Billy: Go out on a limb? That's like saying "I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick Johnny Unitas to complete a pass"
Annigoni: I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick Incardona to lose his next bout in the announcers booth. (they were laughing)
Those two guys did a great job at that tournament. Annigoni was great at playing dumb and asking Billy obviously leading questions, providing him a springboard to launch into excellent explanations of 8 ball strategy. I learned quite a lot from those tapes.
KMRUNOUT
Annigoni: Billy, I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick Efren to win this match.
Billy: Go out on a limb? That's like saying "I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick Johnny Unitas to complete a pass"
Annigoni: I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick Incardona to lose his next bout in the announcers booth. (they were laughing)
Those two guys did a great job at that tournament. Annigoni was great at playing dumb and asking Billy obviously leading questions, providing him a springboard to launch into excellent explanations of 8 ball strategy. I learned quite a lot from those tapes.
KMRUNOUT
