Funny pic/gif thread...

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(I knew it was Sagan, and I have no clue who the female is...)

I suck at telling jokes...I should have just found something and copied it, but here goes:

FAMOUS LAST WORDS:

An older couple was sitting having breakfast one day and while John was reading the morning paper, Marjorie asked, “John, if I die would you marry some young beautiful vixen right away?”
Taken aback a little, John replied, “No. I’m not sure what brought this on, but no, I would not get remarried at all. We’ve been together for a very long time and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
A couple days later, Marjorie posed the question again…”John, are you sure if I died you wouldn’t get remarried to some young vixen?”
Again, John was taken by surprise and replied, “No…I would not…we’ve been together for so long, I don’t really see the sense in it and that’s all there is to it!”
Apparently still not satisfied with his answer, several days later she again posed the question. “John, if I die would you remarry a twenty-something young woman?”
“You know what…yes, since you’ve asked me several times, sure, I suppose I would remarry” replied John more than a little perturbed.
“Would you keep the house and live in it with your new wife?” asked Marjorie.
“Yes, I’d keep the house…it’s a really nice house and there’d be no real reason to get rid of it” John said.
“Would you keep our bed and sleep in it with your new wife?” Marjorie questioned.
“Of course I’d keep our bed…there’s nothing wrong with it and I don’t see a point in getting rid of it either” John stated.
“Would you keep my golf clubs?” Marjorie queried.
“Oh gosh no, she’s left-handed!”
 
JAMSGOLF said:
(I knew it was Sagan, and I have no clue who the female is...)

I suck at telling jokes...I should have just found something and copied it, but here goes:

FAMOUS LAST WORDS:

~~~~~snip~~~~~
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I didn't see that one coming -- funny stuff.
 
A dying wife said to her husband, "John, there is something that I have to tell you".
"Thats ok, you just rest now, theres no need for talking".
"But its something that I have to get off my mind".
"I don't need to hear it".
I have to be able to die in peace, please listen".
"Ok, what is it".
"John, I have been having an affair on you for a very long time now".
"I know, thats why I poisoned you".
 
..........
8Ball48043 said:
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." Then the fight started.........
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Hungarian Nut said:
Corner Market, When you going to post the video of Earl and Joe Rogan in the parking lot?

Thanks..
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Once the release forms are all signed and notarized!

Bob <~~Knows nothing about any parking lot vid but hope it does exist :rolleyes:]
 
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____________________________________________________________-
Dear Abby,

I hate having to write to you, but I have nowhere else to turn.

My problem is that my husband is a sex maniac. He wants to do it all the time, anytime, anywhere. Just last week I was washing dishes, and he came up behind me, pulled my pants down, and proceeded to have sex with me. The other day, I came home from grocery shopping, and as I bent down to put the bags on the floor, he came up behind me again, and proceeded to do the same thing.
This morning I was sweeping the stairs, and as I neared the bottom stair, it happened again !!! Abby, I have no idea what to do. My husband catches me leaning or bending forward, and the next thing I know, I'm being screwed from behind. Heck, I had to hide in the closet and duck into the bathroom before coming to the den to send you this message. Even now, I'm trying to keep moving before he catches me again.

Abby, what advice can yofadnv dss gdsds gdsdsf gfh yt765 tehhteht ksjghsa lksjvdslfraey yernhjryt yjsr ny fng btnn bdjkvbd rahg rahg rahte ahte aheahte ahytjs rmj h fn rhts tesrh
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Hi James.
Yes, with some good playing and bit of luck, our team will have a good chance of being there. Even if we don't I think I will be flying up just for the weekend. I want to run into Darcy from Cue Joe's Cue Repair and it would be good to see you again also.
Maybe we will have time for a beer this time around. Last year, every time I saw you, you had a cue in your hand.

Terry.

Hahaha, the spider article was great.
I am away traveling in time and will be back last week.

Have you ever seen the one where the guy mailed a picture of a cheque to pay a speeding ticket.
Someone at the Police Dept had a sense of humor and sent him back a picture of a pair of hand cuffs.
 
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