Funny pic/gif thread...

Mr. Wilson said:
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random-shite-2015-01-22-33.jpg
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The way I see it
...he WAS a fruit
...and NOW he's a vegetable.

cop.gif
 
Police Officer Test ​

How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?

The answer is found below. I just know this question has been on your minds for years!



QUESTION: You’re a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.


You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?

ANSWER:

Australian Police Officer:

Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.

1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?

2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?

3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?

4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

5) Am I dressed provocatively?

6) Could I run away?

7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?

8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?

9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?

10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?

11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?

12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?

13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?


Canadian Police Officer:

BANG !

American Police Officer:

BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !

'Click'...Reload...

BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !


Glasgow Police Officer:


"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knifie reet this minute noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"
 
Can you see that the body that they were carrying is still intact in the video.

Watch again at 1:23.

At least 85 people were killed when a car bomb exploded during a funeral procession Saturday evening in the Syrian town of Zamalka, activists and human rights groups said.

People had gathered to honor a resident of the town near Damascus who had been killed earlier in the day, said Abu Omar, an activist in Zamalka who attended the funeral. The resident, Abdul Hadi Halabi, had been killed by gunfire when government forces briefly entered the town from their checkpoints . . . . The antigovernment Local Coordination Committees put the number of dead at 85. . . .Though protests and funeral processions have been attacked with gunfire and shelling, activists said it was the first time they could recall a bomb targeting such a gathering.
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Altho, I can appreciate the Irony of it.
 
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Watching tv and movies as a youngster, I had often wondered if a person can be knocked cold from a chop to the neck. The Man From U.N.C.L.E was famous for doing that.

Your carotid artery and jugular vein run upside you neck so figure it is a way of cutting off the blood flow momentarily.

A chop must compress the artery and vein, and it takes a bit of time for both to inflate again.

That's cutting off the blood supply to your brain and the return thru your vein.

I wouldn't want to be the demo Boy for too many of those in one class.

When I would embalm a body, I always raised both from an incision on the inside of your collar bone. So maybe your artery and vein aren't involved and it is a nerve that he is hitting.

Be interesting to know which it is. On the other hand, I believe that is what is happening when a Choke, or Sleeper hold is put on a person.

The Sensei is obviously good at what he does. There are many points in a neck and your face that can be touched and will bring on extreme pain without much effort also.
 
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