Has Pool/Billiards cost you a divorce?

[mia]

My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!

It seems pretty clear from your post that pool is every bit as importnat as your wife/family. If that's the case, you should leave her because its not fair to her in the least. She married you because she loved you and wanted to spend the rest of her life with you. But by spending all of your time out of the house and NOT with her, you make it clear that she just isn't as importnat to you as she may have once been.

If she is, scaling pool back a little shouldn't hurt you in the least. It may be one of those things that you miss, that makes you itch for the old days when you see it on ESPN or pass by a pool hall, but if you really don't kow what to do her, let her go and find happiness elsewhere. Because there probably is someone out there who can and will make her happy.

If the thought of her moving on with someone else sickens you, scale the pool back some.

 

[tom mcgonagle]

Pool isn't the only game where relationships struggle. It goes on everywhere.

I once new a friend that was given the ultimatum, it's me or pool. He told his wife, "See you later."

I'm not condoning this just stating a fact. It's not for everyone, marriage or pool.

Being good or great at anything requires a lot of time and effort. You also have to be selfish in many respects. You need to do, what you have to do. If the person your with doesn't know this and support you, life isn't easy. A divorce is probably, a good thing. There's no sense in everyone being miserable. Hopefully there aren't any children involved. There the ones, that matter the most.

I gave the game up for five years when my children were in their formative years. Best decision I ever made. I'm back playing again and with great peace of mind. I was there when it mattered most.

My wife is getting even with me these days. She's become a work-a-holic and I get to wait for her to come home now. Oh well, what goes around, comes around.

__________________________________

But that's all right I get to do what I like to do all day.

http://tommcgonaglerightoncue.com

 

[Jason Robichaud]

I didn't read all post yet, I am sure many here are posting it has or almost caused a divorce/split. Funny how pool gets into you with no thought of anything other than playing.

Wonder if this is how all the rich people think about money?

I think what you should do, if you are looking to save the marriage, is make a schedule and stick to it. On the nights you play make sure she has something to do. When you get home ask about her night first and write down what she says... cause you won't remember, you will be thinking about your night of pool. Have 1 night just for you guys (make it a week night) nothing worst than having a big event scheduled and not being able to go.

 

[TXsouthpaw]

My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!

Not yet but ask me in a year. She gave me the ultimatum and I told her if i had to choose it would be pool. For one simple reason, she never had a problem with it before the wedding so now why all of sudden? It wasnt about pool it was about controling me and that wasnt gonna fly. If i had given up pool and started golfing more then she wouldve wanted me to give up golf too, and so on and so on.


All this coming from a woman who ordered me a pool table cake for our wedding day.( i posted the pix). She knew what she was getting into so asking me to change wasnt right.

All that being said, I did cut back on the going out and drinking I did compromise and tell her id practice at home more. I dont think she actually wanted me to give it up completely I think she was just testing her boundries and trying to see what she could get away with now that were married. I put my foot down, and things are fine now.


Just compromise a little and youll be a lot better off. Skip one tourney a week and take her to dinner instead. Itll save you alot of headaches and maybe save your marriage.


Besides you know what they call a poolplayer without a wife.............. homeless.

 

[mia]

I think in all honesty, it really boils down to this...

You can put every single day and every single night into this game and come away with great memories and even greater headaches. You can make money fast and hand it over to someone ujst as fast. But in 20, 30, or even 40 years, when you can't even stand for more than 5 minutes without the assistance of a cane or a wheelchair, try saying this to yourself:

"Wow! Looking back on it all, I'm glad I gave the (choose one: game - wife) up"???

If when you read that you chose the word 'wife', you shouldn't be married to begin with.

 

[Jaden]

Shit I told my wife I wanted to teach our daughter....

is that supposed to be a joke? now way! pregnant or not you don't give up pool for her. tell her you want full custody so you can raise your little pool player without her negative BS!

or you calculate how much table time child support is going to eat up and adjust accordingly.

She said, I don't want her to turn into a lesbian......LOL....

Jaden

 

[Yancey]

First, I play four to five hours a day and work a full time job. I have my own 9 ft table in my "cave" and it is furnished nicely because it was my wife's idea for me to go back to competitive pool. When we had kids around the house, it was hard to take away from the family, wife or kids to practice, even at home.

20+ years later, and happily married these are the things that I contribute to what makes it work for us.

1. My wife is a supportive person and would rather me be us walking around a pool table and out doing something than watching a TV or being on a computer.

2. The next one is IMPORTANT, my wife is NOT the type of woman that needs me to entertain her. She has her OWN interests and we both have our own independance within our relationship to do what we respectively like to do.

3. We have always had the rule that on Friday nights we go out to eat and a movie if we see something we like. In other words a date night this can be any day of the week and some weeks we dont go if we have a commitment.

4. My wife actually pushes me to practice or to go to a local tournament as she likes to see me come home with more money than I left with. I on the other hand just LOVE the game, I can blame guys like Luther Lassiter, who often came by George Baker's Pool Hall in Fuquay Springs NC many years ago and recently guys like Stan Shuffett. The truth be known, I just love to play the ghost as much if not more than going to a tournament. I just love to stroke the balls and play on my 9 footer. You have to ask why you like the game, for some it is the love of competition, for some it is the performer in you, for some it is a true love of the game. If it is the later, I would think that you get as much enjoyment just hitting them alone as you do with others, but that is why I draw a distinction between the love of competition and being on stage and the love of the game.

I wish you the best, I hope you will think long and hard about where and who you want to be with or not be with and God Bless.

 

[JimS]

Maybe I missed your answer to my question but the single most important factor here is;
ARE THERE KIDS INVOLVED?

If there are kids involved then you quit whatever you have to quit to be a dad. Period. Being a REAL dad is the most important job any man can have and should be his number one priority in life.

 

[Jason Robichaud]

Maybe I missed your answer to my question but the single most important factor here is;
ARE THERE KIDS INVOLVED?

If there are kids involved then you quit whatever you have to quit to be a dad. Period. Being a REAL dad is the most important job any man can have and should be his number one priority in life.

I think he posted no kids