Guess y'all will have to find where Ames is these days...if a room wants to stay open and make something of it these days, they'll need to offer food, drinks and people going out for a fun night will want music playing.
That having been said, there can be a happy medium regarding volume. There won't be a setting that will make everyone happy. For the "out for a night out" crowd, they will want it at least to a medium volume. I agree that too loud is, well, too loud. But that is often a moving target.
As for the stuff that is played on the jukeboxes, I wonder if there is a way to have todays jukeboxes edit what is available to be played. As someone pointed out, the jukeboxes are owned by outside concerns, not the room owners. Most are online and also able to controlled via a smartphone app, so far as selections are concerned. And yes, you can pay extra to have your songs moved up to the front of the que.
Personally, I'm not a fan of the gangsta rap or death metal, but i can deal with most anything that gets played. The most annoying to me is one night when one particular league team played there and loaded the box up with extended Grateful Dead/Dave Mathews/Phish jams....a little of that is enough for me, heh heh. And when those songs go 10 to 15 minutes, it wears on me. Still, its not enough to drive me out. The volume at our room is likely too loud for many of you, given your comments, but its not so loud that we can't have conversations around the table and at the seats nearby. I feel its actually controlled pretty well.
And the room makes money, its busy every night.