If you think you are having a bad pool day, read this

hang-the-9

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Since there have been new members here that have not had the pleasure of running into PoolKillers and a few other names he/she/it went by, for your reading pleasure, I present the official unofficial made up rules of 8 ball. It will immediately elevate whatever issue you are having with the game to genius status compared to this. I do not suggest reading this while drinking anything hot that can hurt you if spilled or spewed out in laughter or while operating machinery.

http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?t=283041&highlight=PoolKiller

As a sample:

"Pool tables come in many shapes and forms; however, they all share a similar layout: surface, six holes, four borders, ball container and ball exit hole. Most of them have a separated exit hole for white ball (white exit hole) and a coin entry (especially in bars). Table layout in details is presented in the following chapter."

I have not seen so much effort put into such a pile of crap before short of terrorist propaganda.
 
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StraightPoolIU

Brent
Silver Member
Oh man I remember that. Hilarious. Can't believe people even got mad about it. I'm convinced it was grand master level trolling. I mean old boy wrote an entire manual of nonsense.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk
 

Bob Jewett

AZB Osmium Member
Staff member
Gold Member
Silver Member
Oh man I remember that. Hilarious. Can't believe people even got mad about it. I'm convinced it was grand master level trolling. I mean old boy wrote an entire manual of nonsense.
I think he wasted a lot of time typing the whole thing, so he loses points for inefficiency. Here is what he had to say about chalk:

4. Chalk
After each shot is made, the tip of the stick tends to wear out as time passes. The chalk is used for rubbing the tip in circular motion. In that way you keep it in good shape, which allows you to perform your shots well during the entire match. Despite the fact it’s recommended to rub the tip after every shot, you should at least do it after more powerful shots, when giving spin/swerve to your balls, or especially after a failed shot, as those moves damage the surface of the tip the most.

Remember to chalk after every miscue.

I just had to have a copy for my very own. You need to sign up to "Issuu" to download but it doesn't cost anything or require a credit card.
 
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mchnhed

I Came, I Shot, I Choked
Silver Member
I have not seen so much effort put into such a pile of crap before short of terrorist propaganda.

I think that some people on AzB and other blogs are paid to antagonize and disrupte so that the readers are distracted from the real going on's in the world. A common trick used in slight of hand magic.

Just check the "Non Pool Related" section of AzB.

More Troll action going on there then anywhere on AzB.

I thought AzB was a Billiards/Pool site?
 
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mchnhed

I Came, I Shot, I Choked
Silver Member
That is the ultimate troll. It's pool's version of 'Rick-Rolling'.


Rick Rolling
A method in which a prankster makes a fake link to the music video of Rick Astley's "Never going to give you up". To be Rick Rolled is to be the victim, Rick Rolling is the act of being the perpetrator. The prank is considered funny because of the horrible dancing in this music video. Sometimes the bar tender is seen to be funnier. Over one million people have been Rick Rolled and counting.
"Hey guys lets go Rick Rolling on the our favorite video game (Pool) forums, they'll get a kick out of this!"


Trent from Toledo has accused me of being poolkillers reincarnated.
 
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Poolplaya9

Tellin' it like it is...
Silver Member
The guy was totally serious about the guide, just an idiot about pool and very defensive about it.

Nah, he was a master troll was all, and a dedicated one who was willing to put in a whole lot of time and effort. Take the terminology for example. Nobody, even someone who has never even played pool, would get the terminology 100% wrong on every last single thing. They would get something right just on luck alone, plus certain things are just pretty common knowledge like people know what the diamonds are called, and rails, etc. It was done intentionally. The document itself was also laid out pretty well and was fairly well written. Nobody that dumb would have the ability to create that document like that. There are tons of other tells as well. 100% troll.
 

Lesh

One Hole Thinkifier
Silver Member
I am going to the hall today and I am going to read excerpts aloud in the voice of Jimmy Mattaya to my friends as I gesticulate in a Brooklyn manner. Should be instructive.

Best wishes,

Lesh
 

StraightPoolIU

Brent
Silver Member
I am going to the hall today and I am going to read excerpts aloud in the voice of Jimmy Mattaya to my friends as I gesticulate in a Brooklyn manner. Should be instructive.

Best wishes,

Lesh

Make sure to fully demonstrate PK's ultimate contribution to the sport, The Ram Shot!
 

StraightPoolIU

Brent
Silver Member
I think he wasted a lot of time typing the whole thing, so he loses points for inefficiency. Here is what he had to say about chalk:

4. Chalk
After each shot is made, the tip of the stick tends to wear out as time passes. The chalk is used for rubbing the tip in circular motion. In that way you keep it in good shape, which allows you to perform your shots well during the entire match. Despite the fact it’s recommended to rub the tip after every shot, you should at least do it after more powerful shots, when giving spin/swerve to your balls, or especially after a failed shot, as those moves damage the surface of the tip the most.

Remember to chalk after every miscue.

I just had to have a copy for my very own. You need to sign up to "Issuu" to download but it doesn't cost anything or require a credit card.

This is a perfect example of why I'm convinced it was trolling. You can see that the basic advice he gives, to chalk after ever shot or at least before you're going to load up the cueball, is correct (one of the few times). However, his reasoning behind why is totally asinine and I believe purposefully ridiculous. I seriously wish whomever wrote it would come forward.
 

mchnhed

I Came, I Shot, I Choked
Silver Member
I seriously wish whomever wrote it would come forward.

:grin-devilish:Don't paint the Devil on the wall!:grin-devilish:

Do not paint the devil on the wall because it may come off the wall.

One sourse claims that the phrase is Hungarian and I have found another claiming that it is a Latvian saying.
Most instances of its use seem to be in German, Russian and Baltic texts.

It also appears in the song Lyrics of the heavy metal band Megadeth and Rage.

It means don't imagine (or spread tales of) evil because your fantasies may come to life.
 
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gregcantrall

Center Ball
Silver Member
This is a perfect example of why I'm convinced it was trolling. You can see that the basic advice he gives, to chalk after ever shot or at least before you're going to load up the cueball, is correct (one of the few times). However, his reasoning behind why is totally asinine and I believe purposefully ridiculous. I seriously wish whomever wrote it would come forward.
He does not reference before only after the shot. So the troll is intact.:rolleyes:
it’s recommended to rub the tip after every shot, you should at least do it after more powerful shots, when giving spin/swerve to your balls, or especially after a failed shot, as those moves damage the surface of the tip the most.
 

Cardigan Kid

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Since there have been new members here that have not had the pleasure of running into PoolKillers and a few other names he/she/it went by, for your reading pleasure, I present the official unofficial made up rules of 8 ball. It will immediately elevate whatever issue you are having with the game to genius status compared to this. I do not suggest reading this while drinking anything hot that can hurt you if spilled or spewed out in laughter or while operating machinery.

http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?t=283041&highlight=PoolKiller

As a sample:

"Pool tables come in many shapes and forms; however, they all share a similar layout: surface, six holes, four borders, ball container and ball exit hole. Most of them have a separated exit hole for white ball (white exit hole) and a coin entry (especially in bars). Table layout in details is presented in the following chapter."

I have not seen so much effort put into such a pile of crap before short of terrorist propaganda.

In bold, highlighted in red..page 32....
"When in doubt, use full power"

Haaaaaaa! This is pool comedy gold.
Thanks for sharing
 

alstl

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Since there have been new members here that have not had the pleasure of running into PoolKillers and a few other names he/she/it went by, for your reading pleasure, I present the official unofficial made up rules of 8 ball. It will immediately elevate whatever issue you are having with the game to genius status compared to this. I do not suggest reading this while drinking anything hot that can hurt you if spilled or spewed out in laughter or while operating machinery.

http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?t=283041&highlight=PoolKiller

As a sample:

"Pool tables come in many shapes and forms; however, they all share a similar layout: surface, six holes, four borders, ball container and ball exit hole. Most of them have a separated exit hole for white ball (white exit hole) and a coin entry (especially in bars). Table layout in details is presented in the following chapter."

I have not seen so much effort put into such a pile of crap before short of terrorist propaganda.

A bull has an exit hole designed specifically for this type of thing.
 

9andout

Gunnin' for a 2 pack!!
Gold Member
Silver Member
Oh man I remember that. Hilarious. Can't believe people even got mad about it. I'm convinced it was grand master level trolling. I mean old boy wrote an entire manual of nonsense.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk
We can only hope!
 

pt109

WO double hemlock
Gold Member
Silver Member
I actually think PK was the Ovid of the bar rules crowd.

...and I think that from his point of view, he wasn't trolling....
...therefore, he's not a troll.

If someone from my hometown had wrote an instructional book on snooker...
...when I was a teenager...
...it would've been in the same vein as PK's.

We played snooker 'call shots', you could hit the pink ball on the break, and we did...
...as hard as we could.
If you fouled the cue ball, but it didn't go six inches, you still got your turn.

Push shots...never heard of 'em...at rotation (we called it 'boston') if the cue ball got
froze to the pack, we just whaled at it...that shot was known as 'six inches of cue'...
....sometimes you snuck in a couple extra hits on the object balls on that shot...:)

If you played a safety more than once a month, you became known as a nit.

The only great player we ever heard of was Willie Hoppe, we thought he played snooker.
 
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