It is okay to post a PM (private message) on the Open Forum?

[Nostroke]

Sometimes PMs are used as a matter of convenience for communicating with no thought whatever to the 'private' part. However, unless there is a good reason and you have permission, normally you cannot publish them no matter what the reason PMs were used.

Of course if there are clear threats in them-different story. So basically use your own discrepancy :smile:

 

[bigshooter]

Private message on a public forum... no.

 

[justadub]

Back when this was still the Internet, long before there was such a thing
as a PM, the Unwritten Law was one NEVER displayed publicly the contents
of a private communication... Remember email?

I have seen people tiptoe around the spirit, by paraphrasing attribituted
statements, etc. But still refrain from displaying anything sent privately.

I think it is still the only way to go.

Dale

This is my thinking, as well.

If I received a PM that I felt strongly enough to comment on, I would only refer to the fact that I received one, and make generalized comments about it. I would never post a Private Message.

 

[elvicash]

I would think a PM is like a letter you sent it to me so now it is mine unless you request on the sending to keep it private. Then perhaps the sender has some right to privacy but in general if you send out anything in the world it is likely to be shared and or posted publicly. It might be bad manners but it happens whether it is posted publicly or forwarded. Is a PM like an E-mail most mail clients have forward built in, should a receiver ask prior to forwarding anything someone writes to them,

I recently posted a PM I was sent by an AZer. I was trying to make a wager and they had sent me a PM saying they would get to me eventually, then publicly they intimated they had told me they would not except my action as I had not responded to the PM. So I publicly posted the complete PM in response to that and indicated I saw nothing in the PM elliciting a response. This act of posting their PM offended them and they they then decided the publication of the PM was in bad taste so again they wanted no action. I meant no disrespect to them, the PM was extremely bland it basically said I know you want action I will get around to you eventually. I could have just wrote I did not see anything in the PM requesting a reply but alas I did not and thus I offended John Barton. I meant no harm.

 

[CreeDo]

I'm inclined to say it's okay.

I feel everyone should be prepared to own their words, and explain themselves if they seem to be showing a different face in public then they do in private.

I try not to say anything in p.m. That would make me ashamed if it got out.

Of course there are certain subjects where it's considered rude to share with others, regardless of how you learned the information.

And there will be times when your public opinions are much more politely phrased than your private ones, just for the sake of keeping the peace.




Posted from Azbilliards.com App for Android

 

[Maniac]

I voted "no", but.........

I'm in the group that thinks it is okay as long as the sender doesn't have any problem with it...or gives permission to have it posted.

Under the 2 options I had to vote on....I had to say "no".

Maniac

 

[Masayoshi]

Its okay unless there is prior mutual agreement not to share the information in the message. Of course, common sense applies to most situations, if a seller gives you a special deal on an item, don't expect to be on good relations with that seller if you go around telling everyone about it (unless he wants you to).

Usually the only reason PMs would or should be shared is when the sender is out of line. In those cases, you should provide the PMs as proof of malicious behavior if required so as not to just look like you are just making baseless accusations.

 

[RRfireblade]

I think it depends on the content and circumstances.

So my answer to the poll is it needs a 'maybe'.

 

[elvicash]

I'm inclined to say it's okay.

I feel everyone should be prepared to own their words, and explain themselves if they seem to be showing a different face in public then they do in private.

I Posted from Azbilliards.com App for Android

I am thinking like you especially the people saying one thing publicly and acting different on a PM if you write it privately it just might show up in public. Nothing is ever for sure gone on the internet.

I think it depends on the content and circumstances.

So my answer to the poll is it needs a 'maybe'.

And I do not disagree with this either.

I suspect that your company's President would disagree. Try posting a private company email publicly. It might not be the wisest move as far as your career is concerned.

But in the same context Stu using a company computer for E-mail through a server or just using the computer to do something privately you might soon find out that that is not in any way private the company generally owns all of those communications and content.

 

[PaulieB]

Well, here's a question to ponder. If it did happen to you, someone posted a PM of yours in the open forum, how would you handle it? Ignore the fact that it happened or confront them privately and let them know it pissed you off?

I would respond in the public thread that they created that I thought it was classless and out of line for them to bring a private message to the public forums and ask them to respond to me via PM, as I refuse to continue to comment in public forums regarding something that I obviously wished to keep private.

That would be my one and only post in the public thread. I would not keep threatening to NOT respond in that thread yet keep responding in it anyways.

 

[arps]

if you plan on posting a PM that was sent to you, ask the sender first if it's ok to post it.

 

[JB Cases]

This is a private poll, so lurkers can feel free to vote. It's a simle yes-or-no answer.

It's never simple. It depends on the circumstances and what the fight is about. Almost all the PMs I send are done with idea that they could be made public. Sometimes I even count on it.

 

[easy-e]

This isn't a business (for most of us anyways), it's more like a pool hall. If someone makes an ass out of themselves in a PM to me, I have no problem posting it. Just like I'd have no problem letting others know what kind of garbage someone was telling me "in private" at a pool hall. I also really appreciate seeing what others are saying in "private". It helps me paint a better picture of them and whether I'd like to ever be associated with them.

What if the PM was extremely racist, or threatening, but the author of the PM was generally a well-respected person on the forums? I'd put that PM on the main forum in a heartbeat so everyone could see who they were really dealing with.

If that upsets anyone I'd suggest not sending me a PM that makes you look like a jackass.

 

[JAM]

Reading the variety of replies is quite enlightening. Thanks to all who voted and/or replied on the thread.

I have never been shy to speak my mind, how I feel, and if I have something to say about somebody behind their back, you can be sure that I would have no problem saying it in front of their face.

I have received PMs from time to time from folks who write things that I would not think they would want to be shared in the open forum, and if I were to do so, I think it woud not be appreciated by them.

That said, there are some members who seem to send more PMs than others. In fact, I think they may spend more time PM-ing than they post.

Me personally, I am usually very careful what I put in print, as I am aware of the possibility that it can be disseminated or published in the open forum. I would not appreciate it happening, but if it did, I would own it. I do believe people shoud have a modicum of respect for PMs (private messages), however, before they publish somebody else's PM.

Anyway, thanks again to all who did reply. Maybe this thread will be a reminder to be careful what you write in a PM to other forum members. You just never know when it will be published in the open forum for all to read. :wink:

 

[Spimp13]

Just estimating on numbers to be for me 95+% of the time no, 5% of the time yes....

Only 2 times off the top of my head for a yes would be with permission from the sender to post it, or if they say yes in a thread for you to post it.

#2 would be for legal aspects, or for proof against allegations against your character, your business, or some important aspect affecting you financially, or even to some emotionally. That differs for each person on what that may be.

Just throwing out estimated numbers...for me its probably realistically closer to 98-99+% no.

 

[jhanso18]

This is a private poll, so lurkers can feel free to vote. It's a simle yes-or-no answer.

You and I had this conversation JAM. My private messages are just that, PRIVATE.

 

[krupa]

Morally/ethically, private messages are private and it's never OK to make them public. (Threatening/exceedingly offensive messages should be reported to moderaters, but I don't consider that making them public.)

Having said that, I would never put in a PM, forum post, or email something that would embarrass or cause problems for me if they were made public.

I would also add that if I had problems with someone on this forum or a cue/case maker, I would not make them public either. I would put my opinions in the Revew sub-forum (in the case of cue/case makers) and leave it at that; the ignore feature of this forum works quite well.

 

[DelaWho???]

I have no control over whether someone sends me a PM or not. I log on and it is there. As it is unsolicited I am under no obligation to keep it's contents private.

It is like telling someone not to take offense when you are about to say something to them you think they may not like. I cannot promise to not be offended by something I have yet to hear.

 

[DelaWho???]

You and I had this conversation JAM. My private messages are just that, PRIVATE.

How can you expect someone to keep something private without their prior consent? Would you tell a random stranger on the street a secret and expect it to be kept?

 

[JAM]

You and I had this conversation JAM. My private messages are just that, PRIVATE.

I agree. :smile:

If I sent somebody a PM and said, hypothetically speaking, "Thank you for the green rep," then I would not be concerned if that PM was shared.

On the other hand, if I sent somebody a PM and said, as an example, "I came in last place in the pool tournament, and I am upset about it," I am not sure that I would want that shared if I was embarrassed about it.

I think most people will use common sense about when and when not to repeat something written in private to them.