Joke Thread Forum

This not a joke just an informative statement. If you have a Christmas tree put cough drops in the water. It's good for the tree. The cough drops keep the tree from catching a cold and coughing it's balls off.
 
Do you remember when taking a knee actually meant something???


Maybe you should ask Nancy Kerrigan...
 
Donald Trump and Obama ended up in the same barber shop. Each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse all day.”
The second barber turned to Trump and said, “How about you sir?” Trump replied, “Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
 
How can a pool player get 25% better gas mileage?? Take the "Dominos" sign off the roof. :D
 
I ponder

I was told that making love between two people is just another form of communication,

I guess if that's true, then mastrabation, is kinda like talking to yourself?
 
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desi2960 said:
I was told that making love between two people is just another form of communication,

I guess if that's true, then mastrabation, is kinda like talking to yourself?
Click to expand...

Woody Allen:
"Masturbation, at least its sex with someone you love"
 
Relapse

Ministry

LYRICS

I'm waiting for the end of days
I think I'm good but I just might stay
But I'm too wasted to care
And if I go well fair is fair

I'm headed for a relapse

I'm waiting for the apocalypse in 2012
But I'm so wasted
I'll see you all in hell

I relapse you laugh
I feel it coming
A total collapse

Well surgeons cut to heel you
Axe murders cut to kill you
Well I'm filthy rich and I'm horny
But you just ****ing bore me

I relapse you laugh
I feel it coming
A total collapse

I just ***** and moan about all my groans

I'm headed for a relapse

Well I love life to death
But I also love crystal meth
But those two don't usually get along
And a lot of people think that's wrong

I relapse you laugh
I feel it coming
A total collapse

Songwriters: Al Jourgensen
 
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