Need Advice

rburgoyne

rburgoyne

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
So this weekend I will be playing in a Scotch Doubles tournament to benefit the Toys For Tots charity. My partner is going to be my wife. :eek: I am a SL 7 and she is a SL 3, so honestly I don't expect her to shoot like me or make every shot. However I tend to make the cringe face when she misses certain shots. I mean nothing bad by it, its an instant reaction that I get rid of quickly, but she sees me and I get the lecture about the look. I know this is for charity, and I don't care if we win or lose, although my competiveness will probably creep in a little bit. But short of wearing a mask, any ideas on how to lose the instant reactions or at least advice to ensure her I don't mean anything bad by it?

BTW, everyone in the Raleigh, NC area needs to come out for this. $40 entry + a toy, no green fees and its for a great cause. Here is the info: http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?p=2150457#post2150457
 
Lower your expectations for her. pretend she is a SL2, and when she does those shots laugh, then you will enjoy it much better when she pulls a shot off that you didn't expect. It takes alot to get used to playing partners and you really have to concentrate on your game and not on her shots.
 
Concentrate on giving her encouragement after a shot than the instant reaction you have after one.

Wish I could come out, but I have no partner and Raleigh is a good haul for me even if I could find someone that would actually want to make the drive with me.
 
Yeah, you're taking it too seriously and you really need to do one of two things - either get a new scotch-doubles partner OR don't focus on winning and enjoy yourself.

By reacting the way you do, not only are you diminishing your chances at success, you are also damaging your relationship. Expect to lose. Make fun plans with your wife for when you get knocked out like, "Hey, if we get knocked out early, let's go catch that movie we've wanted to see."

Truth be told, even if you two were the best players in the field, there's always a reasonable chance you're going to lose so ALWAYS take it in stride especially when the prize cannot even begin to compare to what the cost might be.
 
Neil said:
Something to think about- Do you want to 'get any' when you get home? If so, don't do things that will tick her off.:wink: Instead, say something like "nice try, honey!"
Click to expand...

also, since you are the SL7 try to leave her the most makable shot you can, it will sometimes leave you a crappy shot but should at least preserve the family peace.

Mike
 
rburgoyne said:
So this weekend I will be playing in a Scotch Doubles tournament to benefit the Toys For Tots charity. My partner is going to be my wife. :eek: I am a SL 7 and she is a SL 3, so honestly I don't expect her to shoot like me or make every shot. However I tend to make the cringe face when she misses certain shots. I mean nothing bad by it, its an instant reaction that I get rid of quickly, but she sees me and I get the lecture about the look. I know this is for charity, and I don't care if we win or lose, although my competiveness will probably creep in a little bit. But short of wearing a mask, any ideas on how to lose the instant reactions or at least advice to ensure her I don't mean anything bad by it?

BTW, everyone in the Raleigh, NC area needs to come out for this. $40 entry + a toy, no green fees and its for a great cause. Here is the info: http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?p=2150457#post2150457
Click to expand...

Eat something sour and take a bite of it everytime she shoots. At least you will have an excuse for the face!
 
Turn the cringe into a happy laughing smile. Only you will know. This is for fun and a good cause. Winning or losing doesn't mean crap. Just have some fun.
 
rburgoyne said:
So this weekend I will be playing in a Scotch Doubles tournament to benefit the Toys For Tots charity. My partner is going to be my wife. :eek: I am a SL 7 and she is a SL 3, so honestly I don't expect her to shoot like me or make every shot. However I tend to make the cringe face when she misses certain shots. I mean nothing bad by it, its an instant reaction that I get rid of quickly, but she sees me and I get the lecture about the look. I know this is for charity, and I don't care if we win or lose, although my competiveness will probably creep in a little bit. But short of wearing a mask, any ideas on how to lose the instant reactions or at least advice to ensure her I don't mean anything bad by it?

BTW, everyone in the Raleigh, NC area needs to come out for this. $40 entry + a toy, no green fees and its for a great cause. Here is the info: http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?p=2150457#post2150457
Click to expand...

Take one for the team and treat it like any other thing that you really don't want to do but have to for marital bliss. I still say any guy who says he likes shopping is either gay, trying to get laid or has no choice.

Accept your going to lose encourage her when she does well and who knows it might be fun.
 
Thanks for everyone's advice. I do believe this is only for fun and I don't think we will win anyway, so I plan to just have fun. I will definitely be focusing on encouraging her.... wish me luck!
 
Oh man, I feel for you. My wife never joined the apa because of "the look." And I tried to be so nice about it, I never said a word even though she missed even the easiest shots. But, "the look" does me in every time. I thought she was being unreasonable, but I see she is not alone. And I'm kinda glad, I thought she was nuts. I have learned not to try to get her involved anymore, but I wish you better luck. Poker guys wear dark glasses, maybe we should wear bandanas like the lone ranger! Good luck to you sir, you are gonna need it!
 
Step 1 is obviously to make sure you're not holding onto expectations of success. If your scotch doubles partner is not a good player, it doesn't matter how good you are; the two of you together cannot play the game very well. It sounds like you've got step 1 under control.

Step 2 is to play an imagination game, so that you're not disappointed when she does something very bad, and you're pleasantly surprised when she does something good. Try to imagine that your wife is blind-folded. When the shot goes badly, you can hardly be surprised or disappointed, right? Or maybe try to imagine that instead of your wife shooting, a minor earthquake occurs between your turns at the table, re-positioning the balls at random. If it goes in your favor, great! If not, then there's nothing to blame but the ineffable forces of nature.

Also, don't give her any pointers during the game. Wait until the next day to help her on things she struggles with. She'll be more likely to see it as helpfulness, and less likely to see it as criticism, which may hurt her feelings or make her defensive.

And you can believe all this, coming from a man whose wife has vowed never to play pool with him again.

-Andrew
 
Andrew Manning said:
Also, don't give her any pointers during the game. Wait until the next day to help her on things she struggles with. She'll be more likely to see it as helpfulness, and less likely to see it as criticism, which may hurt her feelings or make her defensive.

-Andrew
Click to expand...

I am glad you pointed that out... she doesn't take to well to pointers while she is playing. Thank you!
 
StevenPWaldon said:
Is it too late to get a different wife?
Click to expand...


Yes, trade her in for another model that plays better :grin:

That, or tell her she needs to practice more and step up her game cause you are tired of being the only decent pool player in the family....

Either route should do the trick....

Please post up results after your discussion with her....
 
I like the sour food option.
Poker was mentioned...you could pretend you are playing poker and just keep the same blank stare on your face although that might not get you anywhere either.

I say consider yourself lucky that she is still around. I am a crappy player who takes plenty of shots that deserve the face. I give myself the face when it happens and my girlfriend hates it. Although she doesn't play pool, I can't imagine what would happen if I made the face at her.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top