Ode to The Dead Nuts

lfigueroa

lfigueroa

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Writing in Joey's thread about playing better players made me think of the flip side to that: playing the lesser players :-)

#####
I don't know. Lately now (for months actually), everyone I matchup with plays like a champion against me. Not only do they shoot way over their head, everything flippin' cockamamie shot they try works. And when they screw up, they get away with it in complete and total cold blood.

And it's not like I'm playing bad. Truth be told, I'm playing pretty well lately, and I've been showing marked improvement, week after week. But recently, it's always a struggle to eke out a victory and many times I don't get there. I draw someone in a tournament and they play like Cliff Joyner. I walk into a strange pool room and ask the only guy in the room to play and it turns out to be the local champ. I match up with someone I haven't seen in a while, and give them what I used to, and they've improved three balls.

But a few days ago, a guy woofed at me to play some 1pocket. I thought to myself, "Self, you should have the best of this... but then again, the way things have been going lately..." So we flip a coin and three shots into the game, something becomes absolutely unbelievably crystal clear to me: I have "The Nuts." Not only do I have "The Nuts," I have "The Stone Cold Brazilian Nuts." In a word, I'm: stealing.

Suddenly, the world is a better place to be. I can joke with the sweators. I can beneficently give my opponent the benefit of the doubt on close calls. I can shoot a flyer or two. And I practically shout out, "Nice shot!" whenever my opponent manages one.

Life is good. I love pool and my fellow man. I send my wife flowers, just because.

O' De Nuts. What joy you bring :-)
#####

Anyone else ever had The Dead Nuts?

Lou Figueroa
 
YEah....

It is a pretty good feeling...

Me, Dan Wallace and Chris Rose like to hang out at this dive bar with some bar boxes. We'll occasionally get asked to play or will shoot around on these bar boxes for fun while we're drinking. You'll get these guys who have absolutely no idea what real pool is who think they have a chance, but me Dan or Chris are the only ones ever breaking the balls if you catch my drift and occasionally we'll be betting for something other than drinks which always helps the pocket book...

Jaden
 
Thread of the Day! Beautifully stated and thanks for making my day with this.

When it starts to all come together and it just feels right that's one amazing feeling. That's definitely one reason I'm hooked on this game and don't plan to give it up.

I've gone through the same thing playing tournament after tournament, giving away the world and then wondering when it'll all come together again.

I wasn't playing badly either but it just seemed that no matter what I pulled off it wasn't going my way and at times that was including putting 4 or 5 packs together or long straight pool runs. Then it strikes, doesn't matter who you're playing and it's a hell of a ride on that wave. You never want it to end and it's more than that dead stroke feeling of the cue being an extension of your arm. Naturally, eventually someone else has to win or get their turn at this feeling to keep pool alive. Without the tough times the easy times really aren't as sweet but when you finally grind through that thick muck there's nothing like it.
 
lmao

that was great!

yes, realizing one has the brazilians is truly uplifting.

but then, there is the ying to that yang. Losing when you got the Dead Nuts. Suddenly the world is a dark place. Like getting hit by bird crap between the eyes on beautiful day, it comes suddenly and cruelly. The realization your opponent just outran the nuts.
 
lfigueroa said:
Anyone else ever had The Dead Nuts?

Lou Figueroa
Click to expand...

Sure have and it's not bad considering the "cheesy" looking label.

decent dennis said:
At first i thought this was someone's obituary.
Click to expand...

It is .... well sorta.

chronic-cellars-dead-nuts1.jpg

Bob <-- Wonders if Paso is related to Tony!!??>
 
It's that darn Murphy feller and his laws:

If anything can go wrong, it will and at the most inopportune time. (Finally fade a race and it's hill-hill, you break, make the wing ball, and scratch leaving the 9 in the jaws with the one two inches away.)

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. (Run a difficult rack down to, and including, the seven and get married on the 9 with no way to kick the 8.)

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway. (Perfect break, run down to the last ball, chalk up, have a muscle spasm (tic) at the trigger, and miscue!)

If it is perceived that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and they are circumvented, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop. (They announce over the load speaker that your wife is on the phone, doesn't sound happy, and wants you to come home NOW!)

If everything seems to be going well, something has obviously been overlooked. (Because of what has been happening all night, this weighs on your mind and you miss a gimme.)

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw; however, the hidden flaw never stays hidden for long -- thank the Pool Gods for that!.

<My 2¢, I'm out.>
 
Jaden said:
It is a pretty good feeling...

Me, Dan Wallace and Chris Rose like to hang out at this dive bar with some bar boxes. We'll occasionally get asked to play or will shoot around on these bar boxes for fun while we're drinking. You'll get these guys who have absolutely no idea what real pool is who think they have a chance, but me Dan or Chris are the only ones ever breaking the balls if you catch my drift and occasionally we'll be betting for something other than drinks which always helps the pocket book...

Jaden
Click to expand...

Which dive bar?
 
Mr Figueroa......I'm not going for this.

And 'ode', as you well know, is a type of lyrical verse.

..so, as one of our foremost wordsmiths, I think it's only right that you
should give us an 'ode'.

gotta a feeling you'll discover a new talent
 
lfigueroa said:
Writing in Joey's thread about playing better players made me think of the flip side to that: playing the lesser players :-)

#####
I don't know. Lately now (for months actually), everyone I matchup with plays like a champion against me. Not only do they shoot way over their head, everything flippin' cockamamie shot they try works. And when they screw up, they get away with it in complete and total cold blood.

And it's not like I'm playing bad. Truth be told, I'm playing pretty well lately, and I've been showing marked improvement, week after week. But recently, it's always a struggle to eke out a victory and many times I don't get there. I draw someone in a tournament and they play like Cliff Joyner. I walk into a strange pool room and ask the only guy in the room to play and it turns out to be the local champ. I match up with someone I haven't seen in a while, and give them what I used to, and they've improved three balls.

But a few days ago, a guy woofed at me to play some 1pocket. I thought to myself, "Self, you should have the best of this... but then again, the way things have been going lately..." So we flip a coin and three shots into the game, something becomes absolutely unbelievably crystal clear to me: I have "The Nuts." Not only do I have "The Nuts," I have "The Stone Cold Brazilian Nuts." In a word, I'm: stealing.

Suddenly, the world is a better place to be. I can joke with the sweators. I can beneficently give my opponent the benefit of the doubt on close calls. I can shoot a flyer or two. And I practically shout out, "Nice shot!" whenever my opponent manages one.

Life is good. I love pool and my fellow man. I send my wife flowers, just because.

O' De Nuts. What joy you bring :-)
#####

Anyone else ever had The Dead Nuts?

Lou Figueroa
Click to expand...

I know the feeling, Lately I've been on a crazy roll and i hope it never ends. It truly makes the game a joy to play.

104806079_aa044f506d.jpg
 
I must be some kinda masochist, cuz when I realize we shouldn't be playing even or the spot ain't right....I immediately start trying to figure out a way to make it more challenging (9-7 is no good...hmmm, maybe I'll give him 10-6 next game or more). I guess a stone cold lead pipe lock makes my day gloomy instead....:o
 
pt109 said:
Mr Figueroa......I'm not going for this.

And 'ode', as you well know, is a type of lyrical verse.

..so, as one of our foremost wordsmiths, I think it's only right that you
should give us an 'ode'.

gotta a feeling you'll discover a new talent
Click to expand...


lol. Fair enough. Give me a few minutes.

Lou Figueroa
 
pt109 said:
Mr Figueroa......I'm not going for this.

And 'ode', as you well know, is a type of lyrical verse.

..so, as one of our foremost wordsmiths, I think it's only right that you
should give us an 'ode'.

gotta a feeling you'll discover a new talent
Click to expand...


Ode to The Mortal Dead Nuts
(with apologies to Mark Twain)

And did young rival sicken,
And did young rival die?
And did the rail birds thicken,
And did the backers cry?

No: such was not the fate of
Young Stephen Dowling Bots;
Though sad hearts around him thicken,
‘Twas not from missing shots.

No errant banks did shrink his frames,
Nor measles ball, with spots;
Not these impaired the billiards game
Of Stephen Dowling Bots.

Despised scratch struck not with woe
That head of curly knots,
Nor unseen kisses laid him low,
Young Stephen Dowling Bots.

O no. Then list with tearful eye,
Whilst I his fate do tell.
His money from his pocket flew,
From me, just shooting far too well.

I ran them out and emptied him;
Alas till broke I left the putz;
His spirit gone to sport aloft,
Victim of the mortal dead nuts.

Lou Figueroa
 
Last edited:
lfigueroa said:
Ode to The Mortal Dead Nuts
(with apologies to Mark Twain)

And did young rival sicken,
And did young rival die?
And did the rail birds thicken,
And did the backers cry?

No: such was not the fate of
Stephen Dowling Bots;
Though sad hearts around him thicken,
‘Twas not from missing shots.

No errant banks did shrink his frames,
Nor measles ball, with spots;
Not these impaired the billiards game
Of Stephen Dowling Bots.

Despised scratch struck not with woe
That head of curly knots,
Nor unseen kisses laid him low,
Young Stephen Dowling Bots.

O no. Then list with tearful eye,
Whilst I his fate do tell.
His money from his pocket flew,
From me, just shooting far too well.

I ran them out and emptied him;
Alas till broke I left the putz;
His spirit gone to sport aloft,
Victim of the mortal dead nuts.

Lou Figueroa
Click to expand...

Lou....as far as I can tell, with my limited intelligence, that was excellent.
..and you're a good sport

..now, would you stop being such a nit and give me two, hit, and the pick?

regards
pt.......:clapping:
 
The nuts

It is wonderful when it happens. Every angle looks perfect and you see the game with a clarity that is not there or goes away when you are in a game and realize you are up against the nuts yourself.

If I become aware I have way the best of it, I start getting very creative, trying to move multiple balls to my hole and trying tougher banks and other complicated shots, and they work. They do not work when I am playing better players. One of the mysteries of one pocket I guess.

The nuts very seldom happens for me anymore since I only play at a couple of local rooms and have been around so long it is impossible to sneak up on anyone. I do get a little action but it is always tough.

Should be some strangers next week for the Markulis Memorial Tournament at Hard Times and I will be in action but probably on the wrong end with any unknown opponents.
 
lfigueroa said:
Ode to The Mortal Dead Nuts
(with apologies to Mark Twain)

And did young rival sicken,
And did young rival die?
And did the rail birds thicken,
And did the backers cry?

No: such was not the fate of
Stephen Dowling Bots;
Though sad hearts around him thicken,
‘Twas not from missing shots.

No errant banks did shrink his frames,
Nor measles ball, with spots;
Not these impaired the billiards game
Of Stephen Dowling Bots.

Despised scratch struck not with woe
That head of curly knots,
Nor unseen kisses laid him low,
Young Stephen Dowling Bots.

O no. Then list with tearful eye,
Whilst I his fate do tell.
His money from his pocket flew,
From me, just shooting far too well.

I ran them out and emptied him;
Alas till broke I left the putz;
His spirit gone to sport aloft,
Victim of the mortal dead nuts.

Lou Figueroa
Click to expand...

Pure gold. :thumbup:
 
pt109 said:
Lou....as far as I can tell, with my limited intelligence, that was excellent.
..and you're a good sport

..now, would you stop being such a nit and give me two, hit, and the pick?

regards
pt.......:clapping:
Click to expand...


The original was excellent, mine is OK :-)



ODE TO STEPHEN DOWLING BOTS
Mark Twain

And did young Stephen sicken,
And did young Stephen die?
And did the sad hearts thicken,
And did the mourners cry?

No; such was not the fate of Young Stephen Dowling Bots;
Though sad hearts round him thickened,
'Twas not from sickness' shots.

No whooping-cough did rack his frame,
Nor measles drear, with spots;
Not these impaired the sacred name
Of Stephen Dowling Bots.

Despised love struck not with woe
That head of curly knots,
Nor stomach troubles laid him low,
Young Stephen Dowling Bots.

O no. Then list with tearful eye,
Whilst I his fate do tell.
His soul did from this cold world fly,
By falling down a well.

They got him out and emptied him;
Alas it was too late;
His spirit was gone for to sport aloft
In the realms of the good and great.

Mark Twain


Lou Figueroa
 
I can think of only one explanation: your mark is passing counterfeit bills.
 
Some guys have all the luck.

I wake up at night, aching to hear the awful screaming of the lambs.

It's been a long dry spell and I don't think I can wait for the Spring lambs. Please forward all lamb contact information to JoeyA.
 
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