pool's greatest one liners & quotes

:)

I love this thread!
And I kid you not!


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PoolBum said:
Mosconi (after his ball rolled off on the way to the pocket): "Look at that ball roll!!"

Fats: "They're s'posed to roll Willie, they're roouunnnd."
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i once saw a guy fly the cue ball off the table 3 times in a row off his break, dude next to me says... "well...at least he's consistent". :rolleyes:
 
crawfish said:
One of my playing friends pulled a good one on me the other night. I've got him 6-1 and he misses a very easy out with four balls on the table.

"That's in my new book. How to fu#$ up when there's no fu#$up there."

Killed me with that one.
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I've heard the variation "That's in my new book Why I hate my cash"
 
AnitoKid said:
In one of the pool halls I play at, members usually arrive at
5 PM and go home at closing time, around 12:30 AM.

Two buddies of mine, John & Eric, after losing some serious
money against their respective opponents, decided to leave
early for some drinks at a nearby pub.

However, after about a couple of minutes, they were back in the
pool hall smiling. Someone asked, "I thought you guys were going
out for drinks?"

With a beaming smile, John replied, "Yeah, we were about to.
But we just saw Eric's personal ATM parked his car!"

:)
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I've heard the variation upon seeing a favorite game enter the room "There's my steak dinner!"
 
Attributed to Tommy Kennedy WAY back in the day when he was young and busting people.

He beats some guy out of more than the guys wants to pony up in cash and asks if TK will take a check.

"What's a check?":thumbup:




I head this attributed to Cornbread, in SNAP magazine years ago....

The language was something like he walks up to some "tush-hog" slaps him on the shoulder and asks "What's your best game?".

The guy punches him, and Red falls down.

Red gets up, rubbing his chin and says "OK, what's your second best game?"
 
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one of the best local players around my town in the late 80's early 90's missed a straight in 9 for the cash($500) looked at me(in front of about 20 people)very wide eyed and say's
'' it's like jerkin off in a wh%^ehouse''--ROSSVILLE RED
I have used it ever since for just about everything
 
Not really a pool related quote but I about passed out laughing once when a customer of mine (a cowboy) once said: "It's a lazy man who can't find his woman two jobs." I have met a few players over the years who I'm sure live by that motto.
 
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Years ago in a practice game of straight pool with Chef Anton, he plays a safety. I said that not a very good safe. He responds with "we'll see".

After running eighty something balls I finally missed and he says "aha, now you see the strength of that safety". He is a card.

Another time I have a perfect layout in eight ball to get out and make a mistake on the first shot. I said, how does someone have it perfect and don't get out? He raised his hand and said "I know, I know"
 
Ray Maples

Ray Maples was an old-time sh*theel rough hustler from Atlanta GA. He was up in the Sheridan-Wilson pool hall in Chicago and lamenting his brokeness with a few other unfortunates when one of his regular "customers" walked thru the front door. Ray smiled, and remarked to his fellow brokes, "...and in the window flew a dove!"

the Beard
 
Pete Horne used to say....OK u got a spot but i have to warn u, i've been practicing....lol!!
I sure would like to know where he is...
 
Dgerst said:
"It's a lazy man who can't find his woman two jobs."
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That's a funny line.......

Here's another....Minnesota Fats bragging that he had just played pool with Zsa Zsa Gabor earlier that day........Omaha Fats replies,"Well, I don't know who the man is, but if you played him, you had the NUTS."
 
a couple I recall

Overheard from a frustrated hustler who couldn't make a game:
............."what he needs is a heart transplant"

Keith McCready, after his backer is browbeating him about not playing a safety and missing a tough shot............"Now I got my backer sharking me"
 
Sick But Funny

I was at the dcc a couple years ago in the action room watching (svb play staliv) when a player i wont mention (E D) stands up and yells out

Anybody got any crack or herion :yikes:

sick yea but i thought it was funny.:rotflmao1:
 
"Tiger Woods can't hit a golf ball half as well as I can hit a cue ball"

-One of the greatest American players ever
 
Pay Phone

A see a guy I know walk by that I hadn't talked to for a while, I said "how ya hittin em Andy"? He replies"I wouldn't take the five ball from the pay phone"!
 
An older gentleman I play frequently. Goes to grab a cue off the wall, digs through them for a good 5 minutes then says

"Welp, we can't play today I can't find one with the right bend"

He then calmly gathers up his stuff and leaves the pool hall.
 
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